Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Welcome to the Innagural Every-So-Often S-JAMM Awards. Here is your host, two-time winner of People's Sexiest Man Alive Award, George Clooney!
George: Welcome, folks! (charming, witty monologue ensues) MM, you look positively ravishing. See you later in The Green Room?
MM: ...I...um...ahhhh... (drools into the decolletage of her Carolina Herrera gown - luckily, Renee Zellweger has a spare)
George: Well, we've only just begun and the show's already run 2 hours over, so let's hand out some awards!
First up, in the category of animation, please welcome Jessie from Toy Story 2. She's presenting The You Make Me Smile Award, given to Manic Mommy last February by the colorful and flavorful KC, star of Where's My Cape.
And the winner is...Holly at June Cleaver Nirvana for her recurring role in Holly's Animated Life.
Excerpts from her acceptance speech include "maybe I can put it beside the fruit bowl."
It was a real coup for Manic Mommy to get Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson to present this next award right on the heals of their Nipplegate exoneration. Ladies and gentlemen, The Blog Buddies Award, previously presented to Manic Mommy by the lovely and lusty JCK of Motherscribe.
Justin and Janet happily pin this award to the chest of that Swanky Mama, Denise at Real. Life. Ramblings. Oh, there seems to be a delay; Denise stops three times on her way up to the stage to change shoes.
Next up, please welcome Nicole Kidman, 45 minutes postpartum wearing a size negative 2 (she's already lost all 1.3 pounds of baby weight through an all flax seed and pomegranate diet). In another S-JAMM first, The Five Blogs That Make My Day Award is a tie! And all five winners are The New Girl!
She was long considered the front-runner in this category. But the edgy/modern/informative/unique brand of humor exemplified in her blog has managed to stun even Vegas' most knowledgeable odds-makers!
Manic Mommy had previously won this award given by none other than JCK at Motherscribe.What a night for The New Girl, The Man, and of course, everyone's favorite TLNG!
Our next award
Here to present the award are Salma Hayak and Penelope Cruz. Uh, because they speak Spanish. And they're gorgeous.
And the award goes to Georgia Getz, best known to Manic Mommy's husband as Bossy! And the Kodak Theatre erupts in thunderous applause as Bossy arrives in her very own Saturn Vue.
It had been widely speculated that Ms. Getz would send a young Native American girl in her place to decline the award. But to the delight of S-JAMMers everywhere, she is here tonight! Bossy, please get your brilliant son to translate. Or at least put on a tux for us to leer at!
And at long last, we arrive at tonight's final award.
In a near repeat of the 46th Academy Awards streaking incident, Jennifer begins her walk to the podium naked but for a pair of her signature fishnets to
launch herself at accept her award. Viggo meets her halfway and the two are quickly ushered off stage by Rumer Willis.
George Clooney (throws an arm over the back of a Green Room couch as he straightens his tie to cover lipstick marks from his previously crisp white collar and unbuttoned shirt): Well folks, I hope you all had as good a time tonight as I did. God give me the stamina to do this again!
Manic Mommy: And again...good night everybody!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I started reading blogs around April or May of 2007, when my friend and neighbor send me a link. By June, I was hooked. By July, HRH fell and split his head open - and my first post was born. I started my blog right around the time of BlogHer 07. It seemed fitting.
This week, I am again home while bloggers from across the nation converge to discuss, learn, and drink. But it was different. This year, I would have had friends to hang out with. I may have even had a roommate. And each day, each month, I find more friends and more in common with women I may never meet but whom I feel I know well only through their words and my own.
In honor of my first Blogoversary, I give to you, My 100 Things:
1. I had my tonsils out when I was 4. When I was in my late 20s, I went to an ENT specialist following a series of strep throat infections and learned that they had grown back.
2. This same thing happened to my mother-in-law
3. I can touch my nose with my tongue
4. When I was eight years old, I knocked boiling water onto my left ankle while we were camping. I can still remember my mother and uncle grabbing me and peeling off my sneaker and sock, and watching my skin peel off with it.
5. When I was 20 and all my friends had already turned 21, I had a fake ID that I used.
6. My name was Maria Siasios and the license listed me as 5’ 2”. I’m 5’7”
7. One night at The Boston Beach Club, a guy I was
flirting with talking to saw it and told me he was with the ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Commission). My friend, Jen grabbed me and we hauled ass out of the club.
