Saturday, October 31, 2009

Clockwork Gremlin

HRH: Snuggled up to Mommy in the pre-dawn darkness. Ready to chat.

Manic Mommy: Shoved to the middle of the bed, head sandwiched between two pillows like she's strapped to a back board.

The Daddy: On his side, facing away, playing possum.

HRH: Mom?

MM: Hmmmm?

HRH: Sometimes, I go into Gremlin's room in the morning and try to wake him up by pulling his eyelids open.

MM: And does that wake him up?

HRH: No, he just closes them back to sleep.

MM: How 'bout you don't do that anymore, mmkay?

Think I'm gonna let it slide next time
I catch Gremlin messing with HRH.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Go Ahead. Make my Day.

Last night, I danced upstairs to join my husband with a huge grin on my face! No babe, you're not getting lucky but I just did! Remember that one guy I told you about back in college? A friend of a friend, we sometimes hung around in the same circles. Remember I was interested in him and he even gave me a ride home one night and we spent a little "quality time" in the front seat of his two-door hatchback?

Remember how I thanked God our little tryst didn't extend beyond the pretty innocent make out session? Because, the next day, when my friend, Jen and I ran into him? There was no knowing eye contact, no request for a real date, no sly/flirty exchange, there was merely a lack of acknowledgment.

Let's be honest, the real reason we in the over 40 30 set join Facebook is to see how our high school/college compatriots are holding up in comparison to how we are. Some we friend, some we don't. Some we cyberstalk. Sometimes, the stars and planets align and we see a former crush show up in mutual friend's comment stream.

And sometimes they look like shit.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Another Birthday Post

Because I married you, I have:

A Bread Winner
A Bug Killer
A Cat
A Co-parent
A Date for holidays
A Designated Driver
A Dirty job do-er
A Dog
A Fellow Star Trek geek
Good Tire Air Pressure
A Heavy lifter
In Laws
A Joint checking account
Life insurance
A Mortgage
A Necklace-clasper
An Omelet Maker
A Retirement plan
A Sounding board
A Toilet Plunger
A Valentine
A Wedding date

A Family
A Friendship
A Marriage
Love you, Babe. Happy Birthday.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Career Day

Each school day, we drop off and pick up HRH by walking across a busy street. Always at the cross-walk, nearly always waved on by Gremlin's new best friend, Mary, the crossing guard. She's very pleasant, always smiling, quite efficient; waving on the kids, giving the "one minute" signal to stopped cars, directing others to take the left turn while other drivers wait somewhat patiently for their turn. Her hand gestures are that of a conductor leading a world class orchestra. Gremlin studies her movements. And has found his true calling.

Each day, he watches Mary The Crossing Guard, mimicking her. I think for him, it's a power thing. Like Moses parting The Red Sea. In his mind, he is able to control the ebb and flow of the traffic, the children, the parents with dogs on leashes, time, space, and who knows what else?

There's just that little issue of his size. Each day, as Gremlin takes his daring, nascent steps into World Domination, I'm there; The Human Buzz Kill. "The cars can't see you! Hold my hand! Wait for me! No running! Wave nicely to that car that stopped."

Or y'know, I stop and take a picture...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - Meet the Fetts Edition


The Fetts enjoying a little down time after a hard day of
Bounty Hunting and Cloning:

Also, Daisy doesn't like the fake cobwebs.
She's a stickler for cleanliness, like her mother...

Friday, October 2, 2009

The Politically Incorrect Post

This morning, while in line in HRH's schoolyard waiting for the teacher, Gremlin noticed something. Something he's not run into before. In his best stage whisper, he screamed said to me "Mommy, that lady has a black thing on her face!" Sure enough the mom directly in front of us had a beauty mark, just a little smaller than a dime, right above her lip.

I tried to play it off cool and informed him "Oh, sweetie, that's a mole. Like the one you have right here," pointing to the tiny pencil dot mole on his clavicle.

"No Mom! That one's a LOT bigger than mine..."

Thankfully, the line began to move and the playground was noisy. I don't know if she heard us as I ushered him away going into my "everyone's different" song and dance. And quite honestly, she had a big ass mole on her face. No harm, no foul.

Not so much with Gremlin's last astute observation:

The boys and I were in Whole Foods when Gremlin noticed a little person who works there. I had seen her before, probably noted it, and not thought much more about it. Grem thought A LOT about it. And he was delighted!

Again in his stage whisper, Gremlin stood not ten feet from her grabbing my shirt to draw my attention and screamed said "Look, Mom! She's so LITTLE!"

Oh. God. There are certain observation situations (unusually overweight people and those in wheelchairs come to mind) that you're semi-prepared to explain and not feel too badly about. This one? Not so much.

Still with the talking, Gremlin has moved onto "She's a grown up! But she's LITTLE! Like me!"

While again singing my "everyone's different" song, I gave the Whole Foods lady an apologetic smile and dragged my boys into another aisle.

With my hand over Gremlin's mouth.

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