Can I Get An "Oh, poor baby..."?

What Hurts When You have a Sinus Infection:

• Hot liquids
• Cold liquids
• Luke warm liquids
• Brushing your teeth 
• Mint tooth paste
• Trying to rinse mint toothpaste out of your mouth because it hurts
• Chewing
• The sensation of having your teeth pushed out from the inside
• Standing up
• Lying down
• Trying to sleep sitting up
• Sleep deprivation
• Focusing
• Swallowing horse pill-sized antibiotics 
• Stomach from antibiotics
• Stomach from ingesting copious amounts of Advil
• Touching your face
• Loud noises
• Bright lights
• Eyebrows
• Cheekbone
• Sensation of someone trying to push your eye out through the socket
• Your cheek resting against your jaw
• Puffing out your cheek so it doesn't rest against your jaw
• Hot food
• Cold food
• Ears
• Breathing through your mouth

What Doesn't Hurt When You Have a Sinus Infection:

• Standing under a hot shower with water beating on your face.

WWSD - What Would Stimey Do - Part 3-ish

Well, Stimey might be taking a vacation from her Junk Pyramid but here at my little cabina contenta, clutter and odor know no holiday! About a week ago, I started to notice a little puddle developing on the top shelf of the fridge, near the orange juice. So I did what most busy moms would do; I ignored it.

Next, I noticed that the bread (stored directly below the OJ) was also damp. This time, I went out on a limb, mopped it up and took a peek around; finding nothing but assuming (my children) someone had spilled something at some point.

We were away overnight Friday into Saturday and upon our return yesterday, the fridge smelled like we'd left it unplugged for a month, with a couple of gallons of ice cream in it, in July. NOT acceptable.

So today, I put on my Stimey cap (don't I wish I really had one!) and did the unthinkable. I took every single item out of the fridge, removed every single shelf and bin and scrubbed the em effer down.
Even the door!
At least I did it right before shopping so there was less to put back.


Alas, the fridge was squeaky clean but I had not discovered the cause of the leak and thereby, the odor. So it was on to the freezer. After pitching piles of petrified, freezer-burnt dinosaur chicken and syrupy Popsicles, I discovered one lone ice pack jammed against a vent-type thing way in the back. I peeled that off then chipped away at the layer of permafrost on the bottom of the freezer. And hope that I've resolved the issue.

Isn't this exactly how I wanted to spend my Sunday? In the process, I think I have found my all-time least favorite housewife-ly duty. So I have that little bit of enlightenment. Which is nice.


What is your most hated chore?

Mommy Fail

A few weeks ago, the boys and I sat down and made a list of SUPER FUN summer activities designed to keep us from killing each other active. Last week was our first full week of summer vacation. I consulted the list, we filled the sandbox, we played outside, we went to the bookstore, we went for walks, we had a playdate, we kept busy. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a D-. The weather was eh, the boys were wild, and mommy was impatient.

Following a book store fiasco (Gremlin threw a book across the kids section at me) and a grocery store nightmare (Gremlin screamed from one end of Stop and Shop to the other when I wouldn't purchase a Star Wars Transformer), I decided it must be the transition to both being home all the time. I had previously rejected a week of summer day camp this early in the season but perhaps it was time reconsider. On Friday, I called our local Boys and Girls Club to see if there were any openings for the Kid Squad day camp that three of Gremlin's school friends were attending for the week. Thank the Lord there was! Where. do. I. sign?!

This morning promptly at 9:(02), I dropped Gremlin and all his gear with his name Sharpied inside at the B&G Club. His cubby did not have a name on it, nor was there a little name tag waiting for him as the other kids had. I had also read the wrong info in the brochure and dismissal was at 1:00, not 12:00. So I had to go home and get a lunch. No big deal. We had signed up last-minute and besides, of the 20 kids in the group, at least 10-12 were from our preschool! After a few minutes of clingy/shyness, Gremlin was in his groove and happily said goodbye to me from his spot on the floor, playing with his friend, Jack.

While at home, I got a call from the Club. We were in the wrong class. They had placed him in the Tot-tivities group (ages 2, 3, and 4) not the Kid Squad group (ages 3, 4, and 5), which was, of course, full up. They were in the process of moving him to the other group. Uh-oh. Big deal. We agreed we'd play it by ear and get a prognosis from the teacher at noon, when the younger class is dismissed.

