Counting Our Blessings

"The Eagle Has Landed."

"Our Long, National Nightmare is Over."

"ANDY GOT A JOB!!"

And it's good one!  Great company, great package, great opportunity, seven and a half miles from our house...basically...GREAT!

My cousin, who went through something similar, said she felt like God had picked them up by the scruff of their necks, and was shaking them saying "Learn. Learn."

Since November 30th, that image has played through my mind hundreds of times and I'll ask "What am I learning?".  The answer is plenty.

I learned that we have friends and family who have our backs. 

In particular, I think of Andy's best friend, John.  Like all adults with kids, and spouses, and jobs, and responsibilities, for years, Andy and John haven't seen each other as much as they'd like.  Starting Andy's last day of work, John has faithfully called several times a week, they text often, and have met almost every week since for lunch. 

Of Andy's cousin, Mike, who has put Andy in touch with people that Andy should network with, generally kept the lines of communication open, and always checked in to see what was up.  We spent New Years Eve at their place on the Cape.

Andy's oldest brother, Greg who lives several states away but simply acted as a sounding board when Andy needed another ear or another voice.

There were others, friends at school, our neighbors, Facebook friends that I haven't 'seen' in years, and of course, my Blog Buddies.  So many people in our corner, sending leads, lending support, saying prayers.  And meaning it.

I learned that there are plenty worse things than going into Year 8 in our Five Year House.  I hope I learned what's really important because right now, I feel blessed.

Thank you all so much.  I'm so happy to be able to share this news with you.

To Whom It May Concern - The "Where Have You Been 'Young' Lady?" - Edition

January -
Dear Funky Mammogram, what a great way to start off the year!  But thanks for being there for me.

March -
Dear Needle Biopsy, you are not nearly as painful as your name would suggest.  I am so glad you turned out to be a negative guy.  Positive can be such a downer sometimes, y'know?

April -
Dear Gremlin, we made it!  You're five years old.  I know it was touch and go for a while there - especially during those terrible twos (and threes) but here we are!  Thank you, I love you.

May -
Welcome acquiring company!  Thank you for asking! I'd love a large Blue Cross Blue Shield with a PPO and a side of dental.  What's that?  You've just got New Coke, circa 1985.  Oh, I guess that'll be almost as good.  Thanks.

June -
Dear company that strung us along for the past six months with promises of the ideal job only to go with nepotism in the end.  This is me, pointing two fingers up to my eyes then pointing them toward you, then pointing two fingers up to my eyes then pointing them toward you. Understood?

July -
Dear Andy, have fun at the trial in Texas.  Sorry you had to miss our Cape vacation.  With your family. And our anniversary.  I mean our 10th anniversary.

September -
Dear Birthday,  beginning in 2011, you will take place sometime in May. I hope this change isn't too inconvenient to you but I think you'll agree that a time not coinciding with the first week of school will allow us some more time to enjoy one another's company.

November -
Dear Former Company, Pfffft!
Dear Lymphoma, just like a coward, you bring a knife to a gun fight.  Back the eff away from my friend.  Good boy. Now stay...staaay...

Dear 2010,
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Dear 2011,
Welcome, my year of health, prosperity, happiness, new job, and new house!  Treat me right and I'll recommend you to all my friends.  Treat me wrong and I'll make you wish you were 2001.

Put On Your Sunday Clothes...

Dear Gremlin,

I would like to make a date with you every day for the rest of your life to sit on the couch and snuggle and watch WALL-E. 

I know that you're a big boy now; you're in Kindergarten for goodness sakes!  Kindergarten! You sit at the kitchen table and do your homework along side your big brother. We talk a lot about letters and numbers and sounds and words.  You and Daddy played War with cards nearly every night this week.  Since you've been back in school all your learning and thinking and doing has just accelerated. 

And I want to tell you a little secret, when you hold my hand with both of yours and tell me you hate school and you want to stay home with me? A big part of me wants to let you. Even after nearly a month, leaving the playground after drop-off all by myself still feels really strange - and kind of lonely.  You're growing up.  It shows in your struggles and in facing your fears by walking in that door and making new friends and going to gym and music and computers (you're not too crazy about art...).

