The Hardest Part is the Chopping

It's pretty well documented in the annals of this blog that I am not a cook.  However the one area in which I excel is appetizers.  I recently made this one for our annual Jimmy Buffett pilgrimage.  I think it may be the perfect recipe for hot weather snacking.

Greek-ish Seven Layer Dip

Ingredients:
~ 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
~ 1 Tbsp. lemon juice
~ 1 tsp. dried Italian seasoning
~ 3 cloves garlic, minced
~ 1-1/2 cups prepared hummus
~ 1 cup chopped cucumber
~ 1 cup chopped tomato
~ 1 cup chopped pitted Kalamata olives (I hate olives so I only added it to one side of the dip)
~ 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
~ 1/3 cup sliced green onions
~ Pita chips

Directions:
~ In medium mixing bowl beat cream cheese, lemon juice, Italian seasoning, and garlic with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and combined.
~ Spread cream cheese mixture into a deep 9-inch pie plate, or shallow serving dish.
~ Evenly spread hummus on cream cheese layer.
~ Top with cucumber, tomato, olives, feta cheese, and green onions.
~ Cover and refrigerate 2 to 24 hours.
~ Serve with pita chips

Makes about 2-1/2 cups dip


Shout out to my neighbor, Jen's "Auntie" Barbara who brought this deliciousness to a birthday party a while back and to Better Homes and Gardens, I guess because they published it.

The Answer

It was a cheese sandwich, on whole grain, with mayo. Not grilled.

In restrospect, I can't say I blame him.


[This entire paragraph naming the six items he will eat without complaint has been redacted in an attempt to make myself look less self-critical than I actually am.]

Pheromone Phriday

There's a hot guy in yoga class and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I mean, on the one hand THERE'S A HOT GUY IN YOGA CLASS! He's got a sort of Taye Diggs quality about him although not quite as buff (few are). Did I mention he groans and breathes heavily when he's working a posture? He's friendly, complimentary of our work, and earnestly trying. And two weeks in a row, he's parked his mat next to mine!

On the other hand, he's changing the atmosphere of the class. The Friday class is made up of women like me, a few older women, and like one guy there with his pregnant wife. Yoga is one of the few places I go where I don't think about how I look. I'm going there to improve my body and calm my mind. Now suddenly, I'm wondering about or worse yet, checking out my ass as I move through Warrior II into Extended Side Angle.

The thing is I'm not the only one acting like a sophomore trying to be cool in front of the captain of the football team. Class regular, Liz is sidling up to a stretched-out Taye before class and providing him with a demonstration of how he might better work his downward dog. Mmm Hmm. And Lisa, our bookish, sweet instructor is suddenly spending juuuust a leettle more time with him "may I assist you?" she asks. But that's not what I see in her eyes.

So. What to do? I suppose I'll look on it as a positive. Skipping Friday yoga won't be quite as attractive as it's been at times. I really needed some cute new yoga clothes. And we'll find out if sweatproof makeup lives up to the hype.

Namaste.

Ice Cream Anyone?

Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. For George W. they they asked for suggestions from the public. Here are some of their favorite responses:

- Grape Depression

- The Housing Crunch

- Abu Grape

- Cluster Fudge

- Nut'n Accomplished

- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker... Swirl

- Iraqi Road

- Chock 'n Awe

- WireTapioca

- Impeach Cobbler

- Guantanmallow

- imPeachmint

- Heck of a Job, Brownie!

- Neocon Politan

- RockyRoad to Fascism

- The Reese's-cession

- Cookie D'oh!

- Nougalar Proliferation

- Death by Chocolate... and Torture

- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream

- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder

- Credit Crunch

- Mission Pecanplished

- Country Pumpkin

- Chunky Monkey in Chief

- WMDelicious

- Chocolate Chimp

- Bloody Sundae

- Caramel Preemptive Stripe

- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts

And my own personal submission: I scream, you scream. We all scream when we're being water boarded.

* from an email I received from my friend, Kelli. I Googled it but can't find the original source. Not on Ben and Jerry's website.

Another Reason, Another Season...