8. Years later, I was telling this story and my brother-in-law told me this was a ploy he used to use.
9. I’m going to be co-maid of honor in my younger sister’s wedding next spring.
10. My older sister is the other maid.
11. We are both married but refuse to use the term “matron”
12. I have been in eight weddings.
13. We were also co-maids-of-honor at my cousin’s wedding, nearly 9 years ago.
14. This same cousin and I were engaged at the same time, got married within six months of each other and have been pregnant with each of our respective two children at the same time.
15. She’s pregnant again and due in January.
16. She’s flying solo this time.
17. Despite my earlier yearnings, I think we’re gonna sit tight with the two we’ve already got.
18. My driver’s license expires on 09/09/09.
19. The same thing happened a few (uh, like 10) years ago, when it expired on 9/9/99.
20. On a work
boondoggle trip to Vegas, I learned how to play craps and kept winning on number 9.
21. That was my third trip to Vegas for work and the first time I actually enjoyed being there.
22. Andy and I went to Vegas three months after 9/11 and stayed two nights at the New York New York, with non-stop round trip tickets from Boston for $550.00 total for the both of us.
23. I have a restraining order against an old boyfriend whom I found in my bedroom closet five years after we broke up.
24. Andy and I were introduced by JD Power’s daughter.
25. She’s married to Andy’s cousin and I used to work with her.
26. Two years ago, we had JD and his wife over for Thanksgiving dinner.
27. I pushed Andy away for more than a year, insisting we were “just friends” because of my
steamer trunk baggage.
28. He didn’t give up on me, thank God.
29. Both of my boys were born with their umbilical cord wrapped around their neck.
30. HRH was born a month to the day early at 5 lbs 9 oz.
31. RC was born via emergency c-section at 6 lbs 14 oz.
32. I much preferred the Cesarean to pushing a baby out of my vagina.
33. I love Mexican food.
34. I could eat nothing but guacamole and chips quite happily for the rest of my life.
35. I was eating and later threw up guacamole the night I went into labor with HRH.
36. I like California Mexican better than Tex-Mex.
37. I visited San Antonio on business quite a few times a few years ago.
38. People in San Antonio really do wear cowboy boots and cowboy hats – and drive pickups.
39. The Alamo is really, really boring. And small. The Riverwalk is quite cool.
40. I have a theme song. It’s Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison.
41. Jimmy Buffett does a nice cover of it and when we’re at the concert, I pretend he’s singing it just to me.
42. This will be my 11th year seeing Jimmy Buffett in concert.
43. I’m claustrophobic but not debilitatingly so. More like, if given a choice, I’ll take the stairs.
44. I’m not ticklish.
45. Change is really hard for me. Even if I’m going out to do something I really want to do, part of me is thinking “maybe we can just stay home and watch TV.”
46. I have a head for trivia and useless knowledge.
47. My sister recently called me for that word that describes words that are spelled the same backwards and forwards, like racecar.
48. That word is palindrome.
49. I love board games. Trivial Pursuit in particular. Go figure.
50. The problem is that I judge people’s intelligence based on their game-playing prowess.
51. I also do this with misspelled/mispronounced/misused words.
52. This is why I find texting language so difficult.
53. Kevin Bacon is A Number 1 on my List.
54. You know, the free pass your spouse gives you to sleep with one (usually famous) person should you ever find yourself presented with the opportunity.
