Monday, June 1, 2009

The Rhetorical Husband

1. Do we have milk?
(Hmm. If I had bought milk, where would I put it?)

2. Is this today's paper?
(Let's look at the top. Just below the words, The Boston Globe, what's right there?)

3. Do you know where I took off my watch?
(...?)

4. Do you want me to give Gremlin his bath?

(No! Please. Let me.)

5. Do you know if it's supposed to rain today?
(Well, my trick knee is throbbing...)

6. Do you know where the boys' shoes are?

(See #3)

7. Picks up phone and reads caller ID aloud: 866-222-1000?
(I'm gonna go with "telemarketer"...)

8. Should I have the boys wear their raincoats?
(Is it raining?)

9. Are you watching this?
(Uh-huh...)

10. Are you awake?


What questions do you answer (or ignore)?

17 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

yup, these sound right on. I can't tell you how many times I get asked the weather report...

natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

My favorite is when he calls me back after I've left 3 or 4 voice mails and asks, "Did you need something?"

No. I was just prank-calling you. All morning.

Good grief.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That is too funny.

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

I thought for a minute you were married to MY husband. But he would never ask 4, 6 or 8.

My favorite is when he calls the house phone and gets the message that I am ON THE PHONE and then calls my cell and says "Were you on the phone?" GAH!

Maggie May said...

ah! i needed this laugh, thank you.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read these or my keyboard would be a mess from laughing. It sounds like universal husband speak.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

My favorite is "do we have clean clothes for the kids?" (when he decided to help and get them dressed)

It's quite obvious who is in charge of laundry at my house.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

A lot of times my Hubby will make a statement, and then automatically say, "What?" BEFORE I'VE EVEN RESPONDED.

Grrr.

Otter Thomas said...

That is hilarious because I am guilty of all that and more. My wife could have a hay day listing my questions.

Funnyrunner said...

ooh I LOVE this post! Men cannot find a GD thing, and I have proven this because it's genetic in that my adolescent boys can't find something in front of their faces either. Mom, where's this, Mom where's that (always in front of their face)...

anymommy said...

Do you want me to take the kids outside?

Do pigs fly? Is the grass green? Hell, yes, please GO!

Your list is awesome.

Shawna said...

Aw the poor hubby! Some are legitimate questions! I can see how some of those get annoying though.

Stimey said...

Are you watching this? is my favorite. Alex does that too. C'mon, dude.

Also, that was totally my phone number. Thanks for publishing it.

Michele Renee said...

With three boys on different sports teams I keep a calendar next to the fridge color coded with who has what games and practices and times. Hubs will ask me while we are both in the kitchen "if we have anything going on after work the next day".

KC said...

These are classic. I personally like: Do you want me to make you a cocktail?

Jasmine said...

HAHA! Are you sure you aren't married to my husband?

anya said...

I love this post - what is it with men?? It's like having another child!

 

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