Sure enough, I arrived at noon and Gremlin was playing outside in the sand. The two groups had shared snack time and when they broke up for activities, this new teacher brought Gremlin back with her. As soon as he saw me, he burst into tears. I looked at his face streaked with dried tears and I wanted to cry. The teacher confirmed that he had been crying off and on since "the break up".

Of course he doesn't want to go back - although he would like to if he can be in the class with his friends. I'll call and try again to have them make an exception but hopes are not high. Sigh.

Where's that list again?

To-Worry List

Am I consistent enough?
Am I impatient?
Am I kind enough to myself?
Am I strict enough?
Am I taking myself too seriously?
Am I taking them too seriously?
Am I too hard on myself?
Am I too hard on them?
Am I too strict?
Are they developing friendships the way they should?
Are they happy?
Are they spoiled?
Are they too physical?
Did I read to HRH more than I read to Gremlin?
Do I change their sheets often enough?
Do I expect too little of them?
Do I expect too much from Andy?
Do I expect too much of them?
Do I expect too much of them?
Do I show enough patience?
Do I spend too much time on the computer?
Do I worry too much about how others perceive us?
Do I yell too much?
Do they eat enough vegetables?
Do they fight too much?
Do they have enough alone time with us?
Do they realize how much they are loved?
Do they spend enough time with Daddy?
Do they spend too much time on the computer/video game?
Do they watch too much TV?
Do we have enough rules?
Do we model behavior correctly?
Have I established clear behavioral guidelines?
He doesn't know all his letters, HRH did at this age.
How do I teach them empathy?
Is he too sensitive?
Should I force him to give up the pacifier?
Should I give them chores?
Should I give them vitamins?
Should we teach them more about religion?
What do I do when I reach the end of my rope?
What do their teachers think of me?
Why can't he play independently?
Why can't I admit I need help?
Why do I feel like I've failed if I get help?
Why do other moms seem to have it more together than me?
Why is this so hard?

Now what?

Piccup Andropov

"...what ever will you do with yourself once both boys are in school?"

7:00 - Wake up to 3 year old face 1/4 inch from face

7:30 - Dressing, breakfast, lunches

8:00 - Shower, dress, corral boys

8:30 - Leave for school

9:00 - Peel suddenly shy boy off self and leave for dentist

9:30 - Dentist

10:40 - Dry Cleaners

10:50 -Starbucks

11:00 - Stop and Shop

12:20 - Put away groceries

1:00 - Pick up RC

1:00 - Playground

2:15 - Post office, Library, Starbucks (yes, twice in one day)

3:00 - Pick up HRH

3:00 - 4:00 - Playground (yes, twice in one day)

4:05 - Stupidly come home for no apparent reason

4:20 - Leave to pick up niece at basketball

5:00 - Home. Blog. Wine.

5:15 - Make dinner

It's Just Another Manic Contest

Actually, it's my very first. I've been thinking about having a contest for while now. I've already got the prizes (note: prizes, plural). But quite frankly, couldn't come up with what the contest part would be.

The it hit me. The ultimate navel gazing self-absorbed Seinfeldian/Bloggy moment: I'll have a contest about...having a contest!

Da Rulz:

1. Leave a comment telling me what type of contest I should hold.
- Should I ask you to guess the next disgusting thing to go near my child's mouth?
Why invite bad karma for the sake of a contest?
- Should I ask you to guess the boys' real names?
I'd prefer to stay married.
- Should I do the movie meme again?
I'm cynical realistic. Too easy to cheat.

2. All entries must be submitted by 11:59 pm Eastern Standard Time Monday, November 10th.

3. During this time, you may submit additional comments lobbying for your favorite entry.

4. Winners will be decided by ME.

5. I will post the Top Three Winners sometime on Wednesday, November 12th.

Da Prizes:

1st Prize: The Bible, The Wine Bible
2nd Prize: A bottle of Manic Mommy's Finest

(Look for the package marked "cooking oils")

3rd Prize: A $10.00 Starbucks gift card, just in time for Egg Nog Lattes!

So, think funny, think clever, think about a decent Merlot! And think about telling your friends and readers. You know how I feel about putting myself out there waiting for you guys to reply. Can't wait to see what you come up with.

* While family member and employees of She's Just Another Manic Mommy, LLC. Are not eligible to win prizes (although it would certainly save me a bundle in shipping charges), they are encouraged to participate nonetheless.

