The Half Naked Truth

The always awesome Jason from The Jason Show recently posted some thoughts on nudity and asked his readers to share our favorite naked stories.  And who doesn't have one of those?  Without further ado, I humbly submit mine:


Back in the late 90s, in my late 20s, I was taking my last business trip out to California before I left my current job.  I was to meet up with our VP of Sales, Bob who had been my friend and mentor for the last seven years.  We were meeting with a series of companies headquartered in So Cal and capping it off with a sweet boondoggle Sales Meeting at a golf club in Rancho Santa Fe. 

Day one, I started off on the right foot by missing my early flight from Boston to LAX but managed to catch the next one -- with an upgrade to Business Class!  After meeting up at the Marriott,  Bob and I decided to go to Gladstone's on Sunset for dinner.  I had a glass of wine while we waited for our table and two more with dinner.  Upon our return to the hotel, we decided to hang in the cigar bar at the hotel (I mentioned it was the late 90s, right?) and ended up playing chess over another drink.

As I reached for my knight to make what I'm sure would have been a killer move,  I inadvertently took out most of the chess pieces.  Bob righted the board, suggested perhaps we should turn in, and walked me to the elevators. Apparently, all day travel + four glasses of wine + one meal in 24-hours for a 120-pound, 27-year-old woman was a bad combination.

Entering my hotel room, I took off my clothes, headed straight to the bathroom, (ahem) purged, and took a short nap.  Upon waking, I left the bathroom and walked...immediately...into...the...hotel corridor.  Naturally, the door locked behind me.   And there I stood; mostly asleep, still drunk, smelling not great, and wearing a t-shirt that barely covered the important parts - trying to formulate a plan.

- Appearing on Bob's doorstep in such a state was probably not such a good idea.
- Taking the elevator down to the lobby also held little appeal.
- Plan C?  Anyone? Bueller?

Just then, the door next to mine opened and a man appeared. Awesome. He took stock, reached the correct conclusion that I'd locked myself out, and generously offered to call Security.  He then asked if I'd like to wait in his room until they showed.  Dude, I'm drunk but not stupid.  Before I could formulate a less-rude reply, he said "correction, would you like to wait in my room with my sister and 14 month old niece?".  Oh.  Well then.  That's a horse of a different color. 

I enter his hotel room where his adorable niece is standing up in her Pack n Play clearly not ready to sleep.  I proceed to lean my make-up-smeared face over her, using my best auntie skillz while trying not to expose myself or breathe vomit/sleep breath on her.  Soon enough (probably not so for this family), Security arrived and I was let back into my hotel room to contemplate where one would find an AA meeting in the middle of the night in LA.

The next day at a breakfast meeting, God exacted His revenge by seating me next to a client who ordered sausage biscuits and gravy.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - Red

My friend, Sue at Laundry for Six was tagged in a meme to post seven red things. She went a little overboard and did ten(ish). I've decided to take up her challenge and post my own seven(ish).

Red is Gremlin's most favorite color.

Tea is my most favorite beverage.

We got a shiny new red emergency plate when we redid the kitchen.

Daisy's ears have been bugging her.
The vet asked us to get a urine sample. Yeah, right.

Hanging above our kitchen table.

My attempt at artistry above the kitchen cabinets.

20 Days 'til pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training!

I'm actually going to tag a few people because I haven't memed in forever:

Jean in Stimeyland, because I'm sure she's got 1000 red pictures just ready to go. And because she's speaking on an Autism panel at BlogHer!

Otter Thomas (not his real name) at Life of a New Dad, because I've never tagged a guy blogger before. And why does that sound dirty when clearly, it is not? And because I enjoy reading his take on the insights and milestones of first time parenting.

Rachel at A Reservation for Six. Because when you're preparing for the birth of your FIFTH child, there's nothing you need more than to help out a friend with a mindless task.

And if you're in the mood, please play along. You can check out a lot of other Wordless Wednesdays over here.

Stranger Than Fiction

Sarah at Slouching Past 40 challenged her readers to write a story in 100 words. This is my submission and my true story:


It was a Sunday night and she’d opted not to stay at her fiancé’s house but head back to her place to start off the week.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, the house simply “felt funny.” Still, she saw nothing unusual in the semi-darkness. Flipping lights as she went, she walked toward the bedroom.

As she reached for the closet door, he stepped out.

“Please don’t,” he asked as she backed away, reaching for the phone. For a moment she almost stopped. If he just left, it would be okay.

Then, “No. Never again.” She dialed the police.

Quick Takes Friday

1. The new boiler was installed last week! Woo hoo! In the process of removing the old boiler, they came across about a zillion sugar ants living in a nest under the boiler. I was actually embarrassed for a minute. Like not cleaning under the boiler made me a bad homemaker. Proof that I can be neurotic about anything.

2. The other night, I was walking back from the bathroom in my sleeping t-shirt and caught a glimpse of my physique in the mirror at the end of the hallway. At what I would have thought was the low point, a big chunk small crumb of Pop Tart fell off my shirt. And I started digging...

3. This week, I taken a kick boxing class and a my regular Friday yoga class. As God is my witness, I will never again allow myself to fall this badly out of shape again!

4. Andy recently compared K-Fed to Jabba the Hutt; he's fat, he's rich, and he's got Princess Leah in a metal bikini on a leash. In his heart he can't hate him. He has far exceeded any expectations anyone would have set for his life. And yes, he's joining Celebrity Fit Club.

5. If you link over to the www.kevinfederline.com, there's just a picture placeholder showing him diving into an empty pool and says "official site coming soon".

6. We attended our good friends' wedding this past weekend in Vermont. Completely sober and engaged in polite conversation with the bride's uncle, whom I had never met before, I shifted my weight from one foot to another on a grassy area and collapsed like one of the Twin Towers. Flat on my ass.

7. Last week, while we were waiting for HRH in his school yard playground, Gremlin took it upon himself to leave the school yard, cross the busy street, and wait for us at the car. Even as I ran, I was strangely calm, knowing in my heart that he had gone back to the car. He and the crossing guard, Mary, are now on a first name basis.