55. KB has been on the top of my list since I saw him in Footloose when I was 15.
56. George Clooney currently resides in second place.
57. Ocean’s 11 is on right now and I hate Julia Robert’s gold lame dress.
58. I also think she walks with the grace of an elephant, although she’s supposed to play elegant.
59. I think Michelle Pfeiffer is luminous. George described her as such in One Fine Day.
60. Andy and I both love The Mummy with Brenden Fraser and Rachel Weisz.
61. Rachel Weisz is probably currently Andy’s A Number 1.
62. I was baptized Catholic and spent 12 years in Catholic school.
63. We baptized both our boys Catholic.
64. I went to church religiously weekly until after we were married.
65. Clearly Andy’s converted me to The Dark Side
66. I used to be a lector at my church.
67. These days, I am an ala carte Catholic
68. There’s too much I don’t agree with.
69. I wanted to convert to Episcopal but Andy believes “you gotta dance with the one that brung ya.”
70. I absolutely believe in God.
71. There’s too much out there that had to be created by a higher power.
72. I also believe that there is a universality that exists, linking all of us together and affecting the outcome.
73. I think that people who say they are spiritual but not religious haven’t figured out what they’re looking for.
74. We’re sending HRH to Catholic school in the fall.
75. We’ll have to start attending church again.
76. You know, so we’re not hypocritical.
77. I’ve been cramming with him to learn The Sign of the Cross, Hail Mary and Our Father.
78. We have been doing ‘God Blesses’ with the boys since they were infants.
79. We talk about God and Heaven and they know who The Big Man is.
80. We’re sending him to Catholic school less because we want him to receive a Catholic-centric education as because we don’t like the alternatives available to us in our current public school system.
81. Generally, I feel that good public schools offer more alternatives than parochial schools.
82. Education is a top priority in Andy’s family.
83. He and his four siblings all went to top private schools.
84. I’ve completed four years of college but don’t have a degree.
85. That is really, really hard for me to admit.
86. I had this stupid idea you were supposed to know what you wanted to be when you grew up in order to complete college.
87. My dad was a blue collar hero whose favorite expression was ‘fucking yuppies.’
88. As a result, I didn’t get a lot of support from him on the college front.
89. Especially when I was initially an undeclared major.
90. Working without a degree and doing pretty well taught me that you don’t have to love what you do to be good at it.
91. One of my biggest regrets is not going away to college. I partially blame a tiny Catholic school and a really shitty guidance counselor for that.
92. Not having a degree is my biggest insecurity.
93. I’m very smart but don’t have the piece of paper to back it up.
94. I have finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up; interior design.
95. I get to go to school when RC starts full-time kindergarten. Two years and counting.
96. I think if I were to pursue a career without first finishing my degree, it would be Real Estate.
97. Part of the reason I will get my degree is so I can never be an excuse for my kids.
98. I used to think I was a very good writer before I started reading blogs.
99. I still think I’m a good writer.
100. I know I am a survivor.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Now we have thiz:
And, following my attemptz at repair, we have thiz:
(Iz it juzt me or doez four piecez for a button the zize of my ring finger pad zeem a little excezzive?)
Damn you, June Cleaver Nirvana and your damn Pot Luck! If I weren't on your zite, RC might have actually recieved my attention and not climbed onto my lap to flick the (letter between R and T) right off my keyboard!
What waz that? You were zerving me up an AWARD when thiz occurred?
Um. Never mind. I'm delighted! You make my day everyday! Ezpecially thoze witty and wonderful pot luckz!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Yes, I was wearing a blue golf shirt and khaki shorts also. No, we didn't do this every day. They boys and Andy were a coincidence, then I saw it and decided to geek out and join in. Andy called us the Griswolds.
Or maybe they'll just remember another family vacation on the Cape.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
He is my best friend, my lover, the best father I could ask for my children, my reward, and the answer to my prayers.
Everywhere you look is a postcard waiting to be shot.
When my sister, Danni and I were tweens, we stayed up late one night when my parents were out watching a movie called A Little Romance about an American girl and French boy who run away to Venice. They were told by an old man (Sir Laurence Oliver) that if you kissed under the Bridge of Sighs that your love would last forever.
Andy and I kissed under the Bridge during a gondola ride.
Happy Anniversary, Babe. I wouldn't change a minute.
Monday, July 14, 2008
1 1/2 oz Vodka
3 oz Cranberry Juice
1 Wedge Lime
Pour Vodka and Cranberry Juice into a High Ball glass over ice.
Add the wedge of lime
Friday, July 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
HRH (age 5): RC? Do you beat me up because you want to be like me?
MM (springs like a cat, sensing an opening): You know, RC, HRH does peeps and poops in the potty...
RC (age 3): Sure, HRH. I want to be like you. (what.ev.)
HRH (this, he can understand): Oh! Okay! When you and I have some private time, I'll show you so you can be more like me.