DaVinci Has His Last Supper, I Have This

Nearly two years ago, we were hosting Christmas at our house. As we were piling the food onto the table and guests and family members settling themselves in, I opened a couple of bottles of wine and began pouring. As I did so, I called out "Who wants Merlot?".

From the living room, the 1 1/2 year old voice of RC answered enthusiastically "I do!".

It's gone on to become a standing family joke, with someone or other yelling out the question and the rest of us replying, Marco Polo-style.

Today, HRH brought this home from school:

DaVinci can have his Last Supper, I'm going to frame this work of art to be immortalized in our dining room.

We Can't Have Nice Thingz - The (letter between R and T) Edition

Five Weekz. I don't know what I'm complaining about. I mean, my lovely, lovely laptop waz whole and complete with all 26 letter keyz pluzz all thoze otherz for a whole five weekz.


Now we have thiz:
And, following my attemptz at repair, we have thiz:



(Iz it juzt me or doez four piecez for a button the zize of my ring finger pad zeem a little excezzive?)





Damn you, June Cleaver Nirvana and your damn Pot Luck! If I weren't on your zite, RC might have actually recieved my attention and not climbed onto my lap to flick the (letter between R and T) right off my keyboard!

What waz that? You were zerving me up an AWARD when thiz occurred?



Um. Never mind. I'm delighted! You make my day everyday! Ezpecially thoze witty and wonderful pot luckz!

Won Word Meme

Last week, I joined AllMediocre in the interest of getting a little more traffic to my site (cause I need validation like that) and I'm always interested in reading blogs that might have something in common with mine. Since then, I've been having a good time linking around (cause I'm a bit of a blog slut like that) and reading new friends.

Tonight, I linked onto A Mom Two Boys (cause it sounds familiar) and was on post number 5 or 6 before I realized that it was Meghan who had actually founded All Mediocre (cause I'm sharp like that).

Meghan was tagged with a meme in which you have to answer each question with only one word. Her answers were cute and funny but what made them unusual was that she included a second set of answers expanding on her original single-word answer. I'm stealing both the meme and the extended mix version (cause I like to pay homage like that). I'm also adding A Mom Two Boys to my feeds (cause I like her style).

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag

2. Your significant other? Andy

3. Your hair? Curly

4. Your mother? Me

5. Your father? Dead

6. Your favorite thing? Sleep

7. Your dream last night? ??

8 Your favorite drink? Wine

9. Your dream/goal? Retirement

10. The room you’re in? Kitchen

11. Your hobby? Yoga

12. Your fear? Trouble

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing

14. What you’re not? Confident

15. Muffins? Eh

16. One of your wish list items? Bath

17. Where you grew up? Bostonish

18. The last thing you did? TV

19. What are you wearing? Shorts

20. Favorite Gadget? Cell

21. Your pets? Superfluous

22. Your computer? New!!

23. Your mood? Eh

24. Missing someone? Yeah

25. Your car? Hazmat

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

27. Favorite store? Target

28. Like someone? Huz

29. Your favorite color? Green

30. When was the last time you laughed? 4:00-ish

31. Last time you cried? Years

Now the DJ-AM Extended Club Mix:

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse. Mostly dead. I have to remember to charge it when I'm home because the majority of my car trips are too short to get a good charge.

2. Your significant other? Andy. Just called me into the living room to watch Princess Leah in chains

3. Your hair? Curly. I got it cut over a week ago but still haven't bothered to style it because it's been too humid. And humid + curly = frizz.

4. Your mother? Me. I know what I'm going to be 22 years from now. Always have.

5. Your father? Dead. I let that sleeping dog lie.

6. Your favorite thing? Sleep. Sad, but at this juncture, probably true.

7. Your dream last night? I dreamed a 3-year-old kept getting out of his bed and coming into mine. Oh...wait...

8 Your favorite drink? Wine or maybe Tea. No. Wine.

9. Your dream/goal? Retirement. Summer on the Cape. Winter in Naples, Fl. Freelancing if we want to. And as long as it doesn't interfere with travel or golf.

10. The room you’re in? Kitchen. Because I need to be sitting at a table or desk to type well.

11. Your hobby? Yoga. It goes with that whole mind/body/spirit thing I'm working on.

12. Your fear? Trouble. AKA something bad happening to my family.

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing. The plan is that after the boys are in school full time, I go back to Boston Architectural College to study interior design. It's good to be nearly 40 and finally figure out what you want to be when you grow up.

