Saturday, October 27, 2007

Reduce, Reuse, Regurgitate

On the heels of Notes from the Trenches' Chris' and Motherhood Uncensored's Kristen's recent posts regarding Freecycle, and sharing in Suburban Correspondent's love of a good vomit story, I came across this post on our local freecycle board, posted 10/22/07:

OFFER: Expired turkey (Lawrence and Main)

I have most of a 10 oz package of deli turkey that expired 10/11/07. Maybe you have a pet that would like it.


No, thank you. WTF? Where do I even start? That it's already opened? That it was already 11 days past expiration when you posted it? That if I were going to euthanize one of my pets through cruel and unusual punishment, I'd club them over the head? Too...many...thoughts...

How 'bout you guys come up with your best/worst local Freecycle post? I'm tagging Helena, Phoenix, and Kristin, with this one. Mrs. Chicky, you may abstain from this one so as not to counteract the Zofran. Hope this didn't already.

Friday, October 26, 2007

CSI - New England

Scene: Loud crying erupts from previously playing children in livingroom.

MM: What was that?

RC enters kitchen, holding head, sobbing. HRH at his heels.

MM crouches down to kiss and make it all better.

MM (in sing-songy voice): Whaaat haaappennned?

HRH (not letting RC get a word in edgewise): He was on the coffee table -

RC: Sobs unintelligibly over HRH's explanation.

MM kisses boo-boo again.

HRH: He was on the coffee table -

RC (around pacifier in mouth): I'm all better, Mom.

(and he is! RC is the fastest healer I've ever met)

HRH (compulsive confessor/'the informer'): Wait! I'll show you:



Also? A shout out to my doppleganger. I never said I was original. Give her a look-see. She's funny, too! And to quote The New Girl, is there room for one more?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

As Heard From the Back Seat

Manic Mommy: Hey guys, look at the pretty red tree out the window.

HRH: It's out MY window.

RC: It's out MY window.

HRH: No! It's out MY window.

RC: No! It's out MY window.

HRH: No! It's out MY window.

RC: No! It's out MY window.

...continues until MM drives into a bridge abutment...(not really)

HRH (with air of superiority): We can fight about this later. Let's talk about something else. I'm four. How old are you?

RC (deadpan): I'm four.

HRH (aghast at his rightful place as OLDEST being called into question): No you're not! You're two!

RC (practically smirking): I'm four.

HRH (apoplectic): YOU'RE TWO!

RC: I'm four.

Manic Mommy turns up radio and eyes passing bridge abutment...she's in big trouble...

Monday, October 22, 2007

We Can't Have Nice Things - 2 - The Car

As I was taking these pictures, then downloading them, I had to decide if I was too emabarassed to show them. I guess I have no shame. For ease of reference, I've divided the pictures into specific sections.

A. No good deed goes unpunished.
Andy was away on business at the same time that my youngest sister totalled her car (I know, bad omen). Rather than her shelling out the money on a rental, I told her to take my truck for a few days while Andy was traveling and I'd drive his car. How can I get mad at her when she was hit and run in a parking lot? I can't - Andy can get a 'little' mad...
B. Why Andy can't be mad at my sister anymore.
I previously mentioned Andy's boat, That Kintner Boy and that he'd gotten most of the parts from Ebay. One such part involved a drive to a farm in Rhode Island. After carefully loading the parts into the back of the truck in big plastic bins to keep the back neat, he proceeded to drive into a huge boulder located directly in front of where he'd parked my truck.

C. From dual zone control to zero zone control (what a metaphor).
As a child, I fondly remember sitting in my friend's father's car and playing "driving" and thinking my parents were total party poopers for not letting us play in their cars. Uh, well, if you look closely, you'll see the shiny copper of a penny stuck in the bottom of the slots where the heat/AC controls should go. Attempting to remove the loose change (the penny has friends) cost us both hand controls. We now rely on a old house key to adjust the heat. Very handy.


A. Can you say "peripheral vision impairment"?
Last year, HRH was having some difficulty with some of his pronunciation, so we signed him up for speech therapy. After each session, the therapist would give him a sticker for a job well done. After the first visit, he was so proud of his sticker, he asked if he could place it on the window. I, of course agreed. Never in my wildest imaginings did I envision just how many places will hand out stickers to preschoolers when asked using perfect diction and an adorable smile. You may recognize the top ones as the labels Starbucks uses to denote different blends of coffees. They're the kids' favorites.
B. The 'way back' Mr. Peabody.
Here we've got leis and stuff from the Jimmy Buffett concert on Labor Day, my yoga bag, grocery bags (I'm so green), hand-me-downs returned by my sister more than a week ago that still haven't made it into my house, the stroller, an extra sweatshirt or 12, and to be honest, I just don't know what else.

A. Harboring that Supervirus Bossy Mentioned
This is the door handle on RC's side of the car. Other than the lollypop sticks, I really can't identify the what else is there. I don't open or close his door from the inside so it took me a while to even notice this petrie dish.
B. What? His Feet Don't Touch The Floor
This is the floor in front of the seat where I allow my child to sit. Whatever he's got in his hands, gets immediately dumped - M&Ms, goldfish, vanilla milk from Starbucks, giant M&M cookie from Starbucks (are we sensing a pattern here?) orange crackers, etc. I know; stop letting him eat in the car. NOT AN OPTION.
** In answer to the question all of you are asking, yes, these pictures did shame me into taking the car to the good car wash that vacuums it out for you. And yes, I tipped well.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Let Us Pray...