Then, you and Wall-e sing along to "Put on Your Sunday Clothes" with Cornelius and Barnaby...

Close your eyes and see it glisten, Portabee.
Listen, Portabee!

And you're my baby again.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

For Christmas, Gremlin received a Fisher Price Power Wheels battery powered Mustang.  He's literally worn the wheels out driving it and Dad needed to order some new ones, which came the other day.

Further confirmation I chose the right person to be my sons' father:

Ten Years

+

=

Love You, Babe.  Happily.  Ever and After.

Always Say "Thank you".

Dear Mrs. M.,

As the school year draws to a close, I wanted to thank you so much for everything you’ve done this year. As we've discussed, the transition from preschool to kindergarten was a particularly rocky one for HRH (perhaps more so for his mommy). We had originally looked to St. Somewhere’s due to a misguided belief that the public schools in Manickville could not meet the needs of our son. We could not have been more wrong. In every area where St Somewhere’s failed, New School has flourished! I’m so happy to have found a community of caring, respectful, involved parents and a school ready and willing to accept my help, my opinions, and my neuroses.

Most especially, I am thankful for you. I so appreciate your hands-on, “treat them as individuals” approach to your class. From day one, you have greeted each child, looked into his eyes, and called him by name. It was obvious you wanted to get to know our children in order to teach to their needs and you have more than met that goal.

HRH enjoys school. He is genuinely happy to go every day, just as he was in preschool. One of my greatest fears was that his time at St Somewhere’s would destroy that enthusiasm. I can’t thank you enough for resurrecting it and for fostering it.

As we look to second grade – and kindergarten for Gremlin, I am optimistic. I am confident that, as with this year, my boys will be given teachers who will best meet their needs, who will show them that learning can be fun, and who will provide them with the gentle guidance you have this year.

With warmest regards,

Christine Manic

Team Why Mommy's Virtual Science Fair

Three things kind of converged in the last few weeks in a way that confirm my belief that we're all in this together.  My polygamist, gay, boyfriend, Jason is taking part in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure 60 Mile Walk.  He's doing it in memory of his mother and in honor of his brother, who was 11 when their mom died.

The second thing is that I was called back in after a yearly mammogram for a second look at what appears to be a calcification.  I have an appointment with a surgeon next week and look to be headed toward a biopsy.  I'm treating this the same way I've treated an abnormal pap result; I'm "concerned" lower case, not "CONCERNED" all caps.  My mom and my husband inform me they're doing the worrying for me.  I have very good people in my life.

The third is that I received an email from my dear friend, Jean, of Stimeyland.  I will always be grateful to blogging and to the universe for putting a person such as Jean in my path,  She is a good person.  She is smart, funny, caring, enthusiastic, energetic, self-effacing, and did I say wickedly funny?  She is the person you want in your corner.  She's got your back.

To wit: the email explained that a mutual blogging friend, Susan at Toddler Planet was going in for another round of surgery to address, heal, and kick cancer's ass.  Apparently, cancer didn't know who it was dealing with the first time.  Susan is yet another truly good person.  I had the pleasure of meeting her at BlogHer last year in Chicago.  Susan is an astrophysicist and a mommy.  And has cancer.

Jean came up with the brilliant idea of a Virtual Science Fair to show our support for Susan but not for her (rat bastard) cancer.   So here I am, doing what I can on all three fronts of my our battle:

1. I send money, support, and love to Jason.
2. I make appointments and follow-up, and stay positive about my own health
3. I submit my sons' and my science project.  (I hope we get an Honorable Mention)

Absorption Experiment:  

After cutting stems, place white carnations in a cup of water and add food coloring. What will happen?

Mom: What do you think will happen to the flowers?
HRH: The flower part will turn the color of the food coloring.
Gremlin: I don't know.

Mom: How do you think it happens?
HRH: The water will come into the bottom and be sucked up into the flower and by my calculations, you will be able to see that color.


Mom: How long do you think it will take?
HRH: Maybe about a half an hour to three quarters of an hour
Gremlin: Don't know!

Mom: Do you think it will make any difference if the stems are longer or shorter?
HRH: Maybe if the stems are longer, it will take longer to absorb.
Gremlin: You're a fast writer.