Thanks to Conversion Diary for providing an easy re-entry idea for my neglected blog.

It's a Major Award!

Do you all read Rachel at A Reservation for Six? You really should. She's funny, honest, and clearly an excellent judge of fine writing. So fine in fact that she's bestowed on me...an award:



It's actually called The Premios Dardo and is "given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing... created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web". Pretty impressive, huh? Rachel nicknamed it the Smoking Typewriter Award. So that is what I too shall call it.


Rule One of accepting this prestigious award call for me to put my name in a Google image search and share the results. Much like Rachel, the search results were unfit for publication on my blog (we're a family show). Rather, I am copying Rachel by Googling the words "Unfortunately Christine" and supplying the first ten results:


1. Unfortunately Christine's go-go boots are out of camera range. (Damn straight baby, Christine rocks the (Uggs) go-go boots!)

2. Unfortunately, Christine's case was quite severe and she had only a fraction of the normal length of small intestine. (Um, eww. Sorry, real Christine.)

3. Unfortunately, Christine was not Babe in the sequel, "Babe: Pig in the City," for "personal reasons." (Wait a minute. Am I the pig in this scenario??)

4. Unfortunately Christine’s story was no exception to the rule. (The first rule that came to mind was 'no good deed goes unpunished'. Awesome. Next!)

5. Unfortunately, Christine just so happened to have a voice that was stunning and mesmerizing. (You know how both of these words have more than one meaning? My singing would be the other meaning of stunning and mesmerizing.)

6. Unfortunately, Christine has retired from skating for a variety of reasons. (No sense of balance or skating talent being chief among them.)

7. Unfortunately, Christine doesn't mesh with the Stepford moms, and an awkward situation gets worse. (This could happen. This Christine doesn't do well with The Muffia).

8. Unfortunately Christine, I do not have room down here in Hell because I'm trying to save plenty of space for the gays. (The actual author was being facetious. Please don't send me hate mail.)

9. Unfortunately, Christine is ready for him and pulls a blaster on Power, who is without his Power Suit. (I'm working on my own super hero name. Andy suggested Neurotica.)

10. Unfortunately Christine has filled it with the same dribble she puts here. (Shouldn't it be drivel? Anything filled with dribble sounds quite disgusting. Either way, it seems like a proper ending to Part One.)

Rule Two of award acceptance calls for me to pass the award along to 10 worthy bloggers who (I pick because I like them) also exemplify the spirit of the Premios Dardo. And so I present The Smoking Typewriter award to 10 women that I don't think of merely as bloggers, I think of them as friends.

Julie at LLOL (Literally Laughing Out Loud) for sharing her wit, wisdom, and perseverance in raising boys.

Kate (k8) at The Big Piece of Cake makes me laugh out loud. One of the many reasons I'd move to DC.

Stacey at Is There Any Mommy Out There? makes me think and makes me laugh.


Sue at My Party of Six should definitely meet Rachel. I think they would be friends.

Natasha the Exile on Mom Street. I think Natasha is one of the prettiest names there is. I love sharing her road well-traveled.

Rachel at Diary of a Mad, Mad Housewife. My fellow Masshole, full of sarcastic wit and funny observations.

Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood. Tales of her boyz keep me laughing and make me want to travel out to the 495 belt for a glass of wine with my bloggy friend.

Jean in Stimeyland truly shares with us the ridiculous and the sublime. I am so buying Jean a drink in Chicago.

Always, my friend Katherine at Where's My Cape who presented me with my first award and with whom I'm bunking at BlogHer (even though she says she snores).

And lastly, to Jennifer on her Thursday Drive, who actually spends as much time on Facebook as I do. She makes me long to be a better writer.

Cheers, my friends!

Won Word Meme

Last week, I joined AllMediocre in the interest of getting a little more traffic to my site (cause I need validation like that) and I'm always interested in reading blogs that might have something in common with mine. Since then, I've been having a good time linking around (cause I'm a bit of a blog slut like that) and reading new friends.

Tonight, I linked onto A Mom Two Boys (cause it sounds familiar) and was on post number 5 or 6 before I realized that it was Meghan who had actually founded All Mediocre (cause I'm sharp like that).

Meghan was tagged with a meme in which you have to answer each question with only one word. Her answers were cute and funny but what made them unusual was that she included a second set of answers expanding on her original single-word answer. I'm stealing both the meme and the extended mix version (cause I like to pay homage like that). I'm also adding A Mom Two Boys to my feeds (cause I like her style).

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag

2. Your significant other? Andy

3. Your hair? Curly

4. Your mother? Me

5. Your father? Dead

6. Your favorite thing? Sleep

7. Your dream last night? ??

8 Your favorite drink? Wine

9. Your dream/goal? Retirement

10. The room you’re in? Kitchen

11. Your hobby? Yoga

12. Your fear? Trouble

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing

14. What you’re not? Confident

15. Muffins? Eh

16. One of your wish list items? Bath

17. Where you grew up? Bostonish

18. The last thing you did? TV

19. What are you wearing? Shorts

20. Favorite Gadget? Cell

21. Your pets? Superfluous

22. Your computer? New!!

23. Your mood? Eh

24. Missing someone? Yeah

25. Your car? Hazmat

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

27. Favorite store? Target

28. Like someone? Huz

29. Your favorite color? Green

30. When was the last time you laughed? 4:00-ish

31. Last time you cried? Years

Now the DJ-AM Extended Club Mix:

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse. Mostly dead. I have to remember to charge it when I'm home because the majority of my car trips are too short to get a good charge.

2. Your significant other? Andy. Just called me into the living room to watch Princess Leah in chains

3. Your hair? Curly. I got it cut over a week ago but still haven't bothered to style it because it's been too humid. And humid + curly = frizz.

