Shiny, Happy People Holding Hands...

Have you "friended" any news outlets on Facebook?  If you haven't please do!  And be sure at least one of them is local.   One of my greatest pleasures these days is reading the comments - and comments on comments - posted by the jury of my peers currently populating my Facebook space.

So one of our local news stations (best known for their sensational journalism, hyperbole, and alliteration) posts this pretty dry, yet informative piece about Hurricane Earl:

Ladies and gentlemen, I present The People of Facebook:

You've got your Generic Likers

The Slightly Pissed Off

The I Told You So's

The Truly Pissed Off

The Attackers

The Defenders

The Rebutters

The Defenders - This time it's personal

The Random Hate Speakers

The Clairvoyant Grammarians

The English Teachers (okay, these are my people)

Think I'll stay on the right side of the law.  The jury pool's pretty shallow...

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing

Copied verbatim from Selfish Mom. Please take a minute to read this.  Then take another to copy and paste (AND SEND) Amy's well-written email and sign your own name.

Nothing good ever comes from me checking CNN before bed.  It’s usually my last stop, just to see what stupid thing Biden did or which vapid celebs are getting divorced.  But tonight it was this, about a mother of two who has been in prison in Iran for five years charged with adultery, who may be stoned to death at any time.

I’m on vacation and exhausted and have to get up early and don’t know what to say about this that isn’t already blatantly obvious to anyone with half a brain.  It would be easy to just read about this impending atrocity and feel bad for a few minutes and then move on, feeling helpless.  And really, there may be nothing to be done.  But it’s worth a try.  This site suggests sending an email to Navi Pillay, UN High Commissioner for the Office of Human Rights.  Then tell your friends to send an email, and tell them to tell their friends.  Tweet it, Facebook, blog it, email it.  Iran is not completely immune to international pressure, so you never know.

Here’s my letter, use it or write your own.

Dear Ms. Pillay,

I am writing to you because I just read about the case of Sakine Mohammadi e Ashtiani, who is waiting in prison in Iran to be stoned to death.  While I know that there are many different views in the world about the death penalty that can be debated, I refuse to believe that anyone of any sense would think it anything less than barbaric to kill someone because of an alleged adultery, or to kill someone in such a horrible and tortuous way as stoning no matter what the crime.

I urge you to do whatever is in your power to pressure Iran to reverse this woman’s sentence and let her go free to return to her children, who have been without their mother for five years.  I cannot imagine why a group like the UN exists if not for this. If there is nothing that the UN can do about this – or if the UN is unwilling to try to intervene – then you should all pack your bags and go home.

Thanks,
Amy XXX
SelfishMom.com
FilmingInBrooklyn.com
Momtourage.com

I’m off to try to get some sleep, and hope that my dreams don’t include being buried up to my neck and having stones hurled at my head until my skull fractures and I die.

Thank you for posting, Amy.  I'm sending my email now. We're all in this together.

Team Why Mommy's Virtual Science Fair

Three things kind of converged in the last few weeks in a way that confirm my belief that we're all in this together.  My polygamist, gay, boyfriend, Jason is taking part in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure 60 Mile Walk.  He's doing it in memory of his mother and in honor of his brother, who was 11 when their mom died.

The second thing is that I was called back in after a yearly mammogram for a second look at what appears to be a calcification.  I have an appointment with a surgeon next week and look to be headed toward a biopsy.  I'm treating this the same way I've treated an abnormal pap result; I'm "concerned" lower case, not "CONCERNED" all caps.  My mom and my husband inform me they're doing the worrying for me.  I have very good people in my life.

The third is that I received an email from my dear friend, Jean, of Stimeyland.  I will always be grateful to blogging and to the universe for putting a person such as Jean in my path,  She is a good person.  She is smart, funny, caring, enthusiastic, energetic, self-effacing, and did I say wickedly funny?  She is the person you want in your corner.  She's got your back.

To wit: the email explained that a mutual blogging friend, Susan at Toddler Planet was going in for another round of surgery to address, heal, and kick cancer's ass.  Apparently, cancer didn't know who it was dealing with the first time.  Susan is yet another truly good person.  I had the pleasure of meeting her at BlogHer last year in Chicago.  Susan is an astrophysicist and a mommy.  And has cancer.

Jean came up with the brilliant idea of a Virtual Science Fair to show our support for Susan but not for her (rat bastard) cancer.   So here I am, doing what I can on all three fronts of my our battle:

1. I send money, support, and love to Jason.
2. I make appointments and follow-up, and stay positive about my own health
3. I submit my sons' and my science project.  (I hope we get an Honorable Mention)

Absorption Experiment:  

After cutting stems, place white carnations in a cup of water and add food coloring. What will happen?

Mom: What do you think will happen to the flowers?
HRH: The flower part will turn the color of the food coloring.
Gremlin: I don't know.

