Thursday, February 28, 2008

To Infinity...and Beyond!

"The definition of insanity is repeating the same actions over and over and expecting different results."

HRH: Mommmmm! RC is repeating me!

RC: Mommmmm! RC is repeating me!

Manic Mommy: He's doing it to get a reaction. If you stop reacting, he'll stop doing it.

HRH: RC stop repeating what I say.

RC: Stop repeating what I say.

HRH: MMMMMommmmmmyyyyyyyy!

RC: MMMMMommmmmmyyyyyyyy!

MM: He's doing it to get a reaction. If you stop reacting, he'll stop doing it.

HRH: Aaaarrrr Seeeeeee!!!! Stop repeating what I say!

RC: Stop repeating what I say!

HRH: MMMMMommmmmmyyyyyyyy!

RC: MMMMMommmmmmyyyyyyyy!

MM: He's doing it to get a reaction! If you stop reacting, he'll stop doing it!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

It Hurts to Type

Here's a quiz for you:

What do you get when you combine this:And this?
Answer: The Yoganatrix

We had a substitute for yoga today. Now, normally, the term "substitute teacher" makes me think of diagramming sentences (I use to love diagramming sentences, it really appealed to my sense of organization). Moreover, it makes me think of slacking off. Wrong!! (Insert annoying buzzer noise here.) Normally, Monday yoga features Lisa. She, of the 'Don't-do-this-posture-if-it-causes-any-discomfort/Would-you-like-a-backpress?'-Lisa. It's a nice way to ease into the week.

Today, we had Pa-tree-see-ah. Or perhaps it was she who had us. I should have seen bad things coming when we started off in Child Pose. Anyone not familiar with this yoga position may visualize Wayne and Garth in full we're-not-worthy-posture. Only instead of Alice Cooper, we were worshiping at the altar of Pa-tree-see-ah.

She's this beautiful, black-haired, petite Latina, with a mellifluous accent. When you've been holding in Proud Warrior so long that it feels more like Begging Peasant, she coos, "I know your legs are on fire but hold it for a moment longer...for me." And the thing is, like any good submissive, you find yourself wanting to please her. You want her to tell you "A-very good!"

So today, muscles that I've never used in nearly a year of "regular" yoga are waking up and kicking me in the head. At the end of class, I rolled over to my friend and fellow yogi and mused that if we were to follow the Yoganatrix's training for just a month or two, we'd be 120 pounds and CUT. Or we'd be dead.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Andy's Seven Things Meme

My friend, Sarah over at Slouching Past 40 targeted hand-picked me for this meme. Like her, I've done a few iterations myself and was really scraping the bottom of the barrel when I came up with the idea of doing a heme. I'm writing seven random facts about my husband.

1. Andy was an engineer in the merchant marines before going back to school for his post-grad. He once called me from England and mentioned that they'd collided with another ship and were awaiting repairs. He then didn't call me again until he was back on this side of the pond.

2. Andy is a great teacher. He has an amazing ability to isolate movement to make you understand what he's trying to teach. He taught me how to play a decent game of golf and is working on making me a better skier.

3. Andy's been skiing since he was about 4-years-old. When he was 8, he broke his leg, spinning it 360 degrees so his foot faced forward again. His 17-year-old sister performed an open field retraction (spun it back around) right there on the mountain. The surgeons said her actions saved him an operation. Andy's dad had his skiing again by Spring. After all, he'd bought him a non-refundable season pass.

4. Andy's all time favorite movie is Jaws. He can recite every line and will often throw a line of Jaws dialogue into any conversation. Our boat is named That Kintner Boy after the kid that got eaten by the shark.

5. Andy could be an historian. He lives for The History Channel and has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of several American wars. I can easily see him teaching when he retires. One of our dream vacation destinations is Normandy, France.

6. When we were dating, Andy introduced me to the gin and tonic. I tasted his one night at a restaurant and the next day, I came home from work to find him on my porch with a 'starter kit;' A bottle of Tanqueray, two liters of tonic water, and a few limes. We drank G&Ts all summer long.

7. Andy took a vacation day today because the boys were starting to feel better just as I'm starting to feel worse. There was blood in the water and the boys could smell it. Andy could too and so he took the day so I could have a day of R and R for myself. I think it worked too because although I don't feel 100%, I don't think I'm gonna be nearly as ill as the boys were (knocks wood).

Wow! That was so much easier than talking about myself. And because no good deed goes unpunished, I'm tagging the last few people who offered their advice and sympathies to my ill little family. Please don't stop commenting!