4. Your mother? Me. I know what I'm going to be 22 years from now. Always have.

5. Your father? Dead. I let that sleeping dog lie.

6. Your favorite thing? Sleep. Sad, but at this juncture, probably true.

7. Your dream last night? I dreamed a 3-year-old kept getting out of his bed and coming into mine. Oh...wait...

8 Your favorite drink? Wine or maybe Tea. No. Wine.

9. Your dream/goal? Retirement. Summer on the Cape. Winter in Naples, Fl. Freelancing if we want to. And as long as it doesn't interfere with travel or golf.

10. The room you’re in? Kitchen. Because I need to be sitting at a table or desk to type well.

11. Your hobby? Yoga. It goes with that whole mind/body/spirit thing I'm working on.

12. Your fear? Trouble. AKA something bad happening to my family.

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing. The plan is that after the boys are in school full time, I go back to Boston Architectural College to study interior design. It's good to be nearly 40 and finally figure out what you want to be when you grow up.

14. What you’re not? Confident. I'll let that one stand alone for now as well

15. Muffins? Eh. Brownies on the other hand...

16. One of your wish list items? Bath. As in Master. Whenever we talk about a new house, that is an absolute. The definition of true luxury.

17. Where you grew up? Bostonish. Basically, I've lived in two towns my whole life.

18. The last thing you did? TV. I love almost anything on HGTV. Tonight it was Curb Appeal and Hidden Potential. I can't be bothered to link them.

19. What are you wearing? Shorts. It's 9:46 and still 80 degrees outside. The kitchen temp is 74.7 in case you were interested.

20. Favorite Gadget? Cell phone. I don't know anyone's phone number, I just know their speed dial. I also keep my appointments in there, and take lots of pictures.

21. Your pets? Superfluous. Not true but I needed just one word. They were my practice babies. While we're on vacation, we're making my sister stay at my mother's house so Maddie doesn't need to go to a kennel because at 8 years old, my dog has never spent a single night by herself. I don't think she knows she's a dog and not a person.

22. Your computer? New!! The funny thing is I needed a laptop so I could blog anywhere yet somehow I always end up in the kitchen.

23. Your mood? Eh. I'm in kind of a weird place right now. The boys are kicking my ass and I'm having trouble getting back in the zone.

24. Missing someone? Yeah. My best friend, Chris. It's a long story.

25. Your car? Hazmat. Not only is it my car but it's the family car, too. Just today, I proposed we hang onto it for a boat hauler/winter vehicle for Andy because the trade in will be junk anyway. This will leave me free to get something that still works for the kids and us but has a little more style/better fuel economy. I'm thinking possibly a CR-V.

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes. Now it's 79.7 degrees outside

27. Favorite store? Target. Where else can you go to buy a printer ink cartridge, personal lubricant, and five pounds of almonds? Exactly.

28. Like someone? Huz. Andy and I have these 'dates' where we sit in the kitchen, drink wine, and talk. It's sort of nice after 8 years of marriage to still have something to say to one another.

29. Your favorite color? Green (like my cooking)

30. When was the last time you laughed? Earlier. When I came downstairs and found a naked RC coming in the back door stating "I just peed on the deck."

31. Last time you cried? Years. My mom calls us 'the frozen chosen.' Just keep pushing those emotions down, pushing them down.

And hey, look! I'm breaking with tradition and tagging JCK at Motherscribe (cause she's going to Blogher and I'm soooo envious) and Fran at Merlot Mom (cause she is too, dammit!).

Why I'm Going to Hell

The New Girl has been polling the blogosphere lately asking what we'd like to hear about. One recent post was Memories (no cheesy spelling here) in which she talks about those memories that are much more visceral than others; where you can really feel the emotions just as the events unfolded on the day they occurred. In one, TNG talks about not paying for the hot chocolate of a mentally challenged man who didn't have enough money to pay at a gourmet shop. It started me thinking about some of those not-so-proud moments from my past. Here's one.

We're in our late teens/early twenties returning from a midnight show in my friend, Joe's car. There were six of us slammed into his '79 Dodge Aspen, with three of my good-sized guy friends in the backseat. We're stopped at a red light when Buffalo Stance comes on the radio (yes, it's playing in the background right now) so we turn. it. up. and commence with the over-the-top singing and dancing. The guys in back start noticing how the car bounces when they slam into each other and gyrations continue.

As the light changes from red to green, we notice the car next to us, with a couple inside giving us the finger as they take off. WTF? Being a bunch of pseudo-adolescents, we goad Joe into following them to find out what the deal is. Please keep in mind that we're hardly a bunch of thugs. I mean, we all met at Catholic school for God's sake! We're just being absurd and want to find out why they gave us the finger.

We move from a pretty main road in our town to a more residential neighborhood. They definitely know we're following them. They make the fatal mistake of turning onto a dead end street and with that, the guy slams their car into park and jumps out of the car, intent on protecting his girlfriend.

Our boys get out of the car as well only to learn that…the couple is deaf. When we were dancing in the car, they thought we were making fun of them using sign language and flipped us off! They were scared to death.

For what it was worth, everyone (and by everyone, I mean the guys because thank GOD, my girlfriend and I had never gotten out of the car, so I was able to just slide under the dashboard and watch everything unfold) apologized and explained what we thought had occurred, and that of course they weren't planning to beat this couple up (Really! I mean it! We weren't those type of kids! Please don't judge me!). In the end, the guys shook hands and all was 'well.'

I'm pretty sure I went to church the next day. Doesn't matter, my elevator is still going down.

Thanks, TNG for helping me to dredge up that painful memory. Now I'm going to have to go to church again.

Dirty Little Secrets, Dirty Little Lies

My long-lost, fraternal twin, Denise over at Real. Life. Ramblings. tagged me to provide my list of 10 Guilty Pleasures. Coincidentally, a while back, KC at Where's My Cape was supposed to have written about five songs she's embarrassed to admit she liked. As it turns out, for all the bad songs she likes, she's not a even a little embarrassed. KC was on my mind when I was thinking about pleasures, which are guilty and which are just embarrassing. Mine reflect a little of each.

1. Starbucks 2% Venti Iced Tazo Chai Latte, with eight pumps.
This is a guilty pleasure on two fronts, the first being the CALORIES (oh, Lordy, I wish I hadn't linked there just now), which equate to a small meal, and the second being cost. We're talking around $4.35 each. Not to mention I've usually got at least one kid in the car with me, so there's an extra $1.50 each for a Vanilla Milk.