Mom: How do you think it happens?
HRH: The water will come into the bottom and be sucked up into the flower and by my calculations, you will be able to see that color.


Mom: How long do you think it will take?
HRH: Maybe about a half an hour to three quarters of an hour
Gremlin: Don't know!

Mom: Do you think it will make any difference if the stems are longer or shorter?
HRH: Maybe if the stems are longer, it will take longer to absorb.
Gremlin: You're a fast writer.

Mom: Do you think it will make any difference which colors we use?
HRH: Oh!  My food coloring dropped.
Gremlin: Mom, when can we start?
HRH: Mom, when can we start?

Natives getting restless. Time to move on to the doing:

Start time: 2:59 pm

Beware the dangers of food coloring.

4:17 pm - Change occurring in tips of petals!!

 

9:30 am (18 hrs, 31 minutes)

To Susan, I offer you this lovely bouquet of cheap-ass, $1.00 carnations now filled with all the colors of the rainbow.  I also send strength, healing, prayers, love, and good wishes. We've got your back.

Head over to Stimeyland to check out all the fabulous science-y expressions of love for Susan!

If You Build It, She Will Come

C'mon, people. Did you really think I'd miss this?


Combined with this?


That's right, not only is The Boston Wine Expo this weekend but my wonderful bloggy friend, Kristen will be selling her awesome Baby Brewing wares. And guess who she asked to help??

ME!!

That's right, so for all my local friends, both IRL and Bloggy, make sure you stop by the Mommy Needs a Glass of Wine booth to say hi and take a look at all her very cool clothing and other fun ideas. I can't wait!

Cheers!

Manic Mommy Zeitgeist - 2009

Each year, Google publishes its Zeitgeist, compiling all the various search terms all of us collectively have typed into that little box in the upper right of our screens which, taken as a whole, present "the spirit of the times" for 2009. Never let it be said that I let a good idea go un-plagiarized. And so, with the help of Google Analytics, I present:

The Top 5 Manic Search Categories for 2009

5. Alcohol:
- The answer to the burning question of 2009? No, you're not supposed to have alcohol while on Nutrisystem. You're welcome.

4. Perverts:
Looking for:
- Joan Van Ark barefoot (srsly?)
- Picture of babes in bra blouse
- "she's old but she suck"

3. Potty Issues:
Some that I can relate to, although not necessarily help with are:
- Baby ate dirty toilet paper
- Boy Plunger
- Is it normal for a four year old to smear toothpaste all over? (Answer: YES!)
- My two year old son at dirty cat litter

Thanks for making me feel normal again!

2. Manic Behavior:
- My wife is a little manic + constant phone calls/messages
- What do you do when you're manic?
- He's the manic
- She's the manic (wouldn't you like to be a manic too?)
- Words to She's a Manic


1. General Silliness:
- Do bees have tongues?
- Cheap Mommy Vacation (see category #5)
- christine@christinerocks.com

and my favorite key word search for 2009 is:

- My dog gave birth three days ago and is painting still.

Here's wishing us all a prosperous, peaceful, happy, healthy 2010 full of optimism and opportunity.

Happy New Year!

Perspective

Gremlin has a cold. A pretty good one. As per his usual, he got a bad, raspy, croupy cough that gets worse at night. Last January, following cold after cold spent listening and comforting my baby helplessly as he awoke crying from coughing because we-don't-give-kids-cough-medicine, we went AMA and gave him some Triaminic - a half dose. It worked like a charm; the coughing slowed, he slept, we slept and there were no adverse side effects. We did this for about three nights (nights only) until the worst of the coughs subsided.

When this bout reared its head, we toughed it out for a night but again went to Triaminic. Friday night, it worked; some coughing but subdued and he could sleep. Saturday night, not so much. He coughed mightily from the time he lay down. We took turns heading into his room when he cried. We took turns going into his room even if he wouldn't cry, just to check. We tried to get honey into him to ease his throat. I slept in his bed, he came into ours. We headed out onto the front porch in the freezing cold with him wrapped in a blanket to lessen the croupies. We even called the pediatrician when he cried that he needed to cough but couldn't. And of course, our frustration got the better of us and we briefly turned on each other.

Nonetheless, at 6:00 am Easter morning, the sun was up and so were my boys, ready for their Easter baskets. Gremlin definitely handled the sleepless night far better than his daddy or I did. We all slept last night (sans drugs) and this morning, my boy felt good enough that he's in preschool, making a fruit salad and learning about Passover.

I know the frustration, fear, pity, sadness, and helplessness I felt watching my baby deal with what is, in reality a blip, a minor cold - he barely had a temperature. And I think of Mike and Heather Spohr, who lost their little girl because her body wasn't strong enough to win her last battle. Friends of my blog friends, who will be attending her funeral tomorrow.

I lost a night's sleep and probably encouraged a few more gray hairs. I can take it. I thank God for making my family strong and healthy. I thank Him for giving me perspective. I pray for Mike and Heather that they will somehow find the strength to put one foot in front of the other. I hope they feel the love that is out here for them.