14. What you’re not? Confident. I'll let that one stand alone for now as well

15. Muffins? Eh. Brownies on the other hand...

16. One of your wish list items? Bath. As in Master. Whenever we talk about a new house, that is an absolute. The definition of true luxury.

17. Where you grew up? Bostonish. Basically, I've lived in two towns my whole life.

18. The last thing you did? TV. I love almost anything on HGTV. Tonight it was Curb Appeal and Hidden Potential. I can't be bothered to link them.

19. What are you wearing? Shorts. It's 9:46 and still 80 degrees outside. The kitchen temp is 74.7 in case you were interested.

20. Favorite Gadget? Cell phone. I don't know anyone's phone number, I just know their speed dial. I also keep my appointments in there, and take lots of pictures.

21. Your pets? Superfluous. Not true but I needed just one word. They were my practice babies. While we're on vacation, we're making my sister stay at my mother's house so Maddie doesn't need to go to a kennel because at 8 years old, my dog has never spent a single night by herself. I don't think she knows she's a dog and not a person.

22. Your computer? New!! The funny thing is I needed a laptop so I could blog anywhere yet somehow I always end up in the kitchen.

23. Your mood? Eh. I'm in kind of a weird place right now. The boys are kicking my ass and I'm having trouble getting back in the zone.

24. Missing someone? Yeah. My best friend, Chris. It's a long story.

25. Your car? Hazmat. Not only is it my car but it's the family car, too. Just today, I proposed we hang onto it for a boat hauler/winter vehicle for Andy because the trade in will be junk anyway. This will leave me free to get something that still works for the kids and us but has a little more style/better fuel economy. I'm thinking possibly a CR-V.

26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes. Now it's 79.7 degrees outside

27. Favorite store? Target. Where else can you go to buy a printer ink cartridge, personal lubricant, and five pounds of almonds? Exactly.

28. Like someone? Huz. Andy and I have these 'dates' where we sit in the kitchen, drink wine, and talk. It's sort of nice after 8 years of marriage to still have something to say to one another.

29. Your favorite color? Green (like my cooking)

30. When was the last time you laughed? Earlier. When I came downstairs and found a naked RC coming in the back door stating "I just peed on the deck."

31. Last time you cried? Years. My mom calls us 'the frozen chosen.' Just keep pushing those emotions down, pushing them down.

And hey, look! I'm breaking with tradition and tagging JCK at Motherscribe (cause she's going to Blogher and I'm soooo envious) and Fran at Merlot Mom (cause she is too, dammit!).

Like The New Girl Always Says: "Ask the Internets"

I hate potty training. It's like Groundhog Day for mommies; discuss, cajole, bribe, clean, repeat. Dozens and dozens of times.

I had fooled myself early on. The boys often take baths together and of course, HRH always uses the potty prior to entering the tub. RC was always fascinated with the process and HRH was only too happy to show off his skills in the art of urination. I said to myself and Andy, "potty training with this one's is gonna be a piece of cake". Um yeah. Pride cometh before a fall - or in this case, summer. For a while, RC has clearly displayed all the signs of readiness and I've half-heartedly tried to introduce him to using the toilet. He is not interested. Let me repeat; he wants no part of it.

Last week, RC stepped it up a notch. In addition to removing his own diaper if it was wet, he's begun to take it off immediately after he poops as well, sometimes allowing the contents to drop onto the floor. Upon the first such incident last week, I was dealing with the diaper and the floor while he started running around trying to back into everything - and practically sitting on our poor dog, saying menacingly "I'm gonna get poops on you!"

So now we've got the sticker chart, I've purchased the Halloween sized bags of M&Ms as a bribe for sitting on the potty, I've told him kids with diapers can't go to preschool, and I've promised the kid a BIKE once he's done with diapers.

He's just plain not interested. If it weren't for the shitting in the house thing, I'd probably just blow it off for another month or two. But clearly this activity has upped the ante and it needs to be addressed. The problem is that like so many areas of RC's personality, I'm out of ideas. I don't want to make it a negative but clearly he can not relieve himself where ever he damn well pleases.

Help me Obi Wan; you're my only hope.

Signed -

Pouting About the Potty

Why I Spell Kenmore with an F

Before:

After:

I can't even blame the boys for this one. Just really cheap parts.