Mom: Do you think it will make any difference which colors we use?
HRH: Oh!  My food coloring dropped.
Gremlin: Mom, when can we start?
HRH: Mom, when can we start?

Natives getting restless. Time to move on to the doing:

Start time: 2:59 pm

Beware the dangers of food coloring.

4:17 pm - Change occurring in tips of petals!!

 

9:30 am (18 hrs, 31 minutes)

To Susan, I offer you this lovely bouquet of cheap-ass, $1.00 carnations now filled with all the colors of the rainbow.  I also send strength, healing, prayers, love, and good wishes. We've got your back.

Head over to Stimeyland to check out all the fabulous science-y expressions of love for Susan!

Wordless Thursday

"To:  Dr. Seuss"

"If you find this letter blowing, let it keep on going."

Suffer the Little Children

...and now for a (rebuttal) guest post in response to my Worst Valentine's Day post written by the subject, himself...

Greetings from Macedonia! What better way to celebrate Valentines Day than scratching old scars? Despite my own experience, I am pleased to know that HRH, Gremlin and others are carrying on this fine tradition, at least until "Facebook" reduces the virtue of such childhood kindnesses to just “virtual”. Actual human contact is so 20^th century.

Your telling of my experience is accurate, but I should mention that my most vivid memory is the look of horror from the teacher when she realized her error. As teacher, she was accepted by all as an ageless elder of secret wisdom, the same presumption that makes kids freeze in confusion when they encounter their teachers doing something mundanely human, like driving or food shopping.

In reality, my teacher was probably 20 years old and unsure of herself. As her Charlie Brown grew up, I realized that the trauma she experienced was probably, by far, the worst of the day. I am pleased to affirm your assertion that I am not now and never have been, a serial killer, but I am not so sure about that 20 year old teacher.

I’ve often wondered what has become of the hopeful young teacher scarred by my childish trauma. Does she spend Feb 14^th getting high sniffing mimeograph (born after 1970? Google it…) fluid before kidnapping a greeting card executive and forcing him to clap erasers until he chokes to death, then disposing of the body using the construction paper guillotine only big kids were allowed to operate? Is she the TV special voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher, so drunk from trying to drown out the trauma that she cannot speak a coherent sentence?

Despite my worst dreams of my teacher, it is probably a blessing that childhood traumas have greater effect on adults than they do on children. Today I visited the Skopje dump and found that many Roma children spend their days digging through the untended garbage heaps for any scrap they can sell. Their faces covered by thin scarves as a simple guard against the smell and fumes of the burning garbage they lit to keep themselves warm while they work. They were their yesterday, I am sure they will be there today, and back again on Valentine’s Day and the day after, etc.

Hopefully, as they grow older, things will improve, and the trauma of such childhood experiences will be less than that of the adults watching them work, helpless at the time to do anything to make things better, except for counting on the resilience of children while waiting for something to change.

That puts my schoolboy Valentine’s Day trauma into new perspective. Suffer the children and their teachers. They are all doing the best they can with what they’ve been given.

Sincerely,

Charlie (David) Brown

Thank you, David.

xoxo

I Think I'll Post This Every December 26th

God Bless Us. Every One.

I wanted to give each of you a little something as a thank you for everything you've given me this year. Well, it didn't arrive in time for Christmas. We're all moms here, so I know you'll understand.

For my friends, the someday moms: May your eggs be viable and your uterus be hospitable. Or may you find another way.

For my friends, the gestating moms: May the first and last trimesters go by with ease. May you take the sleep when you can get it. May you savor the miracle.

For my friends, the laboring moms: May your OB be on duty when you go into labor and free with the drugs. May your baby's head be small. May your partner know his place is to shut up and shovel ice chips.

For my friends, the brand new moms: May your baby latch on like a champ and sleep in long stretches. May you shower most days. May your husband have a great paternity leave policy.

For my friends, the mothers of newborns: May your child find a schedule. May he take a bottle, when necessary. May you be there for her first smile.

For my friends, the mothers of infants: May your child sleep through the night. May she be allergy-free. May he be an "easy baby".

For my friends, the mothers of toddlers: May your child not figure out how to open the child proof locks. May she not share food with the dog, then put it back in her mouth. May he not hit the terrible twos before his first birthday.