It's a Major Award!

Do you all read Rachel at A Reservation for Six? You really should. She's funny, honest, and clearly an excellent judge of fine writing. So fine in fact that she's bestowed on me...an award:



It's actually called The Premios Dardo and is "given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing... created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web". Pretty impressive, huh? Rachel nicknamed it the Smoking Typewriter Award. So that is what I too shall call it.


Rule One of accepting this prestigious award call for me to put my name in a Google image search and share the results. Much like Rachel, the search results were unfit for publication on my blog (we're a family show). Rather, I am copying Rachel by Googling the words "Unfortunately Christine" and supplying the first ten results:


1. Unfortunately Christine's go-go boots are out of camera range. (Damn straight baby, Christine rocks the (Uggs) go-go boots!)

2. Unfortunately, Christine's case was quite severe and she had only a fraction of the normal length of small intestine. (Um, eww. Sorry, real Christine.)

3. Unfortunately, Christine was not Babe in the sequel, "Babe: Pig in the City," for "personal reasons." (Wait a minute. Am I the pig in this scenario??)

4. Unfortunately Christine’s story was no exception to the rule. (The first rule that came to mind was 'no good deed goes unpunished'. Awesome. Next!)

5. Unfortunately, Christine just so happened to have a voice that was stunning and mesmerizing. (You know how both of these words have more than one meaning? My singing would be the other meaning of stunning and mesmerizing.)

6. Unfortunately, Christine has retired from skating for a variety of reasons. (No sense of balance or skating talent being chief among them.)

7. Unfortunately, Christine doesn't mesh with the Stepford moms, and an awkward situation gets worse. (This could happen. This Christine doesn't do well with The Muffia).

8. Unfortunately Christine, I do not have room down here in Hell because I'm trying to save plenty of space for the gays. (The actual author was being facetious. Please don't send me hate mail.)

9. Unfortunately, Christine is ready for him and pulls a blaster on Power, who is without his Power Suit. (I'm working on my own super hero name. Andy suggested Neurotica.)

10. Unfortunately Christine has filled it with the same dribble she puts here. (Shouldn't it be drivel? Anything filled with dribble sounds quite disgusting. Either way, it seems like a proper ending to Part One.)

Rule Two of award acceptance calls for me to pass the award along to 10 worthy bloggers who (I pick because I like them) also exemplify the spirit of the Premios Dardo. And so I present The Smoking Typewriter award to 10 women that I don't think of merely as bloggers, I think of them as friends.

Julie at LLOL (Literally Laughing Out Loud) for sharing her wit, wisdom, and perseverance in raising boys.

Kate (k8) at The Big Piece of Cake makes me laugh out loud. One of the many reasons I'd move to DC.

Stacey at Is There Any Mommy Out There? makes me think and makes me laugh.


Sue at My Party of Six should definitely meet Rachel. I think they would be friends.

Natasha the Exile on Mom Street. I think Natasha is one of the prettiest names there is. I love sharing her road well-traveled.

Rachel at Diary of a Mad, Mad Housewife. My fellow Masshole, full of sarcastic wit and funny observations.

Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood. Tales of her boyz keep me laughing and make me want to travel out to the 495 belt for a glass of wine with my bloggy friend.

Jean in Stimeyland truly shares with us the ridiculous and the sublime. I am so buying Jean a drink in Chicago.

Always, my friend Katherine at Where's My Cape who presented me with my first award and with whom I'm bunking at BlogHer (even though she says she snores).

And lastly, to Jennifer on her Thursday Drive, who actually spends as much time on Facebook as I do. She makes me long to be a better writer.

Cheers, my friends!

Mind If I Axe You a Question?

As part of my Christmas present, Andy bought me a really nice pair of Dolce and Gabana sunglasses. So nice in fact, that I initially though the glasses case they came in was actually a really cute clutch purse.

Now I haven't paid more than $16.00 for a pair of Target sunglasses in nearly seven years. I do like the ones he got me but am unsure whether they really work for my current sweater-and-jeans lifestyle. So I need some help deciding.

Here's me, sunglasses-less (yes, my hair is huge, I'm learning to live with it):Here's me in my current, Target sunglasses (please ignore "necky-ness" - trust me when I tell you this was the best of the bunch.):

Here's me in my super-cool D&Gs:

Well, what do you think?

Strength in Numbers

If you've got a sec, could you please head over to my new friend, Meghan's Place? A good friend of hers is nearly 30 weeks pregnant and her little yet-to-be born boy requires in utero surgery to repair his failing kidneys.

We all spend about nine months praying for nothing more than a healthy baby. And most of us get just that.

Pass along some good wishes, strong healing thoughts, and some powerful prayers to help out Meghan's friend Hanna and her baby, Andrew.

Thank you.