Our very own Suburban Correspondent from The More the Messier.
My new friend, Jenn at Juggling Life.
And JCK, the Motherscribe, who writes her life in poetry.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Flu to you too, Winnie the Pooh

This is the cover of today's Boston Globe. Below are my own headlines.

The boys have the flu. RC has the flu and double ear infections.

HRH is still running a temp but lower. He doesn't have the cough but does have a runny nose and is achy and tired.

RC is still running a temp well in the 102-103+ range, is coughing this horrible seal bark, has a runny nose, and just uncomfortable all over. He spent most of last night and a good chunk of today lying in my arms, whimpering.

This is the sickest either of them has ever been and I. don't. like it.

We spoke with the on-call doctor but opted to wait until this morning in order to see a pediatrician in our practice rather than making the run to the emergency room. They reran the flu test because they can often get a false negative if the test is administered too early. The treatment is still the same and he's on Amoxicillian for the ear infections.

Thanks everyone for your input on the cough suppressant issue. I did ask the pedi today about codeine. The answer I got was that the difference in the dose to stop the cough and stop the breathing is too slight in a child this young. Good enough for me.

So for now, HRH remains sick but making inconsistent progress toward better. RC is still really, really sick. I just want him to get some rest and show some improvement by morning. Then I'll worry about what to do if when Andy and I get it.

(with apologies for the spacing. Blogger has decided we'll either have one massive, run-on paragraph or huge gaps. I went with B as the lesser of evils)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Reason Number 573... hold off opening all Christmas presents at Christmas. The boys are off the couch today and already getting restless. My godmother gave us a giant bag 'o presents that I've had off in a corner waiting. And today was the day! This is HRH's really cool bumper car/maze. It even has two separate play surfaces and two bumper cars so when the boys start bumping each other, we just take down the little bridge connecting the two.

On the cough medicine front, I'm giving up on the Delsym. I didn't find the results to be overwhelming or at least worthwhile enough to justify the side-effects. Both boys had nightmares two nights in a row, which is a little too close for coincidence. I already have to contend with the bug keeping them awake, they don't need to have what rest they get interrupted by bad dreams.

I'm going with the tried and true; fluids, rest, time, and some very judiciously allocated medication (see Tylenol and Benadryl).

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The War, On Drugs

We went with Delsym (super-duper OTC cough suppressant) on the pedi's advice. I'm trying to keep them drug-free unless absolutely necessary so they're actually resting.

We've spent much of yesterday and the day before lying on the couch and watching every movie Disney ever made. We've also, colored, read books, done puzzles, played with play-doh, and eaten next to nothing.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A. to the M.A.

There's a question at the bottom, so decide now if you'd like to skip the brief timeline:

Saturday Eve:
- Neighborhood birthday party where one daddy is clearly in the throws of tuberculosis or other flesh eating disease, his four year old daughter clearly has "the sick eyes."
- His wife comes home late from work (Nurse practioner at a prison in central Mass). She was delayed due to admitting a patient with MRSA to the infirmary.
- We go on to discuss her family's three-week-long ailment/cold/undefined fever-thing at length.
- Thanks for comin'!

Monday Afternoon:
- HRH comes home from school with a note stating that one of his classmates has tested postive for strep and everyone has been exposed.

Tuesday Morning:
- HRH enters our bedroom with a 102 temp, complaining of sore throat.
- RC has a low grade temp and is coughing like a seal.
- Both semi-stuffy.

- Loooooooonnnnngggggg Daaaaaaayyyyyyy
- Was it really only yesterday?

Tuesday Afternoon:
- Visit to the pediatrician.
- Instant strep tests come back negative. Also negative for flu.
- But blood tests administered. Remember that scene in Gone with the Wind, where the doctor decides to amputate despite no anesthesia? HRH was channeling that during the finger prick episode.
- I apologize every mother waiting behind us with their kids now terrorized.
- Tylenol, Motrin, Benadryl recommended.

Tuesday Overnight/Wednesday early AM:
- Looooonnnnggggerrrrrr Niiiiiiigggghhhhhhhttt.
- RC up every two hours and coughing/crying in his sleep constantly.
- Also pees through every single layer of his nightclothes and bedclothes. Newly dried and changed RC ends up in bed with us.
- HRH comes in around 4:00 am with a zillion degree temperature, complaining that his head hurts.
- I leave to get juice and more meds but immediately reenter when his coughing fit leads to vomiting.
- On the bed.
- On my side.

