Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Past Life Regression

Two things have occurred recently that have converged to make me think about the lives I've lead.

I went to a funeral yesterday of my brother's boss. He's a perpetual student/bar manager. His boss owned a local bar/music club for the past forty years and happens to be our second cousin by marriage. Before we were married and had kids, Andy and I used to spend A LOT of time at the bar and knew a lot of people there. Since our time at the bar, a good friend from high school has picked up a second job there, working the door.

I was also solicited to join LinkedIn. If you haven't heard of it, it's a kind of professional, online network, where you sort of post your resume and can network with people you've previously worked with or others from their connections. There's very much a six degrees of separation quality to it. For example, I found my old boyfriend from high school is a contact of a former collegue of mine.

I was at the wake with my husband (my present and future), [avoiding] catching up with distant relatives (my childhood), seeing a good friend from high school (youth/teen/college years), and friends from the recent past (pre-marriage/pre-parenthood).

As a result of LinkedIn, I've heard from other old friends that I've known in my working life. I was mentioning one, my mentor when I first became what I consider a professional, to Andy and saying how nice it would be to go out to dinner with Bob and his wife, Ellen. Yeah, right. We can't make time to see family and 'best friends.'

I suppose I am living my third life.

Child
Single
Parent

Now we are close with our neighbors. Eventually these people will move to the backseat, too. I still have a Christmas card of a former neighbor out because I 'really will drop them a quick line to tell them how we're doing.' They live all of 45 minutes away and we've seen them once since they moved.

How quick it is that we become Christmas card friends. How infrequently we see the people we were once closest to. How often we become friends with people through circumstance or convenience. How sad to lose these close connections. How fortunate we are to be able to make new ones.

So many lives we lead and live.

8 comments:

Limbic Resonance said...

I hear ya. It gave me a moment of pause to reflect on my life in New England vs. my life now in Central PA after you e-mailed me the sad news.

JCK said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though it wasn't someone especially close, it sounds like it has made you reflect - as we all do.

LinkedIn can be pretty cool. I'm waay behind on responding to people.

Becoming Christmas card friends...well said. Friendships shift with time, especially ones you meet through your children.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

The older you get the more you see the distinct stages our life has--and the easier it is to understand moving on from people you were once so close to.

Jennifer H said...

At every new state, we are lucky to have the privilege of making sense of the one we're leaving behind.

I'm sorry for your loss.

~ Denise said...

We are not going to be friends with every person we meet in our life forever. Like you said, we go through different stages and with different stages come different types of friends.

I do believe there are lifetime friends that develop later in life that we hold on to especially close. You stick together because you are always on the same page and you change at basically the same time.

BTW, I'm on LinkedIn too!

G said...

Hi Chris,
It's Gail - I am a new blogger thanks to you! I may not be as witty as you are, but I might come up with something once in a while.
My blog is titled "That Little Dash In Between"
Take care and keep blogging! Thanks for the start!
G

HRH said...

It is true. At least you still have Christmas card friends. That is a start.

the new girl said...

I was just solicited to join Linkedin today. I had never heard of it and now it seems to be everywhere!

I get it TOTALLY about the lives. And about the changing nature of friendships.

 

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