RC (already losing interest in the topic): Okay.
HRH (mentoring-ly): RC, do you want to sing the ABCs?
Manic Mommy smiles slyly...brotherly love and potty training.
RC (in perfect pitch): A B C D...I don't like you...
Manic Mommy sighs...
Scene 2: Upon arriving in parking lot where Daddy is waiting to point out the spot next to his car.
HRH and RC (excitedly): Daddy!
Daddy: Hi Boys!
RC (as Daddy extricates him from the car): Daddy! We beat you here!
Scene 3: Upon arriving home in Daddy's car as Manic Mommy extricates RC from his carseat.
RC (enthusiastically): Mommy, I like Daddy better than you!
MM bites tongue...almost bedtime
Monday, July 7, 2008
Tonight, I linked onto A Mom Two Boys (cause it sounds familiar) and was on post number 5 or 6 before I realized that it was Meghan who had actually founded All Mediocre (cause I'm sharp like that).
Meghan was tagged with a meme in which you have to answer each question with only one word. Her answers were cute and funny but what made them unusual was that she included a second set of answers expanding on her original single-word answer. I'm stealing both the meme and the extended mix version (cause I like to pay homage like that). I'm also adding A Mom Two Boys to my feeds (cause I like her style).
1. Where is your cell phone? Bag
2. Your significant other? Andy
3. Your hair? Curly
4. Your mother? Me
5. Your father? Dead
6. Your favorite thing? Sleep
7. Your dream last night? ??
8 Your favorite drink? Wine
9. Your dream/goal? Retirement
10. The room you’re in? Kitchen
11. Your hobby? Yoga
12. Your fear? Trouble
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing
14. What you’re not? Confident
15. Muffins? Eh
16. One of your wish list items? Bath
17. Where you grew up? Bostonish
18. The last thing you did? TV
19. What are you wearing? Shorts
20. Favorite Gadget? Cell
21. Your pets? Superfluous
22. Your computer? New!!
23. Your mood? Eh
24. Missing someone? Yeah
25. Your car? Hazmat
26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
27. Favorite store? Target
28. Like someone? Huz
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When was the last time you laughed? 4:00-ish
31. Last time you cried? Years
Now the DJ-AM Extended Club Mix:
1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse. Mostly dead. I have to remember to charge it when I'm home because the majority of my car trips are too short to get a good charge.
2. Your significant other? Andy. Just called me into the living room to watch Princess Leah in chains
3. Your hair? Curly. I got it cut over a week ago but still haven't bothered to style it because it's been too humid. And humid + curly = frizz.
4. Your mother? Me. I know what I'm going to be 22 years from now. Always have.
5. Your father? Dead. I let that sleeping dog lie.
6. Your favorite thing? Sleep. Sad, but at this juncture, probably true.
7. Your dream last night? I dreamed a 3-year-old kept getting out of his bed and coming into mine. Oh...wait...
8 Your favorite drink? Wine or maybe Tea. No. Wine.
9. Your dream/goal? Retirement. Summer on the Cape. Winter in Naples, Fl. Freelancing if we want to. And as long as it doesn't interfere with travel or golf.
10. The room you’re in? Kitchen. Because I need to be sitting at a table or desk to type well.
11. Your hobby? Yoga. It goes with that whole mind/body/spirit thing I'm working on.
12. Your fear? Trouble. AKA something bad happening to my family.
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Designing. The plan is that after the boys are in school full time, I go back to Boston Architectural College to study interior design. It's good to be nearly 40 and finally figure out what you want to be when you grow up.
14. What you’re not? Confident. I'll let that one stand alone for now as well
15. Muffins? Eh. Brownies on the other hand...
16. One of your wish list items? Bath. As in Master. Whenever we talk about a new house, that is an absolute. The definition of true luxury.
17. Where you grew up? Bostonish. Basically, I've lived in two towns my whole life.
18. The last thing you did? TV. I love almost anything on HGTV. Tonight it was Curb Appeal and Hidden Potential. I can't be bothered to link them.
19. What are you wearing? Shorts. It's 9:46 and still 80 degrees outside. The kitchen temp is 74.7 in case you were interested.
