I have two boys, ages two and nearly five. I love them as only another mother can understand. I say this with no fear of alienating or insulting their father. It was Andy who quoted Stephen King, of all people to me: "The soil of a man's heart is stonier. A man grows what he can... and he tends it." and understands that the love of a mother is just different from that of a father.
Put simply, I feel like there's someone else out there who's supposed to have our last name and make my two boys share the bigger bedroom. I turn 39 in a week and a half. As one of my very favorite bloggers, The New Girl, put it, "it's either now or never and I don't want the answer to be never."
So here I sit; firmly on the fence. Andy's pretty much on the fence, too - although definitely leaning to (d)one side. I have one very close friend who stopped at two and regrets it. I have other friends who went for the third and LOVE it. I know still more (okay, one) who has three and regrets/resents it.
I look at our little family, fitting neatly into the SUV but able to travel in the little compact when called upon and think, are we ready for a car with three rows? I look back at this past weekend at Storyland and think how much easier it is to say "you take him, I've got this one" and know everyone's covered.
It's the man-to-man vs. zone defense argument. It's reading all these posts about newborns never sleeping and remembering the overwhelming, crying-while-rocking-the-baby-in-the middle-of-the-night exhaustion. It's thinking about boy #1 in kindergarten, boy #2 going to preschool next year and me beginning design school. I think about all these reasons NOT to do it and still I think that I'm supposed to.
That's "supposed to" as in the universe, not society. I think about all those people who have told me that they knew they weren't done and that their last child completed their family in a way they did not even know was lacking. I think I might be one of them.
So, my friends, let me know. You lurker(s), comment! Give me your input. Email my link to your friends. I want it all - the opinions, the anecdotes, and the horror stories. How often do you have the opportunity to profoundly influence a total stranger's personal decisions?
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