Let Me Hear Your War Cry!

What?  This stuff doesn't happen at your house??

Last week, I am awakened from blissful slumber in the middle of the night by the sound of my husband doing his best Braveheart immitation.  (I actually likened it to that scene in Return of the King when Aragorn says, "For Frodo,"  then runs headlong into a phalanx of Orcs at the Black Gate.  But I digresss....)

I go from sound asleep to still asleep but on my feet, running, and yelling "What? What?!" while following my husband, in full battle cry exiting our bedroom.  Here is his sequence of events:

0.0 microseconds - Andy awakens to the sound of HRH screaming. 

0.1 - Mind immediately processes "HRH is having a nightmare."

0.2  - Localizing sound...HRH is sleeping in Gremlin's room...sound not coming from Gremlin's room!

0.3 - Clearly, HRH is being dragged from the house by a kidnapper and is screaming in terror!

0.325 - Every microliter of adreneline empties into bloodstream.

0.4 - Eject from bed, issuing war cry to alert kidnapper to his approach with intent of kidnapper dropping HRH.

0.5 - Formulate plan while running down hall: Will bodily throw kidnapper down flight of stairs then land on top of him and proceed to pummel him until dead.


1.0 - Arrive at top of stairs where HRH is standing at the safety gate, alone, still asleep, and screaming.

1.5 - Processing...Child is not being kidnapped.  Child is sleepwalking, came up against the safety gate and could not compute.

2.0 - Hugging child. Adrenaline still flowing like oil into the Gulf.

2.5 - Second, totally confused child emerges from bedroom to find out what all the screaming is about.

3.0 - Still piecing it all together, Mommy ushers everyone toward our bedroom to calm everyone down, try to return to sleep mode.


3.5 - Best guess is Daddy will be prepared to sleep by Thursday.

Harsh

Scene:  MM and The Daddy preparing for bed.

Daddy:  Babe, I gotta tell you, in the realm of "harsh" tonight, you cracked me up.

MM: Smiles beatifically. 


The boys have always had their own rooms but given a choice, HRH would rather share space with his brother.  From Mom and Dad's standpoint, HRH camping in Gremlin's room increases the chances of a full night's sleep for everyone.  IT's called a win-win - except the obvious fooling around, blanket disruption, tossing of stuffed animals, and moving of beds (really?) that accompanies shared sleeping space.  So in and out the parents go; cajoling, threatening, ultimately separating. The problem is that Grem actually prefers to sleep by himself so as the instigator, he's got nothing to lose and I've lost hand.

Last night, post-bath, as the boys were engaged in their pre-bedtime ritual of coercion and bribery attempts for co-sleeping, HRH bumped into his bedside lamp, sending it crashing to the floor and breaking the bulb.  I react like a medic on the battlefield.  Clearing the barefoot boys from the scene and going down on hands and knees with a dustpan and brush, then the Dustbuster. Cleaner than it was before 'the incident'.

I then tell the boys that because of the danger of glass, I think that HRH should definitely sleep in Gremlin's room tonight.  This was of course, not the concern. The shake-down had gone on for nearly half an hour and I was simply tired of hearing it.  We tuck in and do God Blesses. 

And I leave them with this warning;  "If there is any fooling around,  the person that started it will be sleeping in HRH's room.  With the glass."

Not a word.  Not a sound.  Straight to sleep.

Clockwork Gremlin

Scene:
HRH: Snuggled up to Mommy in the pre-dawn darkness. Ready to chat.

Manic Mommy: Shoved to the middle of the bed, head sandwiched between two pillows like she's strapped to a back board.

The Daddy: On his side, facing away, playing possum.

HRH: Mom?

MM: Hmmmm?

HRH: Sometimes, I go into Gremlin's room in the morning and try to wake him up by pulling his eyelids open.

MM: And does that wake him up?

HRH: No, he just closes them back to sleep.

MM: How 'bout you don't do that anymore, mmkay?


Think I'm gonna let it slide next time I catch Gremlin messing with HRH.

About Last Night...

Gremlin to Night Terror

Daddy to Gremlin
Manic Mommy to Gremlin

Daddy to Kitchen for drink(s)

HRH (camping on Gremlin's floor) to Mommy and Daddy's bed
Cat to Mommy and Daddy's bed

Mommy and Gremlin to Potty

Daddy to Bed

Gremlin to Bed

Mommy to M&D Bed to retrieve HRH
HRH to Campsite
Cat to Hallway
HRH to own bed to be with cat
Cat to Bathroom Sink for drink

Mommy to Downstairs to retrieve Dog
Mommy and Dog to Crate in M&D Room
Mommy to Downstairs to lock up
Mommy to Downstairs for water
Mommy and Cat to HRH's Room

Mommy to Bathroom
Mommy to Gremlin's Room for last check

Mommy to BED.


* With a shout out to the inimitable Holly at June Cleaver Nirvana and her animated life. As I was going about this business last night, I could only think of diagramming it.

What to Really Expect - Part 2

Child: HRH
Age: 7 weeks

It's 5:00 am on a very chilly January morning. HRH begins to stir in his cradle beside my side of the bed. I reach over and attempt to plug him to catch another few moments of precious sleep. He makes a strange noise. Instantly awake, I flip on the light to find HRH struggling to breathe. I scream Andy awake. He jumps out of bed, into HRH's room across the hall, grabs the snot sucker off the changing table and suctions him, pulling out a nice little booger nugget. HRH begins sucking in air again like a pearl diver returning to the surface.

We bundle up our little prince in at least three layers of fleece over his 'jamas to ward off the pre-dawn chill and drive off to the emergency room. With the dome light on and me in the back seat, monitoring his every breath.