For my friends, the mothers of preschoolers: May potty training last days, not months. May she not suffer from separation anxiety on the first day of preschool. May he always like you better than his teacher.

For my friends, the mothers of kindergarteners: May your child adjust beautifully to big kid school. May the teacher recogize the uniqueness and individual gifts of your child.

For my friends, the mothers of elementary schoolers: May your child neither bully nor be bullied. May she love learning in all its forms.

For my friends, the mothers of tweens: May your child find his own moral compass. May friends, music, and movies not steal the precious years of childhood innocence.

For my friends, the mothers of high schoolers: May your children's deeds make you proud. May you be their mother first and their friend, second.

For my friends, the mothers of college students: May your children remember your lessons as they take their first fledgling steps to independence. May they make good decisions and know their own minds.

For my friends, the mothers of adults: May your children grow to be intelligent, loving, kind, good, hardworking, humorous parents. And may they take good care of us as we grow old.

For all of us: Though the days are long, the years are short. May we treasure the good ones and run down the clock on the bad ones with humor and love and friendship.

It was either this or a fruitcake.

Sending...

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Wishing a Merry Christmas to all my friends in the Blogisphere

You are a gift

Dear Craigslist:

For Sale: Brother-in-Law

1964 Heterosexual.
Never married. Low mileage. No baggage.
Original hair and teeth.
Handsome, smart, funny, athletic.
Owns own home and business.

Interests:
Sports,
Mooching meals,
Drinking beer,
Long walks on the beach
Name-calling
Introducing minors to scatological humor
Arriving 30 minutes prior to nephews' bedtime for
Wrestling Extravaganza!

Motivated seller.
All serious offers considered.
Pictures furnished upon request.


The fine print:
*BIL is being sold "as is" and all sales are final.
** Potential buyers must survive pass rigorous interrogation by mother, SILs, big sister.
*** Apply at your own risk.

Do You Believe in Magic?

I could never have planned it this perfectly. It started completely innocently, with my sister dialing her pediatrician, who happens to share our area code and exchange, and accidentally calling us. HRH answered the phone and ended up chatting with my five-year-old nephew on speaker (HRH talks to everyone on speaker). Josh's first question was "Did you make a bed for your elf?", which was met with a resounding "huh?" from both boys.

Now our Elf on the Shelf has been residing in my glove compartment since I purchased him at Barnes and Noble last week. At first, I was trying to figure out how to introduce him, perhaps a letter? should he just show up? did the book seem a little cloying? Then, quite honestly, I simply forgot about him. But this? Kid-to-kid rumor transmission? Flawless! Auntie and I finally wrestled the phone away from the young 'uns and - still on speaker - we asked her a series of questions regarding the Elf's mythology:

The magic Elf is on recon, sent by Santa to monitor the behavior of boys and girls and report his findings back to The Big Man and Mrs. Claus.

Rule 1: You must prepare a bed for the Elf
Rule 2: Children must never touch the Elf
Rule 3: Children may speak to the Elf but only grown ups can hear him talk back
Rule 4: You adopt your Elf by naming him
Rule 5: The Elf returns to the North Pole each night to provide intel.
Rule 6: Each morning, you will most likely have to search for the Elf, who likes to hide, the little trickster.

We had just bought Gremlin a new pair of sneakers today and have a brand new, cozy shoe box that seems like a perfect Elf bed to me. Step One? Check! Next, we went up to the linen closet to find a nice, soft hand towel for a blanket. The first one I pulled out? Red with green piping and a big Santa appliqued on the front. Step Two? SCORE! We were so on our way!

Lastly, some concern has been expressed about Santa knowing that it was time to deploy the Elf. Through a follow-up phone call to Auntie, we learned that while she did indeed already have her Christmas tree, she felt sure that Santa, seeing the Christmas lights on our house would know we were preparing for Christmas, regardless of our tree status.

In addition to the bed, the boys have set aside cookies and a juice box, and queued up a movie - A Christmas Story - should the Elf wish to watch it. And just in case, instructions for operating the DVD player have been yelled out the back door. In a little less than an hour, Daddy will arrive home to find an Elf sitting on our stairs and will bring him inside, to meet the family.

I can hardly wait!!