Please bow your heads.

A Prayer for the Red Sox

Our Father, who art at Fenway...
Baseball be thy game.
Thy Kingdom come,
Playoffs need to be won,
On Earth, then on to the
Cask 'n' Flagon.
Give us this day, a perfect Papi
And forgive us our losses,
As we forgive those,
Like Bill Buckner
And lead us not, into desperation,
But deliver us from any losses.
For thine has the Power,
And the Glory,
To beat the Indians,
Forever and ever....the Yankees suck

Also, a smaller prayer that there is a bar with a TV at the wedding we're going to tonight.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Dy-Manic Duo

The Caped Crusader:

The Caped Invader:

Friday, October 12, 2007

It's for you...

Phone rings. I pick up in the basement. It's Andy.

HRH (a second later from upstairs): Hel-lo?

Andy: Hi HRH, it's Daddy. How are you? How was school today? (more parent/child phone conversational drivel ensues). HRH, can you please press the red button so I can talk to Mommy?

HRH: Okay, Daddy, I'm putting you on speaker. (Does it. The Backyardigans - I mean Sesame Street - singing in the background)

RC (plaintive whining through located contraband pacifier): I wanna talk to Daddy!

Andy: Hi RC. HRH, can you please press the red button? (beep as HRH disconnects)

Andy (to me): So I was onli- (beep as HRH rejoins conversation).

HRH: Mommy, I want a drinking yogurt.

Me: Sure baby, get one from the fridge and please press the red button (beep as HRH disconnects).

Andy: ...looking at different options for kindergart- (beep as RC joins conversation, pacificier still in mouth). I can't do this.

RC: I wanna talk to Daddy!! (immediately disconnects).

Me: No, it's okay now. ..

Sounds of RC coming downstairs.

Me: So, we'll talk about this when you get home?

Andy: Uh, yeah. Bye, lo-

Me: No. Don't touch that. You'll break the computer!


Tuesday, October 9, 2007

When No Words Are Necessary

Meme ~ What's in a Name?

At the suggestion of Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored, I've gone pink for the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I do this with fond thoughts and memories of my cousin, Elle, who lost her fight two years ago last month.

Now back to our regularly scheduled...whatever it is I do here...


Here's a meme that Phoenix stole from somewhere. I liked it, so I'm re-stealing it. Like her, I'm using my Bloggy pseudonym in place of my real name.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car):
Tabitha Trailblazer (that's kind of cool...but wait 'til you get to the tour...)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Pistachio Sandy (less cool)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) M-Mom (really lame)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Cat (dumb, but really, I blame the question)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Mary Brighton (sounds right)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Mom-Ma (most lame)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Blue Margarita (now we're talkin')

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
William William (can I go with Bill William?)

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Happy Kisses (as in Hersheys)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Ellen Louis (uh, sure)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Nilus New Orleans (actually, I went to Catholic school and my fifth grade teacher was Sister Nilus. If you asked, I'd have to tell you her first name was 'sister.' )

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Summer Iris (I like it, I really like it!)

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)Honeydew Khaki (no comment either way)

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Pumpkin Muffin Evergreen (In 1968? I could see it)

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Home Improvement Thunderstorm Tour (Not even my mother would go)

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today's my mother's birthday. And I didn't attend her birthday brunch at my sister's because I went to the Cape for an overnight with my girlfriends. I was able to go without guilt because my mommy loves me, and gets me, and understands just how much I needed to get away.

Love you, Mum. Up to the sky.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

That Kintner Boy

Andy bought a boat last year. More precisely, he bought the hull of a boat, then he bought the remaining parts like say the engine, transmission, wiring harness (yes, I know what that is now) on eBay and Craigslist. He spent many cold evenings out in the garage over the past year putting it all together and this past Sunday, all his hard work paid off: He and our neighbor, that's him in the picture, successfully launched That Kintner Boy! And didn't sink!

Andy is beside himself with glee. I think I could ask him for anything - (just off the top of my head, of course) a new livingroom set, a Honda Pilot, a third child, a girls' night away - and he would give it to me. And this Saturday, the boat is going to pay off for me too!!

I wrote a post a while back about missing my friend, Chris and the fun our little gang of four used to have. After reading this post by Bossy, was inspired to contact them and say 'Okay, enough's enough. When are we getting together?' God was with us and this weekend, we're going to Wendy's cottage for an overnight!! No kids, no spouses, just lots of high calorie food, adult beverages, and uninterrupted conversation!!

Chris is the problem child in this equation so we're hard at work on Plan B. This may or may not involve slowing the SUV, opening the door, and grabbing her. I can roughly find where her sister-in-law lives so we can drop the kids on the way. I think it's a solid plan.

So, thank you, Andy. Thank you, Bossy. And thank you, Alex Kintner.


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