For Makin' Cookies

Happy Valentines Day, Peeps!

Nutrisystem By the Numbers

Days on Nutrisystem: 21

Nutrisystem meals eaten: 61*

Number of spinach salads eaten: 42

Most surprisingly good Nutrisystem entree: tie: Chicken Salad and Cajun Chicken and Rice

Number of Nutrisystem entrees that smell like dogfood: 1 (Homestyle Beef and Gravy - eww)

Number of Nutrisystem "suggested" entrees most likely to be donated to a food pantry: 1 (Split Pea Soup - double eww)

Total ounces of water consumed: 1,344
% increase: 200%

Total trips to the ladies room: Incalculable

Total Glasses of Wine Consumed: 4*
% decrease: 73%

Total Starbucks Venti Chai's Consumed: 3
% decrease: 86%

Estimated number of vices remaining: 3

Number of yoga classes attended during first two weeks of program: 0

Number of yoga classes attended in third week of program: 4

Total Weight Lost: 7.5 lbs

Average cost per pound lost: $29.90

Average pounds lost per day: 0.36 lbs

Number of days until Disney World trip: 26

Do's and Don't's When Attempting to Adhere To a Strict Diet

1. Get off the mall elevator in front of the Lindt Chocolate store - Don't
   
2. Make your boys extra chocolatey hot chocolate with mini marshmallows - Don't
   
3. Serve only food you don't really anyway for dinner for your family - Do
   
4. Get the boy McDonalds on your way home to eat a delicious NutriSystem lunch - Don't
   
5. Purchase seasonal candles in any of the following fragrances: Egg Nog, Christmas Cookies, Cinnamon and Sugar - Don't
   + Alternate suggestions would be Balsam, Cedar, Tripe, and Morning Breath
   
6. Eat your afternoon snack allotment of 15 grapes (it's a full serving why are you still hungry damn it!) near your grape-loving boy - Don't
   
7. Consider at least twice daily infusions of English Breakfast Tea (and the glorious caffeine contained within) to be necessary for the well-being of your family - DO
   
8. Re-route all travel to avoid all known Starbucks locations - most especially the drive thru - Do
   
9. Recognize that 64 ounces of water is about 59 ounces more than you typically drink in a given day - Do
   
10. Calculate the nearest restroom in any given destination immediately upon entering - Do
    
11. Convince yourself that eating frozen pancakes, dinosaur chicken, and spaghetti with butter and salt for a month straight will not stunt your children's growth - Do
    + (Bonus: Dinner Hero status from aforementioned children).
    
12. Notice the aroma of sweetness coming from the discarded M&Ms on the floor of the backseat - Don't
    
13. Remind yourself you need to fit into your summer clothes in less than two months - Do
    
14. Try on said summer clothes to put an exclamation point on your good intentions - DON'T
    + It's just too depressing.
    
15. Start a strict diet ten days before Christmas - Don't

WTF Wednesday

At times, there really are no words.

Do You Recognize This Face?

Dear Boys:

Do you know who this is?

It's Mommy. No, really. It is Mommy.

This weekend, while you were making gingerbread men and reading "Gingerbread Friends" with Gram, Daddy and I found our smiles.

We went to a special place in the sky called The Mount Washington Hotel. Just Mom and Dad. No, just Christine and Andy.

We didn't bring the 20-minute conference calls that morph into 2 1/2 hours, or the possibly-totaled Trailblazer, or even the kindergarten transition anxiety (Mommy's, not yours, HRH). We even left the wifi, the Vice Presidential debate, and the $700 billion bail out package at home. We knew it would all be here when we got home -- and it was.

Rather, we slept, and read, and ate, and drank, and talked, and lived.

Mom and Dad LOVE being your parents. There is nothing more important to us than doing that well. But we have been neglecting Andy and Christine lately. And it's shown. In the way we behave toward each other and the two of you. And certainly in the way we treat ourselves. This weekend, while we were here, we remembered to be kind to ourselves. And we remembered our smiles.

I hope we'll be seeing them a lot more.