Quick Takes Friday - Post Thanksgiving Edition

1. Sung before meals at our preschool:

I'm thankful for my friends
And my family
I'm thankful for the food I eat
I'm happy to be me

I think it sums things up rather nicely.

2. This Thanksgiving, we went over the (Cape Cod) canal and through the traffic to Andy's sister's house on The Cape. His brother's family came up from Tennessee. My other two BILs were also in attendance. I understand so well the look of contentment on my MIL's face at having all her children and grandchildren together under one roof. True cause for giving thanks.

3. After staying at the table for a very civilized amount of time, HRH went up to his Auntie Sally and asked to be excused. When my BIL's parents were leaving, Gremlin shook hands with Mr. H and gave Mrs. H a hug. This is me, beaming with pride.

4. The problem with eating Thanksgiving away from home is the decided lack of leftovers. I will be remedying this situation by cooking a turkey tomorrow.

5. This afternoon, we've been sitting in front of the fire, watching Christmas movies (and Star Wars), eating popcorn and drinking hot cocoa. Not a bad way to spend the day.

6. One of the movies was a recently acquired DVD of Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. One of Andy's very favorites.

7. Daisy spent the night alone at our house with my siblings coming by for company and pee breaks. Maddie never spent a night alone or in a kennel in her entire life. Day-Z is definitely headed for second child syndrome.

I hope you all enjoyed your holiday and were able to spend it with friends and loved ones. Having you as my friends is one of the many things for which I am grateful.

Another Birthday Post

Because I married you, I have:

A Bread Winner

A Bug Killer

A Cat

A Co-parent

A Date for holidays

A Designated Driver

A Dirty job do-er

A Dog

A Fellow Star Trek geek

Good Tire Air Pressure

A Heavy lifter

In Laws

A Joint checking account

Life insurance

A Mortgage

A Necklace-clasper

An Omelet Maker

A Retirement plan

Sons

A Sounding board

A Toilet Plunger

A Valentine

A Wedding date

A Family
A Friendship
A Marriage
Love you, Babe. Happy Birthday.

Dog Day (Afternoon)

Meet Daisy!We picked her up Friday and we are in love! She is a playful, smart, goofy, clod-hopping puppy who does not seem to have a moment of anxiety - even after the entire neighborhood was out to greet her upon our arrival. She just bounced sideways around the grass playing, chasing the kids, and rolling onto her back to have her belly rubbed.

As expected, HRH is the careful big brother, making sure her water bowl is full, speaking softly to her, and pulling Legos and other tiny items from her mouth. Gremlin is Gremlin; loving her HARD and needing to be reminded that she is just a baby.

Andy and I finally shooed the boys off to bed Friday night then lay on the floor, playing with her. It was all fun and games until she found an old toy of Maddie's, which was a total downer.
Circle of life, right?


She does eventually run out of gas but after a quick puppycatnap, she's up and at 'em! We're so happy you're here, baby girl.

Life's Lessons from The Bink

I remember reading an article ages ago about a cat that lived in a nursing home. The cat acted as signal to the nurses that a patient was about to pass. He/she would visit the patient shortly before and stay until the patient had died. For all you skeptics no, the cat did not smother the patients; he merely sensed that his presence was needed to comfort and soothe them.

Tonight we were on Round Three of putting HRH to bed. He's not loving Baseball Camp, which consists of three hours a day of practice in hitting, throwing, catching, and fielding. I'm not a fan of quitting things before they're seen through. At the same time, I'm not leaving him there for that reason alone.

(a) God, I need three hours a day of one fewer child.
(b) We paid $125.00 for these 12 hours
(c) He likes baseball and is a pretty good hitter and thrower. I want him to have a recognized skill he can be proud of.
(d) I want him to be well-rounded and physically fit.
(e) He does not dislike it. Everything he's said had been reasonably positive. About how nice the coaches are, how the other kids are fun, and how he got to play an actual game with the 5-6-7 year-olds.
(f) Did I mention he's there 3 hours a day, exhausting himself?

So, HRH being HRH, he blames this for his failure to sleep, then working himself up to believe that he couldn't sleep because of Baseball Camp Angst.

