Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Marital Advice Monday *

Nearly a year and a half ago, I wrote this post all about when Andy and I went away for the weekend for our 40th birthdays. It was the first time in our parental life that we had together left the boys for two whole nights in a row. It was heaven. And we haven't done it since...until last Friday night.

News Flash! All that stuff I wrote about spending time away being important for a marriage and a soul? It's still there!  We're in a pretty meh place right now.  Compared to most, we're good and for that, I am eternally grateful.  But the day-to-day of winter/school/marriage/house/vitamin D deficient/job uncertainty/parenting still weighs and wears on us.

Last Friday, we shipped the kids off to Nana's where new toys, undivided attention, and late bedtimes awaited them, while we strolled off to Foxwoods for a 21-hour, anti-family vacation.  There, we didn't have deep discussions about our future; what school districts we need to look at, what needs to be done to our house and our debt ratio before we try and sell.  We didn't discuss the next phase of Andy's career or my education.

We had drinks in our hands within 10 minutes of checking in.  We ate appetizers for dinner at The Hard Rock Cafe.  We people-watched, played nickle slots and roulette, and joked about inconsequential things.  And you know what?  Underneath it all, our smiles are still there. 


And so, here is my advice to you:  Find a willing grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend, or mailman on whom you can foist your beloved children.  Leave extra food out for the cat.  Pack it up and head out of Dodge.  Everything will be there when you get back.  And maybe, just maybe, you'll get your groove back, too.


*title lovingly bastardized from my friend (and BlogHer '09 roomie) KC's hysterical Medical Advice Monday posts.

15 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

Agreed! It is so necessary to get away as a couple. We try to do a weekend away once a year. It's nice to just be a couple again. And you know what? I think the kids need a break from us, too ;)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

"Underneath it all, our smiles are still there." Awwww, that warms my heart! Good for you. Now of course you know the next thing...don't wait so long to do it again!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

We've been saying the same thing at our house...just a night or two away ALONE. I can't wait! I may talk to the mailman and see what his availability is for babysitting.

Glad you had a great time--nice photo!

Mommy, I'm Home said...

We do this every chance we get. It's the best thing for a marriage!

anya said...

I so agree! It's nice to stop being Mommy and Daddy for awhile, and reconnect. Unless you're into that....ha ha. Bow chicka wow wow.

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Brilliant. Getting regular "date time" was a pleasant side effect of shared custody after the divorce. Trust me, unless you want to be in my boat, make time now and frequently.

Kim said...

UGH! We have never had more than 24 hours without our kids in nearly 5years! I'm so jealous/envious/desperate...lol

Glad you had fun.

merlotmom said...

You are absolutely right. And, once again, you look fabulous.

Jason, as himself said...

Yes. And I love that you mentioned that you didn't really have any kind of deep conversations or important family discussions.

You just were. And it is crucial in a marriage to be comfortable with that without feeling that the silence is a bad thing.

Momma Hunt said...

Good for you. My hubby and I take advantage of willing grandparents all the time. Both of our parents love to take our son overnight for sleepovers which allows us some alone time. Although we don't often go somewhere, just the ability to be home alone, even going to the grocery store is a nice treat!!

Mama Goose said...

MUST make this happen THIS year. Thank you for the reminder.

G said...

Best advice anyone ever gave me was to get away from my children once in a while - it makes you a better Mom when you come back!

Glad you got away and had some adult time. ;)

G

Kristi from Small Things said...

Just stopped by for the first time, enjoying your stories. My husband and I went away for two nights to celebrate our 10th anniversary, the only time we've been away from the kids overnight since we got started 8 years ago. We need to fly-in a grandma more often!

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I totally agree. Getting out of your Trenches often gives you the kick in the butt reminder that you sorely need that "Hey, I really do like this guy."

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You had me at "drinks in their hands." Except I wouldn't be able to.

I'm glad you got to.

 

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