Wednesday, 4:30 am:
- Andy and I have everyone back in their own beds and we are lying there on fresh sheets, punchy-tired but too keyed up to sleep.
- Andy seriously contemplates just getting dressed and going to work.

So. Here we are. It's Wednesday at 9:30 and I am totally going Against Medical Advice and seeking your input on the latest drug of choice for coughing.

Help me out here and let me know if you give your kids cough medicine and what you've used.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Game Called on Account Of...

So we've been looking to sign HRH up for tee-ball this spring and I finally got a lead on a website for our town. Unfortunately, their sign-ups had already taken place but the site listed the name and number of "Fred", who runs our town's little league. I called on Saturday and left a message.

We received a phone call yesterday afternoon and I recognized the name on caller ID. It wasn't Fred but his WIDOW, returning the call. She was audibly attempting to collect herself, stating in a tremulous voice that Freddy had just passed away a few weeks ago but she would be happy to give me another name and number. I of course apologized profusely for her loss and for bothering her. She was extremely gracious and agreed I could not have known. Nonetheless, my size 7 1/2's sure did taste great.

So today, I called the "new guy" and mentioned that they'd probably want to make sure to update the site immediately. His response? Uh, yeah, there's a lot of stuff we need to update on the site.

Dude, you wanna make this one a priority? Not for me (or any other unsuspecting parent not in the mood to feel like a total ass) but for poor Mrs. Freddy.


Saturday, February 9, 2008

And it goes something like this...

Scene: Friday, "Pizza Night" at our little Cabina Contenta.

Boys are busy in the living room with their little kid sized chairs pulled up to the distressed coffee table, eating pizza and drinking milk, and watching [Noggin] quality, educational programming.

Daddy has come home from work. He and Manic Mommy are sitting in the kitchen eating their own pizza having actual adult/how-was-your-day-dear-?-type conversation, ignoring the rapidly escalting lawlessness taking place two rooms away. The chaos spills into the kitchen, where MM notices that RC's shirt is splattered with liquid as if he had run through the sprinklers on a summer day.

MM: RC, what's on your shirt?

RC: Milk.

HRH (needing to be in the middle of it): We were playing 'spray' with our Diego cups and I won!

MM gives Daddy the 'you're fresh, you deal with this one' look.

Daddy: HRH, you know that's not how big boys behave. (More 'bad idea'-type words that, honesty, MM just can't remember.) Please go up to your room for a few minutes and think about that.

RC follows HRH to time out. Adult conversation continues for a few minutes until the children are summoned back downstairs.

Daddy: HRH, I want to talk to you about what you did and why it's wrong. Look at me. Look at me! Stop dancing. Don't touch that. Stand up. Grasps him by shoulders in fruitless bid for eye contact, shortens speech considerably, ending with: And I think you owe me an apology for not listening while I was talking.

HRH: Okay, Daddy. Sorry, RC.

RC: You're welcome.

Exit, stage left.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Let's Get Physical

At the exact moment when I'd just about had it with him, RC walks into the room with a large elastic rubber band wrapped around his forehead cro-magnon style, and absolutely cracked me up. Way to reinforce unwanted behavior, MM.

What was worse is that I immediately thought of this:

Then of this:

My little caveman:

*With apologies for the quality. Photo taken with my camera phone as the shutter on my five-month-old camera is broken. Wonder how that happened?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

You Make Me Smile

I'm not sure you'll be able to hear me over my new AWARD:

That's right, baby. That topaz and emerald beauty up there (and permanently located over there to your right) is my new bling. It is my very first award presented to me by my new best friend, KC at where's my cape?, wife, mother of two (one very recent), doctor, blogger, and all-around excellent judge of character.

She is someone who most definitely makes me smile. Read this and you will not only smile, you will laugh. out. loud. If you get my sense of humor.

Which KC does.

Friday, February 1, 2008

You Kiss your Mother with that Mouth?

Yesterday afternoon:

MM to RC: Bubba, will you give me a kiss?

RC: Sure, Mommy. I have lots of kisses in my mouth for you.

All together now: Awwww.

Fast forward to this morning:

Sitting in his carseat, RC crosses his right foot over his left, picks something off the bottom of his sneaker, puts it in his mouth and swallows it. All the while I'm yelling "Spit it out! Spit it out!" and grabbing his cheeks. What was it? Your guess is as good as mine.

I don't know if I want those kisses now...

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