During Andy's turn to re-put HRH to bed, the cat showed up, lay down on HRH's pillow and began to nuzzle his nose into HRH's hair. My (human) boy got a huge smile on his face, closed his eyes, and drifted to sleep. All because The Bink knew his presence was needed to comfort and soothe him.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday - Unbreak My Heart*

Maybe it's too soon but the house is too quiet, the bed is too empty and the cat is wandering around, looking.

Meet our new (as yet unnamed) little girl.
Born May 12th and joining our little Cabina Contenta on July 3rd.

* post title borrowed from my dear friend, Denise at Real, Life, Ramblings, the first person I turned to after Maddie.

Plenty

Today, after dropping HRH at school, Gremlin and I went on our appointed rounds, starting with Target. We were doing our usual; negotiating over staying in the cart, discussing not getting a toy whenever we go to Target, saying yes to a bag of M&Ms.

We got to a register with only one person ahead of us. I had to wait longer than you'd expect for the woman in front of me to pay for what looked like a single item, already in a bag. Then I noticed she was paying the $20.99 with a handful of bills, mostly ones, and 99 cents, mostly pennies. She used a Hello Kitty gift card for the remaining one dollar. She initially muffed the gift card transaction and had to reswipe the card. I thought for a minute whether offering up the dollar would insult her as I tried desperately to see what was in that Target bag.

I began forming a backstory for this woman. She was unemployed, out of prospects and out of money. She was literally counting every penny to buy one of life's simple necessities. The bag was too small for diapers (my worst case scenario) but it could have contained wipes, medication, or simple toiletries. She walked away with her purchase, her back straight and her head high. I slid forward and the cashier rolled her eyes at me and muttering "only happens to me..."

I was in the store for about 45 minutes and bought a new stroller, coloring books for the plane, ice melt, kitty litter, sale sweatshirts, Saran Wrap, and more of the general stuff of everyday life. I paid by debit card. I was distracted and forgot to look at the dollar amount as I punched in my PIN.

We're far from rich. I shop in Target because it's cost-effective. But we have enough.

I'm thinking of this woman, thinking of her needs and her dignity, persevering.

God Bless Us. Every One.

I wanted to give each of you a little something as a thank you for everything you've given me this year. Well, it didn't arrive in time for Christmas. We're all moms here, so I know you'll understand.

For my friends, the someday moms: May your eggs be viable and your uterus be hospitable. Or may you find another way.

For my friends, the gestating moms: May the first and last trimesters go by with ease. May you take the sleep when you can get it. May you savor the miracle.

For my friends, the laboring moms: May your OB be on duty when you go into labor and free with the drugs. May your baby's head be small. May your partner know his place is to shut up and shovel ice chips.

For my friends, the brand new moms: May your baby latch on like a champ and sleep in long stretches. May you shower most days. May your husband have a great paternity leave policy.

For my friends, the mothers of newborns: May your child find a schedule. May he take a bottle, when necessary. May you be there for her first smile.

For my friends, the mothers of infants: May your child sleep through the night. May she be allergy-free. May he be an "easy baby".

For my friends, the mothers of toddlers: May your child not figure out how to open the child proof locks. May she not share food with the dog, then put it back in her mouth. May he not hit the terrible twos before his first birthday.

For my friends, the mothers of preschoolers: May potty training last days, not months. May she not suffer from separation anxiety on the first day of preschool. May he always like you better than his teacher.

For my friends, the mothers of kindergarteners: May your child adjust beautifully to big kid school. May the teacher recogize the uniqueness and individual gifts of your child.

For my friends, the mothers of elementary schoolers: May your child neither bully nor be bullied. May she love learning in all its forms.

For my friends, the mothers of tweens: May your child find his own moral compass. May friends, music, and movies not steal the precious years of childhood innocence.

For my friends, the mothers of high schoolers: May your children's deeds make you proud. May you be their mother first and their friend, second.

For my friends, the mothers of college students: May your children remember your lessons as they take their first fledgling steps to independence. May they make good decisions and know their own minds.

For my friends, the mothers of adults: May your children grow to be intelligent, loving, kind, good, hardworking, humorous parents. And may they take good care of us as we grow old.

For all of us: Though the days are long, the years are short. May we treasure the good ones and run down the clock on the bad ones with humor and love and friendship.

It was either this or a fruitcake.