2. When I outlast Andy emptying the trash.
Andy has garbage detail. I handle almost all other internal cleaning, bed making, etc. Usually, Andy will take a look-see in the morning before work and take it out if the bag is almost full. Some days, he forgets. On these occasions (for the most part), I can fit a day's worth of garbage into the remaining 1/2 inch of available space. This is truly a guilty pleasure because I do feel bad about doing it but I also find satisfaction in waiting him out.

3. I can't believe I'm writing this for the world to see but...Romance Novels.
The really cheesy Harlequin Romance variety that you can buy at Stop and Shop. I like to say that it's because my mind is so busy elsewhere that I need to read something besides magazines but not something I have to work at. Yeah, that's the ticket.

4. 70s Music
This is where KC's list comes into play. I too have no shame. I realized this driving around 80 mph with all the windows open listening to...my John Denver CD and screaming along with the lyrics.

5. Pedicures
I'd say on average I've gotten a pedi every 3-4 weeks for the past 12 years. A few years back, I brought my then 10-year-old niece for her first pedi. An older woman at the shop commented on it and I told her it was indoctrination. I went on to say out loud that my own husband doesn't find it in the least odd that I don't cut my own toenails.

6. US Weekly/People Magazine
You know what they say; the first one's free. I used to travel a lot for work and buy them at the airport. Then I bought them when I was in the long checkout lines at Stop and Shop. I have no more excuses. I read them. I've never seen an episode of The Hills/Gossip Girl/The Kardashians (sp?) but I know about their stars from reading these rags.

7. Mommy Popsicles
I live on a cul-de-sac with ten houses and a seven kids ages five and under. As a result from the time the snow melts in the spring until it starts again in the late fall, we're outside playing. The reality is that it's also somewhat wearing to police a group of pre-schoolers intent on rolling the Cozy Coupe down a steep driveway, running through the non-child-bearing neighbors' gardens, drawing on our cars with chalk, etc. (I know; boo-hoo. I don't feel sorry for me either). So some afternoons, my fellow SAHM and I will break out the Corona Lites. Suddenly, it's 6:20, Andy's pulling up in front of the house, and the closest I've come to dinner is slicing a lime.

8. NPR - National Public Radio
I love it. I've been listening for years. My absolute favorites are Talk of the Nation/Science Friday and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. When RC recently gave up napping and I began the Snooze Cruise, I confessed to my friend that I was very excited to be spending time with my brainy, liberal lover again.

9. Weddings
I don't know if this qualifies as a guilty pleasure or just odd. I always give a nice gift and am very social. I like dancing a. lot. Particularly if I've had a cocktail or five two. And during these dance marathons, should a song like say, I Will Survive (no hyperlink necessary here) comes on, I'm acting it out in full histrionic gyration. And I'm probably taking you with me.

10. Blogging
Shocking, given my "phone-it-in" status of late but this is definitely a pleasure for me. The guilt comes into play when I neglect the little things in life (children, food, housework) in favor of reading and writing the minutia of everyday life.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

My friend JCK over at Motherscribe (check out her sassy new look) has tagged me for the six word memoir meme.

Though JCK describes it not, Holly at June Cleaver Nirvana, JCK's tagger, describes the task thusly: Sum up my life in six words. No more, no less. The loophole is you can write as many of these six word sentences as you want.

Brown Eyed Girl; Bleary Eyed Mom

No Freudian Slip Here; I Fall

One Size Does Not Fit All

Counting My Blessings, Every Single Day

Some Nice Girls Do Finish First

Don't Put That In Your Mouth

Young Women Want What I Have

Don't Call It Paranoia; It's Intuition

One Brain Cell at a Time

May I See the Dessert Menu?

Do Not Try This at Home

Survived my 20s to be Happy.

Keep Me Sane; Make Me Crazy

Warning: this exercise can be addictive. You think in six word sentences. (See what I did just there?)

I'm tagging Jennifer at Thursday Drive because I can't wait to see her words everyday.

My buddy, Denise at real. life. ramblings. because I heard Hey There Delilah on the radio and thought of her (cause I first heard it on her site).

And Phoenix because we tag each other.

Movie Meme

This meme has been floating around the blogisphere for a little while. I took up the gauntlet thrown down by Jenn over at Juggling Life. I don't know if she coined this particular phrasing but the use of the word behold makes me smile.

Behold, the rules:
- Pick fifteen of your favorite movies.
- Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
- Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
- Fill in the film title once it's guessed.

This part is for the reader
- No Googling or using IMDB search functions.
- Leave your answer(s) in the comments.

And away, we go:


Movie 1:
- Will you have me, lady?
- No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days. Your grace is too costly to wear everyday. But I beseech your Grace to pardon me; for I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
- Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.
- No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born...
Much Ado About Nothing (Andy and Manic Little Sister)

Movie 2:
- How long was it we had, honey?
- I didn't count the days.
- Well, I did. Every one of 'em. Mostly I remember the last one. The wild finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain with a comical look in his face because his insides have been kicked out.
Casablanca (Karen at The More, the Messier)

Movie 3:
- Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... and what the hell is that smell? I could've been at a barbecue! But I ain't mad.
Independence Day (Andy, Manic Little Sister, and Denise at real. life. ramblings.)

Movie 4:
- That's it? Some faceless guy rips off all your clothes, and THAT'S the sex fantasy you've been having since you were twelve?
- Well sometimes I vary it a little.
- Which part?
- What I'm wearing.
When Harry Met Sally (Jen at Monkey Planet)

Movie 5:
- It's out of control, and it's coming your way. You got about fifteen minutes. Now, they wanna try somethin'. They wanna blow those water tanks two floors above you. They think it might kill the fire.
- How're they gonna get the explosives up here?
- Oh, they'll find some dumb son of a bitch to bring it up.
The Towering Inferno (yeah, ~Denise! from real. life. ramblings. got the last one! Well played!)