Oh, The Heart-Stopping Goodness

Artichoke~Cheese Dip

~ 1 small jar artichoke hearts
~ 1 16 oz container sour cream (I use light)
~ 2 cups shredded cheddar
~ 1 brick cream cheese
~ 1/2 cup shredded parmesan
~ freshly ground pepper to taste
~ 1 medium to large loaf round bread, any type (I prefer sour dough)
~ 1 loaf French bread


~warm refrigerated cream cheese in microwave for one minute, in medium mixing bowl
~finely chop artichoke hearts and add to softened cream cheese
~add all other ingredients and mix well with mixer (explain when son asks what mixer is)
~pour into hollowed out bread bowl and replace "cover"
~wrap bowl in aluminum foil and place on cookie sheet
~cook in preheated 375 degree oven for 1 hour

~serve with cubed french bread and this

For Nancy, who asked for the recipe. I could eat this stuff for dinner.

Potty Mouth

Psst, Clorox:

Wanna make a mint? Invent a non-toxic, drinkable bleach product. And here's why:

Item 1: We are at my sister's house and RC has just completed his first successful peep of the new potty-training season. Manic Mommy is at the sink washing her hands after assisting with said endeavor. RC spies the plunger parked next to Auntie's toilet. Before MM can reach him/screech loud enough to wake the dead, RC has upended the plumber's helper and licks. it. Various washing and rinsing ensues. But where's the bleach?

Item 2: First Day of preschool. Andy has taken the day off to accompany RC to orientation while MM attends HRH's Welcome Mass. After we pick up HRH, we take the boys to Friendly's for an ice cream. Except for RC, we each order what turns out to be a pretty meager portion and consequently begin taking little bites from RC's massive make-your-own-sundae.

It is with the taste of hot fudge and Reeses Pieces still upon my tongue that Andy suddenly remembers the men's room incident that had taken place not ten minutes earlier:

RC is standing in front of the toilet having already fondled caressed lifted the toilet seat and is attempting to simultaneously hold the seat up, keep his shirt tucked under his chin, and aim. He is one hand short, and so, he leans forward and places the edge of the toilet seat between his lips to hold it up and proceeds to urinate.

Andy acted fast but of course, the damage was already done. He proceeded to make RC rinse his mouth out and wash his face/lips/hands with Friendly soap. But again, where's the bleach?

Did I mention that I was eating RC's ice cream as the story unfolded? What's a mom to do? I buy fluoride-free toothpaste for him because that's dangerous if ingested. How about the most germ-laden surfaces know to mom?

Please tell me your worst. Am I the only mother with a really, gross little kid?Let me know that his immune system is strong enough to handle it - and that it. will. stop.

Sincerely,

Manic Germaphobe Mommy

Hotties Through the Years: Volume I

For your Monday viewing pleasure, we offer a full array of eye candy.








Naughty Candy













Preppy, pretty candy

















Cold Dead Hands Candy








Clever, witty candy























Candy with integrity




















Brokeback candy






We will be serving up plenty more candy once Blogger and I are back on speaking terms.

So what're some of your favorite candies from Hollywood's Golden Age?

Sensing a Theme?

Drink:
Cape Codder

Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz Vodka
3 oz Cranberry Juice
1 Wedge Lime

Mixing Instructions:
Pour Vodka and Cranberry Juice into a High Ball glass over ice.
Stir well
Add the wedge of lime
Serve

*with thanks to The Webtender

Really Random Stuff

RC: Wow. Wow! WOW!

MM: What is it, buddy?

RC: Nothing, Mommy. I'm just wowing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tired of Green Eggs and Ham? Try today's special:

Although it's one of the lesser known Seusses, this was the book that my 34-year-old brother LOVED when he was a kid. So much so that every member of my household had it memorized. I remember it fondly when I was an 8-year-old-girl reading it to my 3-year-old brother and I love it now that I'm a 39-year-old mom reading to my 3- and 5-year-old sons.

~~~~~~~(no good way to segue here)

I had a dream last night that I was late coming home because I was having a rendezvous with Sawyer from Lost. I did. not. want to wake up.