What? This stuff doesn't happen at your house??
Last week, I am awakened from blissful slumber in the middle of the night by the sound of my husband doing his best Braveheart immitation. (I actually likened it to that scene in Return of the King when Aragorn says, "For Frodo," then runs headlong into a phalanx of Orcs at the Black Gate. But I digresss....)
I go from sound asleep to still asleep but on my feet, running, and yelling "What? What?!" while following my husband, in full battle cry exiting our bedroom. Here is his sequence of events:
0.0 microseconds - Andy awakens to the sound of HRH screaming.
0.1 - Mind immediately processes "HRH is having a nightmare."
0.2 - Localizing sound...HRH is sleeping in Gremlin's room...sound not coming from Gremlin's room!
0.3 - Clearly, HRH is being dragged from the house by a kidnapper and is screaming in terror!
0.325 - Every microliter of adreneline empties into bloodstream.
0.4 - Eject from bed, issuing war cry to alert kidnapper to his approach with intent of kidnapper dropping HRH.
0.5 - Formulate plan while running down hall: Will bodily throw kidnapper down flight of stairs then land on top of him and proceed to pummel him until dead.
1.0 - Arrive at top of stairs where HRH is standing at the safety gate, alone, still asleep, and screaming.
1.5 - Processing...Child is not being kidnapped. Child is sleepwalking, came up against the safety gate and could not compute.
2.0 - Hugging child. Adrenaline still flowing like oil into the Gulf.
2.5 - Second, totally confused child emerges from bedroom to find out what all the screaming is about.
3.0 - Still piecing it all together, Mommy ushers everyone toward our bedroom to calm everyone down, try to return to sleep mode.
3.5 - Best guess is Daddy will be prepared to sleep by Thursday.
Overcoming Comparison as a Parent
1 day ago