Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

From Our Home to Yours

Can't We Just Talk About Juan Williams Instead?

Scene: Driving to school this morning.  Radio inaudible.

Gremlin:  Mom, can you turn up the radio?

NPR's Madalit Del Barco: "...lights up her glass Hello Kitty pipe filled with primo California weed."

Note: Mom is navigating a rush hour traffic Rotary in a standard shift car.  Can't...safely...reach...radio...

Gremlin:  California Wii?

HRH:  No, she said Hello Kitty pipe.

Gremlin: No! She said California Wii!

HRH: No, she didn't!

MM changing radio station:  HRH, Gremlin is right; she said "Wii"

Oh, thank God.  Nirvana. Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Never Question the Nickname

Scene: Driving home from an impromptu day trip to the Cape.  A day which featured orange soda and fried clams at Spanky's Clam Shack, hitting two buckets of balls at the driving range, hundreds(ish) of dollars spent at the arcade, and frappes at Four Seas Ice Cream.

From the backseat, we hear HRH:  I don't remember too much appreciation these last few days... 


You and me both, buddy.

Random Thoughts From an Absentee Blogger

"It's like Chelsea Handler has made the conscious decision to not look hot anymore." Manic Mommy - 3/20/10 11:36 pm

'Nuff Said

Kind of a Drive-By but Had to Share

First grade work: Choose a word from the word list, use it in a sentence, and draw an accompanying picture.

The beret kills me. And "good art work"?

Quick Takes Friday - Volume 2

1. I have recently taken note of what a complete ass I sound like when I take the dog out to pee:
"Daisy peeps outside, Good Girl?" (getting her to the back door)
"Daisy peeps" (reminding her of why we're here)
"Go peeps outside, Daisy" (reinforcement, chanted continuously while she sniffs the entire yard)
"Good Girl! Daisy did peeps outside!" (y'know)
"Daisy, poops outside?" (the bonus round)

Moron

2. Yesterday morning, Gremlin came into our bed to snuggle when Andy went to take a shower. In the process of "snuggling," he knocked over my half full (half full = optimist!) glass of water. It hit the side of the radiator on its way down, shattering the glass into a million pieces, and dumping the water directly into a power strip under my bed. That'll wake you up.

3. Even after nine years of marriage and three years as a SAHM, I still feel the need to point out my "accomplishments"; "Did you see I bought you new t-shirts? I scrubbed the whole bathroom today!"

4. I'm going to be a mystery guest at HRH's school in a few weeks with some other moms. We're going to make Christmas Ornaments "Holiday Decorations" with the kids. Events like this are the real reason I'm a SAHM. The toilet cleaning is just a fringe benefit. Oh, and don't tell HRH; it's a mystery...

5. I bought a Wii Fit with credit card points!! I've only had this credit card for like, 7 years and never redeemed a single point. Free money!

6. The rabbit died. No, really. The bunny at preschool has passed on. We were supposed to take her home this weekend. I have not yet broached the subject with the boys. HRH had a total breakdown when we discussed Daisy's upcoming surgery, resulting in a lengthy discussion of ovaries, ovarian and cervical cancer, and girl parts in general. I really can't handle any more right now.

7. November is NaBloPoMo. The idea of posting every single day gives me hives but I am trying to step it up a notch and post a little more frequently. Andy has been coming up with some very creative alternatives for NaBloPoMo other than National Blog Posting Month.

Parenting: It's the Bee's Knees

Example 1: Mommy's little apiologist.

Gremlin: Mommy, do bees have tongues?

Manic Mommy: I...hmmm. We'll have to look that up!

(For future reference, yes, they do! They also have little pump thingies in their heads to suck the nectar.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Example 2: How long before he asks me to drop him off around the corner from school?

HRH: Mommy, I don't like to kiss on the lips.

Manic Mommy: Not even me?

HRH: Sorry, Mom. I'm just not that type of person.

Another Reason, Another Season...

For Makin' Cookies

Happy Valentines Day, Peeps!

Ten Word Tuesday (Wednesday Edition)

Have you played Bossy's 10 Word Tuesday? So far, Bossy's got 428 comments so it's entirely likely you did. I didn't get around to it until today (thus making me commenter number 428).

This week's challenge was to summarize your favorite movie in exactly ten words. Here's mine:

Newman and McQueen.

Guess who's hotter.

Them, or the fire.

What's your movie?

Redefining Funny

This email was sent to me by my friend, Nancy. It's basically spam so I'm not able to confirm its contents or origin. It still cracked me up and so I wanted to share. Enjoy!


The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


I'm torn between # 7 and 13 as my favorite. What's yours?

Car Talk

Click and Clack have nothing on HRH.

Scene: As we're leaving Starbucks' parking lot.

HRH: Mommy, I think I see a car that looks like Lila's daddy's.

MM: Oh? Which one?

HRH: Right there, next to the black one.

MM: Close they're both silver but that car is called a Pontiac. Lila's daddy's car is called a-

HRH: Beef Wellington?

MM: ?????

Going to Hell in a Laundry Basket

Lest you think I have only been ignorning all of you as we transition from school schedule to summer schedule, I give you exhibit A: This is our playroom loveseat, rendered completely unusable for its given purpose. Need a clean t-shirt, hon? Oh, I did a bleach wash. Go check the basement...

Ambush Makeover

Ta-freakin'-da!

So what do you guys think? The grey-on-grey was really starting to get to me and the alternatives on Blogger were either equally grim or already taken by my blog buddies. When Holly re-animated her life with stunningly, retro, mid-century results, I decided it was time to take the plunge. Especially when I saw my new best friend's awesome rates.

I've been working with Cyn, the Nap Warden over at NW Designs to create my awesome new look. Okay, done with the hyperlinks. She could not have been easier to work with.

• When I said I liked apple green but not mint green, she knew what I meant.


• When I said I wanted something "different" but didn't know what, she gave me options.


• When I said I wanted to be 110 lbs driving around in a Benz convertible...well, there's only so much magic she can work.

So the boys and I are off to a beach/playdate so this is yet another drive by blog but please, kick off your shoes, wander around, make yourselves at home. There's iced tea in the fridge. I'll be back shortly.

Why I Spell Kenmore with an F

Before:

After:

I can't even blame the boys for this one. Just really cheap parts.

Why Can't I Find the Time to Blog?