Movie 6:
- What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced on me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hope. I have endured her exultations again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you.
Sense and Sensibility (Jen at Monkey Planet)

Movie 7:
- You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
- A hospital? What is it?
- It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Airplane (Jenn at Juggling Life)

Movie 8:
- What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
- I can add.
- Jack, they've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
- Houston says we're right on the money.
- And what if they had made a mistake, all right? And there was no way to reverse it, you think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us!
- What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
- All right, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
Apollo 13 (Jenn at Juggling Life)

Movie 9:
- Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Auntie Jen - good second effort. Honorable Mention to JCK, our Motherscribe who identified her boyfriend, The Viggo)

Movie 10:
- Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.
The Princess Bride (Jenn at Juggling Life)

Movie 11:
- Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle.
- Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store!
- They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.
A Christmas Story (Jenn at Juggling Life)

Movie 12:
- Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.
Jaws (Jenn at Juggling Life)

Movie 13:
- You're a thief and a liar.
- I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
- Steal?
- Lie.
- I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Ocean's 11 (Kristi)

Movie 14:
- We have pictures of you so-called mooners. And just because the pictures aren't of your faces doesn't mean we can't identify you. At this very moment those pictures are on their way to Washington where the FBI has experts in this type of identification. If you turn yourselves in now, you may escape a Federal charge.
Grease (Manic Little Sister)

Movie 15:
- There I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole life I realised I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn't the person next to me in the veil. It's the person standing opposite me now... in the rain.
- Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed.
Four Weddings and a Funeral (Jen at Monkey Planet)

Like Jenn, I won't tag anyone but consider playing. The research alone is so much fun you'll want to go re-watch all your movies.


Only two more to go! Andy guessed them but didn't post a comment so they're still fair game. And my little sister was wrong and boy is she going to be pissed.

iPod Meme

Phoenix over at Phoenix Says Stuff did this meme way back on January 13th and I thought it was so cool that I finally remembered a month and a half later to post my own. BTW, P? As a personal favor, could you please post your labels so I don't need to just keep hitting "older post" to find this thing?

Phoenix also reported on the style of her style iPod so I figured I should as well. It's a Mini and it's green, which is my favorite color, and Andy bought it for me when I was trying running 2 1/2 years ago. I think I ran with it twice. I hate running. I like yoga.

This is the iPod Meme. In the interest of full disclsure, I should mention that my much more technically savvy brother loaded my iPod for me (from my own collection of course) with a heavy Jimmy Buffett influence. Given the law of averages, JB was bound to show up quite a bit.

Anyway, the rules are simple: Hit shuffle on your iPod then answer each question by hitting next.

Q: What does next year have in store for you.
A: Halleluja, I Love Her So by Ray Charles

Q: What does your love life look like next year?

A: A Love Song from a Different Point of View (more commonly referred to as Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw) by Jimmy Buffett (I DID NOT cheat!)

Q: What do you say when life gets hard?

A: Burn that Bridge by Jimmy Buffett

Q: Song that reminds you of good times?

A: Boogie on Reggae Woman by Stevie Wonder

Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?

A: Lonesome Day by Bruce Springsteen

Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding?

A: Aint No Sunshine by Eva Cassidy (Actually, we danced to You Belong to Me by Patsy Cline)

Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?

A: Natives are Restless by Jimmy Buffett

Q: Your favorite saying?

A: Milk and Honey Days by Tim Gearan

Q: Favorite place?

A: Last Mango in Paris by Jimmy Buffett

Q: Most Missed Memory?

A: Chewin' Gum by Ella Fitzgerald

Q: What song describes your best friend?

A: I Wish by Stevie Wonder

Q: What song describes your ex?

A: It's All Understood by Jack Johnson

Q: Where would you go on a first date?

A: I'll be Home for Christmas by Jimmy Buffett

Q: Drug of choice?

A: It's Still Rock and Roll to Me by Billy Joel

Q: What song describes yourself?

A: Taxman by The Beatles

Q: What is the thing you like doing most?

A: Here We Go Again by Ray Charles

Q: The song that best describes the president?

A: Rock and Roll Music by The Beatles (If I were going to cheat, it would have been here)

Q: Where will you be in 10 years?

A: Cry by Ray Charles (that's not good)

Q: Your love life right now?

A: Paper Tiger by Beck

Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?

A: Frozen Man by James Taylor

Q: How will you die?

A: The News by Jack Johnson

Andy's Seven Things Meme

My friend, Sarah over at Slouching Past 40 targeted hand-picked me for this meme. Like her, I've done a few iterations myself and was really scraping the bottom of the barrel when I came up with the idea of doing a heme. I'm writing seven random facts about my husband.

1. Andy was an engineer in the merchant marines before going back to school for his post-grad. He once called me from England and mentioned that they'd collided with another ship and were awaiting repairs. He then didn't call me again until he was back on this side of the pond.

2. Andy is a great teacher. He has an amazing ability to isolate movement to make you understand what he's trying to teach. He taught me how to play a decent game of golf and is working on making me a better skier.

3. Andy's been skiing since he was about 4-years-old. When he was 8, he broke his leg, spinning it 360 degrees so his foot faced forward again. His 17-year-old sister performed an open field retraction (spun it back around) right there on the mountain. The surgeons said her actions saved him an operation. Andy's dad had his skiing again by Spring. After all, he'd bought him a non-refundable season pass.

4. Andy's all time favorite movie is Jaws. He can recite every line and will often throw a line of Jaws dialogue into any conversation. Our boat is named That Kintner Boy after the kid that got eaten by the shark.

5. Andy could be an historian. He lives for The History Channel and has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of several American wars. I can easily see him teaching when he retires. One of our dream vacation destinations is Normandy, France.

6. When we were dating, Andy introduced me to the gin and tonic. I tasted his one night at a restaurant and the next day, I came home from work to find him on my porch with a 'starter kit;' A bottle of Tanqueray, two liters of tonic water, and a few limes. We drank G&Ts all summer long.

