Dear Mr. Gore,
Please excuse Christine from environmental global good citizenship today as she was cleaning the bathroom.
During this exercise (in futility), she utilized no green cleaning products. Resulting, in the senseless deaths of untold good bacteria and weakening the immune systems of not only her household but also everyone they will ever come in contact with. Furthermore, we believe the mustard gas created by the mingling of these chemicals has caused an actual hole in the Ozone Layer, the size of a juice box . Said hole is currently positioned directly above our house, as viewed by Google Earth.
Additionally, Christine used no less than 3/4 of a roll of 0% post-consumer recycled, white, paper towels, placing them into a plastic trashbag for pick up by a carbon monoxide-emitting waste transport vehicle (garbage truck). These, and numerous other potentially recyclable materials will then be shipped to an unknown landfill, where they will begin the slow process of decomposition, which will last well into the 22nd century.
Lastly, she ran water in both the tub and sink (sometimes simultaneously) and flushed the toilet approximately 40 times.
Christine's Remaining Brain Cells (not wiped out above-mentioned mustard gas incident)
ps She also uses plastic applicator tampons.
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