We Can't Have Nice Things - Birthday Edition

And with the third birthday, comes the third birthday present from Nana. Behold, the Fisher Price Batmobile ATV: Last night, fearing potential rain damage, I grabbed it from the front lawn and deposited it in the dining room. Rookie mistake.
This is what the hall floor now looks like. The round-ish scrapes are actually about the size of a quarter and go right down to the bare wood.

It's an outside toy. Serves me right for trying to shower.

You Can Call Me Al

Dear Mr. Gore,

Please excuse Christine from environmental global good citizenship today as she was cleaning the bathroom.

During this exercise (in futility), she utilized no green cleaning products. Resulting, in the senseless deaths of untold good bacteria and weakening the immune systems of not only her household but also everyone they will ever come in contact with. Furthermore, we believe the mustard gas created by the mingling of these chemicals has caused an actual hole in the Ozone Layer, the size of a juice box . Said hole is currently positioned directly above our house, as viewed by Google Earth.

Additionally, Christine used no less than 3/4 of a roll of 0% post-consumer recycled, white, paper towels, placing them into a plastic trashbag for pick up by a carbon monoxide-emitting waste transport vehicle (garbage truck). These, and numerous other potentially recyclable materials will then be shipped to an unknown landfill, where they will begin the slow process of decomposition, which will last well into the 22nd century.

Lastly, she ran water in both the tub and sink (sometimes simultaneously) and flushed the toilet approximately 40 times.

Sincerely,

Christine's Remaining Brain Cells (not wiped out above-mentioned mustard gas incident)


ps She also uses plastic applicator tampons.

The War, On Drugs

We went with Delsym (super-duper OTC cough suppressant) on the pedi's advice. I'm trying to keep them drug-free unless absolutely necessary so they're actually resting.

We've spent much of yesterday and the day before lying on the couch and watching every movie Disney ever made. We've also, colored, read books, done puzzles, played with play-doh, and eaten next to nothing.

A. to the M.A.

There's a question at the bottom, so decide now if you'd like to skip the brief timeline:

Saturday Eve:

- Neighborhood birthday party where one daddy is clearly in the throws of tuberculosis or other flesh eating disease, his four year old daughter clearly has "the sick eyes."

- His wife comes home late from work (Nurse practioner at a prison in central Mass). She was delayed due to admitting a patient with MRSA to the infirmary.

- We go on to discuss her family's three-week-long ailment/cold/undefined fever-thing at length.

- Thanks for comin'!

Monday Afternoon:

- HRH comes home from school with a note stating that one of his classmates has tested postive for strep and everyone has been exposed.

Tuesday Morning:

- HRH enters our bedroom with a 102 temp, complaining of sore throat.

- RC has a low grade temp and is coughing like a seal.

- Both semi-stuffy.

Tuesday:

- Loooooooonnnnngggggg Daaaaaaayyyyyyy

- Was it really only yesterday?

Tuesday Afternoon:

- Visit to the pediatrician.

- Instant strep tests come back negative. Also negative for flu.

- But blood tests administered. Remember that scene in Gone with the Wind, where the doctor decides to amputate despite no anesthesia? HRH was channeling that during the finger prick episode.

- I apologize every mother waiting behind us with their kids now terrorized.

- Tylenol, Motrin, Benadryl recommended.

Tuesday Overnight/Wednesday early AM:

- Looooonnnnggggerrrrrr Niiiiiiigggghhhhhhhttt.

- RC up every two hours and coughing/crying in his sleep constantly.

- Also pees through every single layer of his nightclothes and bedclothes. Newly dried and changed RC ends up in bed with us.

- HRH comes in around 4:00 am with a zillion degree temperature, complaining that his head hurts.

- I leave to get juice and more meds but immediately reenter when his coughing fit leads to vomiting.

- On the bed.

- On my side.

Wednesday, 4:30 am:

- Andy and I have everyone back in their own beds and we are lying there on fresh sheets, punchy-tired but too keyed up to sleep.

- Andy seriously contemplates just getting dressed and going to work.

So. Here we are. It's Wednesday at 9:30 and I am totally going Against Medical Advice and seeking your input on the latest drug of choice for coughing.

Help me out here and let me know if you give your kids cough medicine and what you've used.

Inside the Over-Reactor's Studio

Guys, this was so fun. Thanks for coming through for me. And the Oscar goes to...

Phoenix wanted to know...