7. Andy took a vacation day today because the boys were starting to feel better just as I'm starting to feel worse. There was blood in the water and the boys could smell it. Andy could too and so he took the day so I could have a day of R and R for myself. I think it worked too because although I don't feel 100%, I don't think I'm gonna be nearly as ill as the boys were (knocks wood).

Wow! That was so much easier than talking about myself. And because no good deed goes unpunished, I'm tagging the last few people who offered their advice and sympathies to my ill little family. Please don't stop commenting!

Our very own Suburban Correspondent from The More the Messier.
My new friend, Jenn at Juggling Life.
And JCK, the Motherscribe, who writes her life in poetry.

Inside the Over-Reactor's Studio

Guys, this was so fun. Thanks for coming through for me. And the Oscar goes to...

Phoenix wanted to know...

1. Favorite Book of all time?
Such a hard question. Recently? I've read all the Harry Potters with varying degrees of enjoyment but most enjoy sharing the thoughts, and ideas, and messages with my nieces. I liked DaVinci Code by liked Angels and Demons much better. I was thinking about all the Judy Blumes that I read as an adolescent and how really, really great they were.

Then I came up with Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. It was assigned reading my sophomore year in high school and it's stayed with me to this day. It's a sort of pre-Orwellian look at the future in an engineered society but with British humor and insight.

2. What the heck are your kids names?
HRH is His Royal Highness. That pseudonym was easy because he was the first grandchild born on Andy's side of the family who actually lived in this state. He is the second coming in the eyes of my MIL and SIL. Not such a bad thing. Except when he starts to believe his own press - or worse, when I do. RC is for Roger Clemens. Because he throws. EVERYTHING. I would have used Monkey but it was already taken. I think about changing RC's pseudonym but then find myself using it in emails to people I know IRL.

3. What made you want to blog?
Desperation. I stopped working (for money) in October of 2006. By March I was going insane. I joined the gym for sanity and yoga. One day, HRH had a complete meltdown in the parking lot of the gym and I found myself yelling back like a four-year-old; "It's not fair!" and I realized I needed to find a few like-minded people to rant to and have rant back. I think it's worked out pretty well.

4. How did you meet your husband?
Andy's version is that we met at Hooters. Anyone who has seen me and my girls knows this is not true. We were a set up. I was headed into town with my girlfriends and a friend at work told me to come to this bar where her friend's band was playing. Her husband is Andy's cousin, who had also been told to 'come hear the band'. The best part is that RJ Fitz, the bar in Boston where we met, was actually bought out by Hooters.

merlotmom asks...
5. If your husband gave you permission to sleep with one person, just once, of course, who would it be?
Not a second of hesitation or forethought needed because he knows and I have a list. Number one is Kevin Bacon. I loved him in Footloose and every movie since. He works for me. Big. Time. Like Bossy and John Cusak without The Thompson Twins playing in the background.

I loved this question and often ask it of others. Andy's number one is Salma Hayek.

slouching mom said...
6. How does your husband feel about your blogging?

He views it as a necessary evil. Kind of like antibiotics. He recognizes the value of my being able to relate to others even if he can't totally understand it. He likes my stories and likes the way I write, so that's a bonus. He definitely keeps the safety of our family at the forefront of his mind.

***as I was finishing up this post, Andy opened the door and said "you're not going to answer the names question, are you?" ***

Jen said...
7. Who's your favorite neighbor?

Yes, those Cheeky Little Monkeys are my neighbors. And they are the best you could ask for. We're thinking of taking them with us when we move. But don't worry, New Girl. She doesn't know my real name either.

8. What do you miss most about "life before kids"?

SLEEP. Actually, I miss just hanging out with my husband. We used to call each other at the end of the work day and decide if we were headed home or headed straight to our bar (where everyone knows your name) and meet up with all our other DINK friends.

And speak of the devil, the new girl asks...
9. What really scares you?

I guess you need to define 'really.' I'm terrified of centipedes, I don't like torture porn, and I'm medium-claustrophobic but what *really* scares me, is anything happening to my kids. Especially if it were in my presence and outside of my control. We couldn't even keep watching Syriana after Matt Damon's son dies. Thank you for getting all morbid on me. :-)~

JCK wanted to know...
10. Do you blog at the same time every day or at different times?

It's funny you ask this because I have noticed that most of us do it after 8:00 pm ET. I'm thinking bed time? Anyone?

I kind of have a pattern; I wake up, quickly check emails and blogs while getting the kids ready for the day, check/read/possibly write while RC is down for his nap, provided HRH is otherwise happy and engaged. Lastly, I check in post-kids' bedtime. Andy and I wrangle for computer time as we only have one currently working.

Mimi cracked me up with...
11. I don't know you at all: sum it up on one sentence?

Insecure, 39-year-old SAHM still waiting to feel like a grownup, with two brilliant, infuriating preschoolers, married to a man I like and love and deciding whether or not to 'go for the girl' before the timer runs out.

There you have it; in one big fat, run-on sentence.

ImpostorMom said...
12. What is the thing you like to do most with "you" time?

I really enjoy yoga. It relaxes and rejuvenates me. I would also like to look into meditation learn more about wine.

sue asked...
13. If you could go back to one moment in time and change it, what would the moment be and how would you change it?

October, 1989. I would un-meet Scott.

JCK said...
O.K., I have another one. How did you get so damn funny? Your comment about Sawyer on my blog made me almost pee my pants. I agree!!

I'm not going to answer this. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear that at least one other person in the blogisphere gets my sense of humor. Thank you JCK, clearly you rock.

Ask Wifey said...
14. I love your "Mommy's Time Out" wine bottle. Which do you prefer - white or red?

Oh, I'm an equal opportunity Whino. I've been on reds for a few years now. I love Pinot Noir, Merlot, Cabernet, and Andy and I brought home 11 bottles of Chianti from our honeymoon in Italy. That being said, I love freezing cold Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio in the summer and found an absolutely wonderful Chablis through a local wine store.

KC's question was...
15. If you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it?

SLEEPING. God, I fear this is true. Either that or I'd probably use it for another thankless, endless endeavor like folding clothes or cleaning. If it were a guilt-free enriching hour, see question 12. The idea of attending a wine course holds a lot of appeal as does working on 'me.'


