Friday, September 5, 2008

The Potty Whisperer - A Fable

You know how our brains forget the pain of childbirth as a way of ensuring the propagation of the species? There are some other things that our brains hide from us because if we remembered the trauma, we'd never willingly go through it again. For me, it's potty training. I suck at it. It's been two weeks and one day and as I look at RC dancing around in yet another pair of Diego big boy underwear, I think it might be okay to talk about without fear of breaking the spell.

Two Thursdays ago, as I was stepping into the shower HRH screeched upstairs at his most ear-splitting decibel that RC had just peed on the living room rug. Same shit, different day or something like that. I stood in the shower trying to calm down, taking deep yogic breaths, and reviewing my options.

I could-. Tried. Failed.

Maybe if-. Tried. Failed.

What about-? Tried. Failed.

Post shower and no more prepared to deal, I went into RC's room and grabbed two pair of 'big boy underwear' from his drawer. I stomped into the living room (avoiding the pee spot) and held up both pair. "Is it going to be Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Speed Racer?" Huh? "Because I'm throwing all your diapers away. We. are. done."

I then proceeded to take every diaper in the house and toss it in the trash. I wasn't enthusiastic, I wasn't encouraging, I didn't begin to address the rug incident. And I would brook no argument. I resigned myself to never entering a bathroom alone until we were done, packed up seven or eight changes of clothes, and left the house. The boy went about six hours without peeing before finally giving in - in the potty.

Initially, I thought my timing was way off. We were leaving the next day for Storyland. But wait! Daddy would be along for this ride. And so it was, like so many other projects in our marriage, I started the ball rolling and my husband, God bless him, carried it through to completion! He nagged, he cajoled, he sat on the lip of the bathtub and read endless books and offered encouragement. And in the end, my boy was trained! He got his bike last Saturday.

My husband, The Potty Whisperer.


Ellyn said...

Great team effort.

My hubby is the one who usually does stuff like this too.

Sue said...

Send him my way PLEEEEEAAASE!! We have 5 diapers left in the house and that is IT. And I bought a carpet steamer. Game on. (WTG RC!!)

JCK said...

I think congratulations are in order! Good for you both. The tag teamers!

anymommy said...

Awesome. When he's done at Sue's place can you send him right on over to my house? Because my darling little girl trained in three days, but my unbelievably stubborn son wore me down for a week before I gave up and put him back in diapers. That was six months ago. I'm sucking my thumb right now thinking about trying again.

merlotmom said...

I'm so happy I'm done with that. Good for you, have a glass of wine on me.

Anonymous said...

Nature's Miracle (available at the pet store) does wonders on rugs and furniture when small children pee on them. No ring, no smell, NO EVIDENCE!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

My youngest son was about to turn 3 and I realized he was still in diapers. (I was a bit tired what with having 3 kids in 4 years). I did the same thing you did--"Hey kid, you're done with diapers. Put the underwear on." It really was not that bad. Or maybe I'm blocking since that was 12 years ago!

Congrats on getting it done.

Kate said...

Every time I brag to my mother about how my 3 year old is finally potty trained, he has an accident. But for the most part he is.

I would have been just as happy to keep him in diapers until he was four. Sounds gross, but he is a late talker and it's hard to negotiate with him. Plus my twins are almost two and climb all over us when we're in the bathroom (I, like your husband, get to sit with him while he does his business).

The accidents are a little dissapointing - but I just chalk it up to him getting lost in the shuffle.

Congratulations on RC's success!

Sue said...

Wahooo!!! Way to go, RC!!!

P.S. About now you are probably feeling no pain. Wish I was there!

G said...

It took hubby to do it for Pal, too...just woke up on a Saturday and said THIS IS IT!

Pal got goldfish as a prize...and I thought I was done cleaning poop????

See you next Sat.?


Tootsie Farklepants said...

Please don't feel alone. I sucked at potty training too, only I didn't forget the awfulness of it the first time around which is why I postponed it as long as possible the 2nd and 3rd time around.

LuckyMe said...

Potty training was disastrous for me. I refused to start early and run them to the bathroom every hour so I waited until I was too embarassed to put them in diapers anymore. They (all boys) all potty trained around their third birthdays but at least they had very few accidents by then.

Does it help to know this is truly one of the toughest parts of parenting?


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