Monday, June 1, 2009

The Rhetorical Husband

1. Do we have milk?
 (Hmm. If I had bought milk, where would I put it?)

2. Is this today's paper?
(Let's look at the top. Just below the words, The Boston Globe, what's right there?)

3. Do you know where I took off my watch?
(...?)

4. Do you want me to give Gremlin his bath?
(No! Please. Let me.)

5. Do you know if it's supposed to rain today?
(Well, my trick knee is throbbing...)

6. Do you know where the boys' shoes are?
(See #3)

7. Picks up phone and reads caller ID aloud: 866-222-1000?
(I'm gonna go with "telemarketer"...)

8. Should I have the boys wear their raincoats?
(Is it raining?)

9. Are you watching this?
(Uh-huh...)

10. Are you awake?


What questions do you answer (or ignore)?
at

17 comments:

  1. Life As I Know ItJune 1, 2009 at 9:34 AM

    yup, these sound right on. I can't tell you how many times I get asked the weather report...

    ReplyDelete
  2. natasha the exile on Mom StreetJune 1, 2009 at 9:37 AM

    My favorite is when he calls me back after I've left 3 or 4 voice mails and asks, "Did you need something?"

    No. I was just prank-calling you. All morning.

    Good grief.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jenn @ Juggling LifeJune 1, 2009 at 10:08 AM

    That is too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  4. {sue}June 1, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    I thought for a minute you were married to MY husband. But he would never ask 4, 6 or 8.

    My favorite is when he calls the house phone and gets the message that I am ON THE PHONE and then calls my cell and says "Were you on the phone?" GAH!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maggie MayJune 1, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    ah! i needed this laugh, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. sitting on the mood swing at the playgroundJune 1, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read these or my keyboard would be a mess from laughing. It sounds like universal husband speak.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kate Coveny HoodJune 1, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    My favorite is "do we have clean clothes for the kids?" (when he decided to help and get them dressed)

    It's quite obvious who is in charge of laundry at my house.

    ReplyDelete
  8. SarahvizJune 1, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    A lot of times my Hubby will make a statement, and then automatically say, "What?" BEFORE I'VE EVEN RESPONDED.

    Grrr.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Otter ThomasJune 1, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    That is hilarious because I am guilty of all that and more. My wife could have a hay day listing my questions.

    ReplyDelete
  10. FunnyrunnerJune 1, 2009 at 4:45 PM

    ooh I LOVE this post! Men cannot find a GD thing, and I have proven this because it's genetic in that my adolescent boys can't find something in front of their faces either. Mom, where's this, Mom where's that (always in front of their face)...

    ReplyDelete
  11. anymommyJune 1, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    Do you want me to take the kids outside?

    Do pigs fly? Is the grass green? Hell, yes, please GO!

    Your list is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ShawnaJune 1, 2009 at 10:11 PM

    Aw the poor hubby! Some are legitimate questions! I can see how some of those get annoying though.

    ReplyDelete
  13. StimeyJune 1, 2009 at 11:15 PM

    Are you watching this? is my favorite. Alex does that too. C'mon, dude.

    Also, that was totally my phone number. Thanks for publishing it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Michele RJune 2, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    With three boys on different sports teams I keep a calendar next to the fridge color coded with who has what games and practices and times. Hubs will ask me while we are both in the kitchen "if we have anything going on after work the next day".

    ReplyDelete
  15. KCJune 2, 2009 at 7:56 PM

    These are classic. I personally like: Do you want me to make you a cocktail?

    ReplyDelete
  16. JasmineJune 2, 2009 at 10:54 PM

    HAHA! Are you sure you aren't married to my husband?

    ReplyDelete
  17. anyaJune 6, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    I love this post - what is it with men?? It's like having another child!

    ReplyDelete

Stayed for coffee.