Thank you again for not making me feel like a fool with no questions. The only thing I'd add is how fun and funny it is to relate your stories to other people and phrase it as, "my friend" did or said this...I've achieved what I wanted to in blogging; realizing that while I'm unique, there are a lot of us out there.

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

Right now, I feel like Drew Barrymore at the end of Never Been Kissed, alone on the pitcher's mound, waiting for Michael Vartan to come and rescue her from eternal embarassment.

Let me back up a step. We all try to remain somewhat incognito while sharing our most self absorbed innermost thoughts. But it's just what I've wanted you to know, you know? The New Girl, stole homaged a post from Mimi, who copied it from Beck. The idea was "Are there any questions?". So I'm putting myself out there, like Drew, hoping you're interested enough to ask me anything about me.

I'm putting myself out there for you, New Girl. Don't leave me hangin'.

It Came Around to Me

My friend, Kristen at Mommy Needs a Cocktail, also at Mommy Needs a Review, also at Baby Brewing (why yes, she is quite prolific) tagged me for this meme.

The rules are as follows: (1)Link to the person that tagged you. (2)Post the rules on your blog. (3)Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (4)Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (5)Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. [I feel like there should be six rules].

A meaningless unnerving entertaining view into the Manic Mommy Psyche:

1. Anthropomorphism in cartoons fascinates me. Why does Diego rescue animals, yet Boots' father is an architect? The Berenstain Bears have a pet dog - how does that work?

2. I am a space geek. I can recite every word in Apollo 13 and have the From the Earth to the Moon Box Set. In college, I took Astronomy I and II for my Physics requirement. I will watch any space documentary on The History Channel, The Science Channel, NOVA, The Discovery Channel, etc.

3. I love disaster movies. My all time favorite is The Towering Inferno but also love Independence Day. I saw both Dante's Peak and Volcano at the movies.

4. I We paid off my truck loan today - over a year early. Time to trade it in (just kidding, Andy).

5. I have a freakish memory for trivia. So much so that I am teaming with my 12 and 8 year old nieces in a competition at their school during Catholic Schools Week. I guess we'll see if I really am smarter than a 5th grader.

6. I used to be very organized. I still try with varying degrees of success. I have most of the boys' toys in 12x12 bins from Target. Each with printed labels with a picture of the item(s) and their name (e.g., Fisher Price Little People) afixed to the outside. Don't be impressed, it doesn't work.


Now to share the horror. I am tagging Denise at real. life. ramblings. because I think she and I were separated at birth. I'm tagging Merlot Mom because I think she and I could sit down and have a glass of wine together. I'm tagging Jen because I've had many, many glasses of wine with her. Helena gets it because I envy her creativity and her taste in wine. I'm sending this to Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood because it's fun to think we might actually meet over a glass of wine when Bossy comes to town on her roadtrip. And last, I tag Bossy because she is my idol and because if I'm going to assume her identity one day, I need to know the minutia too. I will buy her the wine.

My Top 10 - The Unexpected Meme

While there is almost nothing I would change about my life right now, I recently read a question that's had me remembering fondly. The question was "What did you love most about being single?" Here's what I came up with in no particular order.

1. Living alone for five years. You really get to be best friends with your roommate. Actually, the next three are variations of a theme.
2. My apartment. Four sunny, big rooms in a great college area, in a house owned by an elderly couple much more interested in a good tenant than a good rent. Hey! That's me! I paid $450.00 a month -- including heat (for anyone reading this outside of the Northeast, this. is. unheard-of.) .
3. Having a bathroom all to myself - and never shutting the door.
4. Wherever I left something, that's where it was when I went looking for it.
5. Buying a brand new car without consulting anyone because I knew more about the subject than any of the men in my life at the time.
6. Having the time to read a lot and take classes because the topics interested me.
7. Spending far too much money on clothes or shoes, all for me.
8. Sleeping 12 hours a night (or sometimes four, if I was having fun).
9. Traveling so much for work that I saw some great places but none I liked enough to leave where I grew up.
10. Meeting Andy and falling in love.

So what did/do you love most about being single? Helena promised to blog more in '08, so we'll tag her, as well as the estimable, Mrs. Chicky.

Underrated Pleasures

An unexpected meme created by Bub and Pie, propagated by The New Girl, and further purloined by Rose, and now me:

Clean Sheets
Slipping into bed at night after changing the sheets that day. No wrinkles, hospital corners still intact. Bounce smell still fresh.

A New Box of Crayons
We've been doing a lot more coloring lately. It's fantastic stress relief. I prefer coloring books, myself as they are even further down on the stress-meter; you don't even have to think about what to draw. And the best part is having a fresh box of Crayolas with nice sharp tips.

Hot Cocoa Tea Parties
During RC's naps, HRH and I will often sit at the table with mugs of hot chocolate and a little cup of mini-marshmallows between us to share. He eats them; I put them in the cocoa. I buy the cocoa without the marshmallows already in. It's better that way.

Clean Boys After a Bath Smell
Especially in feety pajamas. You've got to sniff their hair while you give them a hug.

Foot Rubs
Especially unsolicited. Best of all over a glass of wine, while we're having a nice, uninterrupted conversation. Also good while sitting on the couch watching TV.

The First Sip of Tea in the Morning
The caffeine travels so fast to my never endings and makes me sigh in pleasure.

Having Someone Else Wash your Hair at the Salon
It's decadent. If they do it right, it gives me chills.

Cleared, Clean, Countertops
'Nuff said.

Helena's Meme

My friend, Helena over at Eleni received a tag that she passed on to me back in the middle of September. It’s harder than you’d think – especially with a long name – so I’m just getting to it now. Yeah, that's the reason.

The rules are that I must spell my first name and give a little juicy tidbit about me.