1. Favorite Book of all time?
Such a hard question. Recently? I've read all the Harry Potters with varying degrees of enjoyment but most enjoy sharing the thoughts, and ideas, and messages with my nieces. I liked DaVinci Code by liked Angels and Demons much better. I was thinking about all the Judy Blumes that I read as an adolescent and how really, really great they were.

Then I came up with Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. It was assigned reading my sophomore year in high school and it's stayed with me to this day. It's a sort of pre-Orwellian look at the future in an engineered society but with British humor and insight.

2. What the heck are your kids names?
HRH is His Royal Highness. That pseudonym was easy because he was the first grandchild born on Andy's side of the family who actually lived in this state. He is the second coming in the eyes of my MIL and SIL. Not such a bad thing. Except when he starts to believe his own press - or worse, when I do. RC is for Roger Clemens. Because he throws. EVERYTHING. I would have used Monkey but it was already taken. I think about changing RC's pseudonym but then find myself using it in emails to people I know IRL.

3. What made you want to blog?
Desperation. I stopped working (for money) in October of 2006. By March I was going insane. I joined the gym for sanity and yoga. One day, HRH had a complete meltdown in the parking lot of the gym and I found myself yelling back like a four-year-old; "It's not fair!" and I realized I needed to find a few like-minded people to rant to and have rant back. I think it's worked out pretty well.

4. How did you meet your husband?
Andy's version is that we met at Hooters. Anyone who has seen me and my girls knows this is not true. We were a set up. I was headed into town with my girlfriends and a friend at work told me to come to this bar where her friend's band was playing. Her husband is Andy's cousin, who had also been told to 'come hear the band'. The best part is that RJ Fitz, the bar in Boston where we met, was actually bought out by Hooters.

merlotmom asks...
5. If your husband gave you permission to sleep with one person, just once, of course, who would it be?
Not a second of hesitation or forethought needed because he knows and I have a list. Number one is Kevin Bacon. I loved him in Footloose and every movie since. He works for me. Big. Time. Like Bossy and John Cusak without The Thompson Twins playing in the background.

I loved this question and often ask it of others. Andy's number one is Salma Hayek.

slouching mom said...
6. How does your husband feel about your blogging?

He views it as a necessary evil. Kind of like antibiotics. He recognizes the value of my being able to relate to others even if he can't totally understand it. He likes my stories and likes the way I write, so that's a bonus. He definitely keeps the safety of our family at the forefront of his mind.

***as I was finishing up this post, Andy opened the door and said "you're not going to answer the names question, are you?" ***

Jen said...
7. Who's your favorite neighbor?

Yes, those Cheeky Little Monkeys are my neighbors. And they are the best you could ask for. We're thinking of taking them with us when we move. But don't worry, New Girl. She doesn't know my real name either.

8. What do you miss most about "life before kids"?

SLEEP. Actually, I miss just hanging out with my husband. We used to call each other at the end of the work day and decide if we were headed home or headed straight to our bar (where everyone knows your name) and meet up with all our other DINK friends.

And speak of the devil, the new girl asks...
9. What really scares you?

I guess you need to define 'really.' I'm terrified of centipedes, I don't like torture porn, and I'm medium-claustrophobic but what *really* scares me, is anything happening to my kids. Especially if it were in my presence and outside of my control. We couldn't even keep watching Syriana after Matt Damon's son dies. Thank you for getting all morbid on me. :-)~

JCK wanted to know...
10. Do you blog at the same time every day or at different times?

It's funny you ask this because I have noticed that most of us do it after 8:00 pm ET. I'm thinking bed time? Anyone?

I kind of have a pattern; I wake up, quickly check emails and blogs while getting the kids ready for the day, check/read/possibly write while RC is down for his nap, provided HRH is otherwise happy and engaged. Lastly, I check in post-kids' bedtime. Andy and I wrangle for computer time as we only have one currently working.

Mimi cracked me up with...
11. I don't know you at all: sum it up on one sentence?

Insecure, 39-year-old SAHM still waiting to feel like a grownup, with two brilliant, infuriating preschoolers, married to a man I like and love and deciding whether or not to 'go for the girl' before the timer runs out.

There you have it; in one big fat, run-on sentence.

ImpostorMom said...
12. What is the thing you like to do most with "you" time?