We arrive at the hospital and wait...and wait...and wait. (Have I ever mentioned that the effing emergency room is named after my father in law, who had been chief of emergency surgery until his death?) Eventually the baby is evaluated. Or, rather, we are evaluated.

ER Doc: So you say your son's nose was stuffy.
Us: Yep! And he wasn't breathing!

ER Doc: Do you have the heat on?
Us: Yes, it's set to 9,000. Can't have our precious getting all chilled.

ER Doc: And his cradle? Is it near the heat source?
Us: Yes indeedy! Right next to the radiator. But don't worry. We made sure our newborn baby couldn't reach out and grab it. We're cautious.

ER Doc: And this house that you just moved into six weeks before his birth? Does it have carpeting?
Us: Yep. Nice older (dusty) carpteting. We were going to pull it up but thought we'd leave it til spring to keep the room warmer. Besides, it goes well with the peeling wallpaper.

Baby's Diagnosis: Your child is "stuffy." I'll give you a minute to digest this complicated bit of medical information. Then go buy a humidifier.

Parents Diagnosis: Morons of the overreatcting variety.

(Moron) Manic Mommy: He's hungry. Is it okay if I nurse him?

ER Doc: Blank stare. Did anyone ever mention to you that newborns only breathe through their noses?

Us: Blank stare.

ER Doc: Yeah, they don't learn how to breathe through their mouths until later.

Us (later, to each other, not the doctor): Good fucking tip, don't you think!?

Upshot:
Still take HRH to see his pediatrician that afternoon. Just to be sure. Same diagnosis; parental mania/moronic-ness.
Buy a humidifier the size of a refrigerator (wallpaper is steamed off in a matter of weeks).
Alert every new/expecting parent we ever meet about the mouth-breathing thing.

Summer Cold

You wake
With a cough
Too hot
Cozy on the couch
Blanket and pillow
DVD
More juice
We move through the day
Time for bed
Snuggling
Tired boy
You fall right to sleep
You wake coughing and crying, again
I move you to our bed and lie with you
Mommy's here
I kiss your forehead to check your temperature
Still hot
I kiss you again
Just because
You cough
You cry
So tired
I comfort
I love you

Flu to you too, Winnie the Pooh

This is the cover of today's Boston Globe. Below are my own headlines.


The boys have the flu. RC has the flu and double ear infections.


HRH is still running a temp but lower. He doesn't have the cough but does have a runny nose and is achy and tired.


RC is still running a temp well in the 102-103+ range, is coughing this horrible seal bark, has a runny nose, and just uncomfortable all over. He spent most of last night and a good chunk of today lying in my arms, whimpering.


This is the sickest either of them has ever been and I. don't. like it.


We spoke with the on-call doctor but opted to wait until this morning in order to see a pediatrician in our practice rather than making the run to the emergency room. They reran the flu test because they can often get a false negative if the test is administered too early. The treatment is still the same and he's on Amoxicillian for the ear infections.


Thanks everyone for your input on the cough suppressant issue. I did ask the pedi today about codeine. The answer I got was that the difference in the dose to stop the cough and stop the breathing is too slight in a child this young. Good enough for me.


So for now, HRH remains sick but making inconsistent progress toward better. RC is still really, really sick. I just want him to get some rest and show some improvement by morning. Then I'll worry about what to do if when Andy and I get it.


(with apologies for the spacing. Blogger has decided we'll either have one massive, run-on paragraph or huge gaps. I went with B as the lesser of evils)

A. to the M.A.

There's a question at the bottom, so decide now if you'd like to skip the brief timeline:

Saturday Eve:

- Neighborhood birthday party where one daddy is clearly in the throws of tuberculosis or other flesh eating disease, his four year old daughter clearly has "the sick eyes."

- His wife comes home late from work (Nurse practioner at a prison in central Mass). She was delayed due to admitting a patient with MRSA to the infirmary.

- We go on to discuss her family's three-week-long ailment/cold/undefined fever-thing at length.

- Thanks for comin'!

Monday Afternoon:

- HRH comes home from school with a note stating that one of his classmates has tested postive for strep and everyone has been exposed.

Tuesday Morning:

- HRH enters our bedroom with a 102 temp, complaining of sore throat.

- RC has a low grade temp and is coughing like a seal.

- Both semi-stuffy.

Tuesday:

- Loooooooonnnnngggggg Daaaaaaayyyyyyy

- Was it really only yesterday?

Tuesday Afternoon:

- Visit to the pediatrician.

- Instant strep tests come back negative. Also negative for flu.

- But blood tests administered. Remember that scene in Gone with the Wind, where the doctor decides to amputate despite no anesthesia? HRH was channeling that during the finger prick episode.

- I apologize every mother waiting behind us with their kids now terrorized.

- Tylenol, Motrin, Benadryl recommended.

Tuesday Overnight/Wednesday early AM:

- Looooonnnnggggerrrrrr Niiiiiiigggghhhhhhhttt.

- RC up every two hours and coughing/crying in his sleep constantly.

- Also pees through every single layer of his nightclothes and bedclothes. Newly dried and changed RC ends up in bed with us.

- HRH comes in around 4:00 am with a zillion degree temperature, complaining that his head hurts.

- I leave to get juice and more meds but immediately reenter when his coughing fit leads to vomiting.

- On the bed.

- On my side.

Wednesday, 4:30 am:

- Andy and I have everyone back in their own beds and we are lying there on fresh sheets, punchy-tired but too keyed up to sleep.

- Andy seriously contemplates just getting dressed and going to work.

So. Here we are. It's Wednesday at 9:30 and I am totally going Against Medical Advice and seeking your input on the latest drug of choice for coughing.

Help me out here and let me know if you give your kids cough medicine and what you've used.