Curls – What’s the opposite of poker straight hair? Is it prostitute kinky? If so, that’s me. My mom tells stories of trying in vain to get a brush through my hair as a child. During my pregnancy with RC, my hair went oddly straight in strange areas. After he was born, I relied on a straightening iron that fried my hair to the point of severe damage. After over a year of significant therapy (my hair, not me) and expensive products, I’m back to curly and more grateful this time around.

Hats – I have a good head for hats. I loves me a good straw hat in the summer and have several warm bucket hats for winter where the brim curls up all the way around.

Rugs – We buy disposable ones. It started off accidentally. I couldn’t find a pattern to go with my tapestry patterned living room furniture, so we bought an off-white Berber bound remnant for about $100.00 at Building 19. Add two kids and one incontinent dog and we figure we go through about two to three a year. Multiplied over 7 years, we could have a cheap Oriental by now. But what would we do with the mud, and the pee, and the chocolate milk, and the jelly? File this under“we’ll have nice things when we get old.”

Insecure – I am. Big time. Always have been. Next?

Street – I have the best neighborhood in the world. Think the Backyardigans only with everyone in the front. We live on a tiny cul-de-sac of ten houses (the 1930s version of a subdivision). There are seven kids under 5 and four more tween/teens (aka budding babysitters). We sit on porch steps and have a beer on summer evenings, order pizza for the street, and watch each other’s kids. Whenever Andy and I talk about moving to a bigger house, the first thing I think about is how much I’d hate leaving this place.

Tea – Whenever we’d go over to my Gram’s house (my mother’s mother), we’d always head straight for the kitchen and cup of tea with something sweet; usually a chocolate roll from the day old bakery. The last of the lace curtain Irish. Back then it was Red Rose. Now it’s got to be Twinnings English Breakfast. Prepared according to my specific OCD method: Tea water must be piping hot from the kettle, never microwaved (it fizzes), it is then poured into an oversized ceramic mug, where the string from the tea bag is wrapped around the handle so as to prevent the bag from falling in. Steeping time varies but should be around 5 minutes. Once the tea bag is removed, two teaspoons of sugar are added (according to size of oversized mug). Once the sugar has fully dissolved, milk may be added. Sip while hot, not scalding. Reheated microwaved tea has become a necessary evil but is far from preferred.

India – While working at a Catholic hospital managing employee health, my mom struck up a friendship with a young Indian priest, who lost his own mother at the age of 8. They are extremely close with Mathew calling my mom “Amma”, the Malayalam (Indian dialect) name for Mother. My mom is returning to India for the fourth time on the day after Thanksgiving. Mathew is now the director of an English school there and when my mom arrives, she is treated like a visiting dignitary. It’s not too much of a stretch to picture my mom spending part of her retirement volunteering at a hospice six months a year in Kerala, India.

New – As in you learn something new everyday. I was at Stop and Shop this afternoon WITHOUT CHILDREN. So of course I noticed everybody else’s little angels. There was a mom with a daughter around the same age as RC in the cart discussing why they didn’t need to buy three jars of peanut butter, which certainly familiar enough. Then the mom began reading the label to her daughter; “hmm, low sodium, high protein, fat’s okay, too. Okay, Sweetie, lets get just one.” How great was that? I’m really good at “No. That’s not healthy.” But to introduce them to that level of nutrition as part of the normal babble of daily chores was something I hadn’t considered. Now I will.

Empty – Nothing like going out on a low note but that’s my brain right now.

But check out Helena's site - she's a bag designer and her stuff is *to die for*
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Hey! I've made another wardrobe change. You know you're thinking it; "Ugh white after Labor Day! And with her coloring? What was she thinking?" But I really liked the masthead. I know; it's like buying shoes that don't match anything. We'll see what I can do to accessorize.

Meme ~ What's in a Name?

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At the suggestion of Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored, I've gone pink for the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I do this with fond thoughts and memories of my cousin, Elle, who lost her fight two years ago last month.

Now back to our regularly scheduled...whatever it is I do here...

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Here's a meme that Phoenix stole from somewhere. I liked it, so I'm re-stealing it. Like her, I'm using my Bloggy pseudonym in place of my real name.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car):
Tabitha Trailblazer (that's kind of cool...but wait 'til you get to the tour...)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Pistachio Sandy (less cool)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) M-Mom (really lame)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Cat (dumb, but really, I blame the question)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Mary Brighton (sounds right)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Mom-Ma (most lame)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Blue Margarita (now we're talkin')

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
William William (can I go with Bill William?)

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Happy Kisses (as in Hersheys)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Ellen Louis (uh, sure)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Nilus New Orleans (actually, I went to Catholic school and my fifth grade teacher was Sister Nilus. If you asked, I'd have to tell you her first name was 'sister.' )

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Summer Iris (I like it, I really like it!)

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)Honeydew Khaki (no comment either way)

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Pumpkin Muffin Evergreen (In 1968? I could see it)

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Home Improvement Thunderstorm Tour (Not even my mother would go)

Second Base

"Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in? Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?" - Bender to Claire in The Breakfast Club

You and I have been together for nearly a month now and I think it's time we take this thing to second base. Here are ten things about me that you don't know:

1. I am enrolled as a bone marrow donor and have been for about 15 years. I even got called once to go to the next round of testing. Unfortunately, I wasn't a close enough match.
   


2. Although I am no cook, I make great chicken soup from scratch. Despite being half Italian, I can't make sauce (gravy) to save my soul.
   


3. After next Sunday, I will have been to see Jimmy Buffet in concert each year for the past 10 years.
   


4. I am terrified of bugs.
   


5. I have claustrophobia, not so much that I can't get on an elevator but if I'm crowded in, I'll have little palpatations. I take the stairs when I can.
   


6. I can touch my nose with my tongue.
   


7. I am the second girl in a family of three girls and one boy.
   


8. I was involved in an accident while test driving a 1996 VW Jetta. (I decided against buying the car.)
   


9. I have a very good eye for color and design, that I inherited from my father, a contractor. At the time of his death in January, I hadn't spoken to him in about four years.
   


10. I am a Trivial Pursuit savant. I remember the most ridiculous details about people, places, and events but frequently forget where my keys and cell phone are.

And now, Helena, it's time to return the favor.