To Whom It May Concern - Volume (I don't know and I can't be bothered to look it up)

Dear USA Olympic Spectator: The giant, red, foam, USA cowboy hat? Bold fashion choice. Way to represent! Rube.

Dear Guy at Foxwoods sitting next to me at the slots: You really did look like a Butch-y woman. Didn't mean it as an insult when I called you "she". Peace out.

Dear Discountfloor.com: $676.10 for 8 boxes of clearance carpet tiles really doesn't feel like a discount. And $80.00 for shipping?  This is for our basement.  Thanks but no thanks.

Dear Ants climbing the pipes into my bathroom:  It's February!   We can do battle in the spring. Go night-nights fer chrissake!

Dear Barry Manilow:  I'm so happy I found your Ultimate Manilow CD when we  moved the fridge this week.  I must say, however that listening to it while driving around on a cold and dreary day makes me want to drive into a bridge abutment.  I hope you're happier than you were back in the 70s.

Dear NPR:  I understand that the ethics of force feeding hunger strikers is an important topic but do you think you could schedule the discussion for a time when I am not trying to shovel down a not-so-savory Healthy  Choice meal? Not good.

Dear Me:  Oh, looky!  Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits!  Into the car it goes!

Dear Me (2):  Find a current radio station.  Listen to it.  You're getting a little pathetic.