20. Favorite Gadget? Cell phone. I don't know anyone's phone number, I just know their speed dial. I also keep my appointments in there, and take lots of pictures.
21. Your pets? Superfluous. Not true but I needed just one word. They were my practice babies. While we're on vacation, we're making my sister stay at my mother's house so Maddie doesn't need to go to a kennel because at 8 years old, my dog has never spent a single night by herself. I don't think she knows she's a dog and not a person.
22. Your computer? New!! The funny thing is I needed a laptop so I could blog anywhere yet somehow I always end up in the kitchen.
23. Your mood? Eh. I'm in kind of a weird place right now. The boys are kicking my ass and I'm having trouble getting back in the zone.
24. Missing someone? Yeah. My best friend, Chris. It's a long story.
25. Your car? Hazmat. Not only is it my car but it's the family car, too. Just today, I proposed we hang onto it for a boat hauler/winter vehicle for Andy because the trade in will be junk anyway. This will leave me free to get something that still works for the kids and us but has a little more style/better fuel economy. I'm thinking possibly a CR-V.
26. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes. Now it's 79.7 degrees outside
27. Favorite store? Target. Where else can you go to buy a printer ink cartridge, personal lubricant, and five pounds of almonds? Exactly.
28. Like someone? Huz. Andy and I have these 'dates' where we sit in the kitchen, drink wine, and talk. It's sort of nice after 8 years of marriage to still have something to say to one another.
29. Your favorite color? Green (like my cooking)
30. When was the last time you laughed? Earlier. When I came downstairs and found a naked RC coming in the back door stating "I just peed on the deck."
31. Last time you cried? Years. My mom calls us 'the frozen chosen.' Just keep pushing those emotions down, pushing them down.
And hey, look! I'm breaking with tradition and tagging JCK at Motherscribe (cause she's going to Blogher and I'm soooo envious) and Fran at Merlot Mom (cause she is too, dammit!).
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
I'm torn between # 7 and 13 as my favorite. What's yours?
Friday, July 4, 2008
The first thing everyone always says is "how do you deal with those crowds?" The answer is simple:
No kidding. Back in the day, Front Row Center involved showing up with my dad and siblings around 8:00 pm on the night of the 3rd with a tarp and a blanket to secure your spot, then hanging out all night. I lived my tween and teen years there. First under the closely watchful eye of my father and later with increasing freedom to move.
We met hundreds of people, spent time with family we might not otherwise have seen, made friends with all the police and service people you could think of, and met a ton of local celebrities. I've brought my closest friends, flirted with my cousins' friends, walked along the Charles River, and watched the sunrise over The Public Garden with my father. I know what it is to truly feel patriotic. In those moments, I'm supremely proud of my country.
The question the reporters always asked is "Is it worth it?" I've been there in the pouring rain, like today. I've been there in the broiling heat with my parents demanding I drink more water and contemplate taking us home. And I've been there in jeans and sweatshirts - and one year even a turtleneck! But as the sun begins to set and the orchestra arrives and begins to tune up, you know; it's so worth it.
As the years passed and we "went national," and especially as the world became a more dangerous place, it became necessary to get there earlier, and more and more restrictions were placed on our movement. It became more work and less fun. And that's when I said 'enough.'
The Pops used to play a few more concerts at the Esplanade throughout the month of July and even after the 4th became a major event, you could still go to the Esplanade with just a blanket and picnic basket and enjoy a wonderful summer's evening set to an amazing soundtrack. I miss those days.
Lying on a blanket in The Oval, watching the sky darken, listening to live classical music remains 'my happy place.' In my mind, I go there often.
Today, my brother and younger sister are there (sans significant others - for some reason, none of our four S.O.'s ever really 'got it'). My older sister turns 41 with her family, down in Williamsburg, VA (Happy Birthday, Dan), and my mom's joining us for a barbecue with our neighbors.
Whatever you do today, celebrate and enjoy. Happy 4th of July.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Scene: As we're leaving Starbucks' parking lot.
HRH: Mommy, I think I see a car that looks like Lila's daddy's.
MM: Oh? Which one?
HRH: Right there, next to the black one.
MM: Close they're both silver but that car is called a Pontiac. Lila's daddy's car is called a-
HRH: Beef Wellington?