I really enjoy yoga. It relaxes and rejuvenates me. I would also like to look into meditation learn more about wine.

sue asked...
13. If you could go back to one moment in time and change it, what would the moment be and how would you change it?

October, 1989. I would un-meet Scott.

JCK said...
O.K., I have another one. How did you get so damn funny? Your comment about Sawyer on my blog made me almost pee my pants. I agree!!

I'm not going to answer this. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear that at least one other person in the blogisphere gets my sense of humor. Thank you JCK, clearly you rock.

Ask Wifey said...
14. I love your "Mommy's Time Out" wine bottle. Which do you prefer - white or red?

Oh, I'm an equal opportunity Whino. I've been on reds for a few years now. I love Pinot Noir, Merlot, Cabernet, and Andy and I brought home 11 bottles of Chianti from our honeymoon in Italy. That being said, I love freezing cold Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio in the summer and found an absolutely wonderful Chablis through a local wine store.

KC's question was...
15. If you had an extra hour in your day, how would you spend it?

SLEEPING. God, I fear this is true. Either that or I'd probably use it for another thankless, endless endeavor like folding clothes or cleaning. If it were a guilt-free enriching hour, see question 12. The idea of attending a wine course holds a lot of appeal as does working on 'me.'


Thank you again for not making me feel like a fool with no questions. The only thing I'd add is how fun and funny it is to relate your stories to other people and phrase it as, "my friend" did or said this...I've achieved what I wanted to in blogging; realizing that while I'm unique, there are a lot of us out there.

We've Had a Good Run

Two years, eight months, and sixteen days. Really. Anyone would agree that with a kid as active and agile as RC, two years, eight months, and sixteen days really was more than you could hope for. I mean to have two years, eight months, and sixteen days of putting him in his crib and having him stay there until one of us retrieved him was a pretty good run.

Two minutes ago, I put RC back upstairs - on the second floor - for a nap, for the fourth time. And for the fourth time, RC is now joining me at the computer. Downstairs. In the basement. It's not a fluke. Or a one time occurrence. Things have just gotten exponentially more interesting at our house. I. am. so. screwed.

Mark This Date

December 19, 2007 2:30 pm EST - Manic Mommy resents Santa for the first time ever.

HRH and I are leaving the craft store with $26.00 worth of crap crafts. Specifically, we bought the molds, chocolate, sticks, and wrappers to make cute little Christmas lollypops. We also bought coloring/sticker books. Apparently, I missed the memo that this year, we'll be giving small presents to each of our classmates at preschool.

HRH is only in a class of nine kids so it's not a huge deal but we also do Halloween treats, cupcakes for birthdays, and one intrepid mommy actually had Thanksgiving gifts. I would have to say it's out of control. God knows I feed into it as much as the next mom. But I digress.

As we're leaving the store, HRH states that I've hurt his feelings because I always say no when he wants to buy something. This time, "something" was the entire display box of cheap Hot Wheels candy. (In his defense, I don't think he realized they weren't a set). I went into a my song and dance about how it's a mere six days from Christmas when we will awaken, run downstairs in our PJs, and marvel at the wonder of all that Santa has generously provided.

And I got a blank stare. Santa is the one who goes to all the trouble, money, time, thought, and energy. Mom and Dad are just the ones who videotape the aftermath. Irrationally, I thought, "so why does Santa get all the glory?".

I also wondered if we're doing a good enough job instilling the proper values in our children. I grew up without much money and sometimes felt that I was missing out on things that my friends had. In reality, it was the crazy father that upset our homelife rather than the lack of another Barbie. Still, even knowing this, I tend to overcompensate; big birthday parties, big over-the-top Christmas, small purchases almost whenever they ask.

Is the result that my kids take things for granted or do they know that these things they have are hard-won? We talk about kids who don't have enough, we talk about giving to others. We try to model all these values but really, how do you instill a sense of gratitude in a preschooler - and how do you know if you're doing enough?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Ed: Got an email from a friend providing me some perspective along with this little pearl of wisdom:

"It's like Jeffrey Dahmer writing a book on food. "

JOY BEHAR ~ on celebrity mom Lynne Spears' upcoming book on parenting, which has been delayed indefinitely after her 16-year-old daughter, Jamie Lynn, announced that she was pregnant. ]

Priceless

11.17.07 - Andy's sister visits for HRH's birthday. I decide it would be fun to go with MIL, SIL, Andy, and Boys to lunch at TGI Fridays (where they don't so much mind the screaming) so the waitstaff can sing Happy Birthday to HRH. It becomes apparent that it would be best if we left the restaurant prior to dessert. Cake at Casa Contenta (our house) instead.

11.18.07 - HRH's actual birthday. Dinner with my mother, dessert with my sister, her boyfriend, and my brother. Leftover cake and ice cream. More singing ensues.

11.19.07 - Teacher asks me if I'll be having cupcakes for the class. Seemed a little gratuituous since we've invited the entire class to the party but what the hell? In for a penny, in for a pound. Run to bakery and buy a dozen Thanksgiving colored cupcakes.

11.22.07 - Thanksgiving at our house. Eight for dinner. Thirteen for dessert. No cake but pie!

11.24.07 - HRH's "real" birthday party at "The Jumpy Place" - one of those converted warehouses filled up with inflated slides, bouncy houses, tunnels, and mazes. Featuring his entire class of nine, seven neighborhood kids, ten cousins, at least one parent for each kid, and a partridge in a pear tree. Diego cake, Hoodsies (are Hoodsies only a MA thing?), Diego balloons, Diego-colored decorations, huge 5 pinata, pinata-appropriate candy, pizza, soda, water, and juice boxes.

Not having to deal with this shit again until RC turns 3 in April: Priceless.

Oh. Right. Christmas.

Cake anyone?

We Can't Have Nice Things - 2 - The Car

As I was taking these pictures, then downloading them, I had to decide if I was too emabarassed to show them. I guess I have no shame. For ease of reference, I've divided the pictures into specific sections.

I. PHYSICAL DAMAGE:

A. No good deed goes unpunished.

Andy was away on business at the same time that my youngest sister totalled her car (I know, bad omen). Rather than her shelling out the money on a rental, I told her to take my truck for a few days while Andy was traveling and I'd drive his car. How can I get mad at her when she was hit and run in a parking lot? I can't - Andy can get a 'little' mad...

B. Why Andy can't be mad at my sister anymore.

I previously mentioned Andy's boat, That Kintner Boy and that he'd gotten most of the parts from Ebay. One such part involved a drive to a farm in Rhode Island. After carefully loading the parts into the back of the truck in big plastic bins to keep the back neat, he proceeded to drive into a huge boulder located directly in front of where he'd parked my truck.

C. From dual zone control to zero zone control (what a metaphor).

As a child, I fondly remember sitting in my friend's father's car and playing "driving" and thinking my parents were total party poopers for not letting us play in their cars. Uh, well, if you look closely, you'll see the shiny copper of a penny stuck in the bottom of the slots where the heat/AC controls should go. Attempting to remove the loose change (the penny has friends) cost us both hand controls. We now rely on a old house key to adjust the heat. Very handy.

II. TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

A. Can you say "peripheral vision impairment"?

Last year, HRH was having some difficulty with some of his pronunciation, so we signed him up for speech therapy. After each session, the therapist would give him a sticker for a job well done. After the first visit, he was so proud of his sticker, he asked if he could place it on the window. I, of course agreed. Never in my wildest imaginings did I envision just how many places will hand out stickers to preschoolers when asked using perfect diction and an adorable smile. You may recognize the top ones as the labels Starbucks uses to denote different blends of coffees. They're the kids' favorites.

B. The 'way back' Mr. Peabody.

Here we've got leis and stuff from the Jimmy Buffett concert on Labor Day, my yoga bag, grocery bags (I'm so green), hand-me-downs returned by my sister more than a week ago that still haven't made it into my house, the stroller, an extra sweatshirt or 12, and to be honest, I just don't know what else.

III. SUPERFUND SITES

A. Harboring that Supervirus Bossy Mentioned

This is the door handle on RC's side of the car. Other than the lollypop sticks, I really can't identify the what else is there. I don't open or close his door from the inside so it took me a while to even notice this petrie dish.

B. What? His Feet Don't Touch The Floor

This is the floor in front of the seat where I allow my child to sit. Whatever he's got in his hands, gets immediately dumped - M&Ms, goldfish, vanilla milk from Starbucks, giant M&M cookie from Starbucks (are we sensing a pattern here?) orange crackers, etc. I know; stop letting him eat in the car. NOT AN OPTION.

** In answer to the question all of you are asking, yes, these pictures did shame me into taking the car to the good car wash that vacuums it out for you. And yes, I tipped well.